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So angry with normal child behaviour

75 replies

sochicsocheap · 05/01/2022 15:57

Name change.

I want to point out that I am looking for genuine help and advice. No flaming or pilling on, I’m trying to change my RL for me and my children.

Ok, here goes. Whenever my DD5 is misbehaving or not listening etc I always feel super angry inside. Most of it is just usual silly kid stuff put I feel such rage. Like yesterday I told her not to jump in the puddle, she did and it pissed me off. Told her not to pick up stones, she did and again I’m pissed off. Told her to drop the stones, instead she walks to the end of the garden (we were on way home) and drops them there. Today told her not to walk in the mud and of course she’s walking in it. Most of the time I try to stay level headed and not let the anger out but there are times it does and I feel terrible for it. I love my daughter so much and I don’t want her to think I don’t or that I hate her. Would also love it if she bloody listened to me but I understand that is a separate issue.

My dad used to hit me as a child and was very emotionally controlling too so I’m super conscious of getting things wrong as a parent as I swore I would never be like him. I’m worried that maybe I am becoming just like him (I don’t smack her btw) and I know how badly that hers a child and I do not want to do that to her. Please help me 😭

OP posts:
Username404 · 05/01/2022 17:30

I’ve been angry at my son since he was a few days old. He triggered something bad in me. I don’t spend much time with him anymore, the time I do spend with him I end up shouting or crying. It gets worse every day and soon he’ll be old enough to tell me he hates me.

I do try the “fake it til you make it” and I’m hoping that one day it will suddenly start working.
Do you get much of a break, op? Do you have a partner or other family to help out? Make sure you have some time to yourself.

sochicsocheap · 05/01/2022 17:31

We were on the way home and I didn’t want her to ruin her school shoes. The stone she picked up at our front door and I just didn’t want it in the house. I guess neither of those were important in hindsight.

I honestly really appreciate all the advice but am curious, if I’m always going to say yes to her am I not just bending to everything she wants. How will I get her to listen when it’s something I can’t say yes to?

Someone asked my age, I’m 33. I also have a 6m old so more sleep is a little impossible right now but something I am tying to work on.

With DH I’ve found myself slowly irritated by just his presence but that’s a whole thread in itself. God I sound like a shit person Blush

OP posts:
Dinosauratemydaffodils · 05/01/2022 17:32

I had an emotionally abusive childhood and I've found certain aspects of parenting really hard. Due to the way I was raised, I struggle with control. My instincts cry out for complete and utter control of every element of my life. My kids are 6 and 3...

Getting enough sleep, surrounding myself with other mums to see what parents raised in healthy environments see as reasonable and being honest about my feelings with dh has definitely helped. Counting to 5 before responding to avoid the knee jerk rage response is important as well. I've also limited the rules. Puddles are OK if in wellies for example. Then it's mostly making games and distractions. Dc1 had a thing for sticks so rather than tell him to drop it, we'd call it stickman and find a suitable family tree. He'd put it down happily then. Plus wherever possible they get choices even if as minor as choosing the order of shops we go in or which way we walk home.

Things which are non negotiable are mostly safety related, I.e holding hands crossing the road or in car parks. It's little steps but we're definitely happier as a family for it.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

sochicsocheap · 05/01/2022 17:35

Thinking about it I actually think the trigger is her not listening to me because there are a lot of times when these things don’t bother me. I think it’s when she’s not doing something I’m asked I feel like I’m not a good parent and then I act like not a good parent if that makes sense

OP posts:
TheNoodlesIncident · 05/01/2022 17:35

It does actually help to rephrase what you want, so instead of saying "Don't jump in the puddle" say "Go around the puddle" so say what you want to happen, not what you don't want.

Also I do agree with PPs, why not jump in puddles, gather stones, etc? These things are FUN. Children see the possibilities for fun far more than adults do. Dirt washes off, memories stick around for much longer. It sounds like you don't want your child's memories to be of negativity (my mum was grouchy and miserable, I've tried hard not to be like her to my dc!) and misery, good on you for recognising this and wanting to change.

I've read the Philippa Perry book as well, it was very good.

Newgirls · 05/01/2022 17:37

Love the Philipa Perry book.

Maybe book in with a therapist if you can? You were controlled as a kid and that parenting is wired into your brain. The brilliant thing is you have already identified that pattern and want to change so I think you will 👍

Newgirls · 05/01/2022 17:38

What I mean is - do you have to be in charge of her every moment? Of course when safety is concerned but when is she meant to grow and experience the world? She needs to jump in a puddle or two!

museumum · 05/01/2022 17:40

if I’m always going to say yes to her am I not just bending to everything she wants. How will I get her to listen when it’s something I can’t say yes to?

No - the opposite. I find if I mostly say yes to things or yes but with a suggested tweak to something else fun but less destructive then when I do say no ds listens and complies much much better.

qualitygirl · 05/01/2022 17:45

Like yesterday I told her not to jump in the puddle, she did and it pissed me off. Told her not to pick up stones, she did and again I’m pissed off. Told her to drop the stones, instead she walks to the end of the garden (we were on way home) and drops them there. Today told her not to walk in the mud and of course she’s walking in it.

What are your reasons for not wanting her to do these things @sochicsocheap ? Did you explain to her or just request that she does as you say?
Also are you that constant about little things because if so it sounds like you are being completely over controlling and she couldn't be arsed listening to you as it doesn't make a difference any more.

SmallElephant · 05/01/2022 17:46

Yes I agree with the posters above - I try hard to say "yes" whenever I can, so when I say "no" my DC know I mean it!

SmallElephant · 05/01/2022 17:47

The Philippa Perry book is a good call too. It's about how our own parents affect our parenting.

AnneLovesGilbert · 05/01/2022 17:48

I try to keep “no” for dangerous things and say yes or offer suggestions. So she wants to walk into the road to go in a massive puddle, how about that even better one further up on the pavement. She wants to take stones from the driveway of the people who I know are quite precious, how about we wait till we’re at the park up the road and wait for the bigger stones. She wants to do something completely daft, offer big distraction of looking for a plane in the sky or listening to the birds in the trees.

I don’t feel like grumpy always saying no mum, she feels like she’s given opportunities instead of being told off.

If you can let go of the small stuff life feels easier. And I know washing is a pain in the arse, we’re all dealing with that, but honestly who really cares about muddy clothes if what you’ll remember is how fun the walk was?

AnneLovesGilbert · 05/01/2022 17:49

Another vote for Phillipa Perry and also How to talk to kids will listen…

DD is nearly 3 so I’ve got years of this ahead but found the latter book brilliant when my step DC were around the age your DC is.

Cuddlemuffin · 05/01/2022 17:55

OP it's likely that your child's behaviour triggers something that reminds you of being a child yourself and as you had an authoritarian father it's likely that it provokes fear in your. Fear and anger go hand in hand. I know this from having had counseling for a similar reason. Honestly, the fact that you have noticed this in yourself is a massive step in the right direction. Moving forward I would recommend counseling. It's about being self aware, understanding the triggers, unpicking the past and making positive changes for the future. Good luck x

Cuddlemuffin · 05/01/2022 17:56

Also getting enough sleep helps massively with how much patience I have with my children! Self care is important as a parent x

itsgettingweird · 05/01/2022 17:56

It's totally normal to feel frustrated and angry when you're literally talking to yourself because your kid pleases the self anyway.

And it's perfectly normal for 5yo to try and do as they please.

What can work is resetting.

So she likes to jump in puddles and walk in mud. Not really ok if on way home in school shoes. So take wellies and puddle suit. She has a choice to wear those and walk in ourselves or stick to school shoes and not. Giving element of choice allows the, to feel some control, removes the negatives all the time of "don't" and also allows you more scope for clear and consistent boundaries and consequences if she makes the wrong choices.

Tiredalwaystired · 05/01/2022 17:56

@Username404

I’ve been angry at my son since he was a few days old. He triggered something bad in me. I don’t spend much time with him anymore, the time I do spend with him I end up shouting or crying. It gets worse every day and soon he’ll be old enough to tell me he hates me.

I do try the “fake it til you make it” and I’m hoping that one day it will suddenly start working.
Do you get much of a break, op? Do you have a partner or other family to help out? Make sure you have some time to yourself.

So sorry you feel this way - that must be terrible for both of you

OP have you tried to get in touch with Home Start? Sounds like you could do with a bit of support

www.home-start.org.uk/

PhoboPhobia · 05/01/2022 18:02

It’s not about always saying yes but rather limiting how often you say no or don’t.

Sadly the PP book wasn’t about when mine were small but agree How to Talk is excellent too.

It’s great that you’re thinking about this and looking to change. Don’t beat yourself up.

minipie · 05/01/2022 18:12

I think it’s when she’s not doing something I’m asked I feel like I’m not a good parent

Turn it around. She’s a whole separate person, she wants to do what she wants to do. Why would she do what you say?

There are very very few children who do what their parents say all the time. Especially at this age. It’s a learning process, it takes years to persuade them that it might be a good idea to listen to you, and even then they still will only do half of what you say, if you’re lucky!

Paq · 05/01/2022 18:26

I get it. I've been there. I imagine most of it is down to lack of sleep and hormones if you have a 6 mo.

Maybe try to anticipate when she's going to be defiant, e.g. bring wellies with you when you pick her up from school so she can splash in puddles. Make a game of the stones - "nooo, don't pick up the stones they have pixie magic and you'll turn into a frog".

But as others have said, don't sweat the small stuff.

SmallElephant · 05/01/2022 18:26

Even though you're trying hard to be different from your dad (by not smacking her), you are still influenced by him more than you may realise. He was a disciplinarian who believed that having a well behaved child made him a good parent (even though it was through fear), so you're judging yourself by the same standards.

BertieBotts · 05/01/2022 19:02

I find this a really hard age. They are testing a lot and I am not naturally very good at boundaries.

The not being listened to is a huge trigger. I definitely feel like a shit parent and then it ends up as a self fulfilling prophecy, oops! I used to get this really awful powerless feeling like I couldn't make him do things I needed him to do and that kind of feeds into a panic and hit all the buttons hoping one of them is the emergency stop kind of reaction. It got better when he grew out of it, I'm afraid to say with that one. But it did get better.

My second one is three now so coming into this age as well, what's helped the most this time is that I have DH around who is really hands on - I was a single parent with DS1 and it was just me. In hindsight, I wasn't very good at being consistent with routines with him. DH is very good with routines and that helps a lot because if DS2 knows that bedtime always goes a certain way, he might complain a bit but he doesn't ultimately fight it. Whereas if we've been a bit slack with teeth brushing for example and then suddenly try to bring that in again all the delaying and resisting tactics come in and I could rage like some kind of dragon. And then once a few days of enforced teeth brushing have happened it's fine again.

The second thing that has helped is the how to talk app. I had read the how to talk book with DS1 and it really helped, but I'd forget everything when I was in that rage trigger state of "I just need you to listen to me". Now when that happens I can just break out my phone and quickly run through the tips (that are reminders from the book, you need to read the book first). This is a total game changer. I've used it several times with my 3yo and it gets us through the situation without me doing any shouting or crying Blush

It might not help in the moment, but another reframe that might be helpful is trying to remember that you cannot control your child's behaviour, indeed it is not your job to control your child's behaviour. The only thing you can control is her environment (to an extent) and your response to her. She is and always will be in control of herself. You can control things like what clothes are available to her, what transport is available to her, who she can see, what TV she is able to watch, etc. But she control things like whether she steps in a puddle, how much and whether she eats, which clothes out of the one she's given to put on, etc. You can guide her and influence her but she is ultimately her own person and that's ok. It's also ok for there to be consequences to her actions. As the adult, that's up to you to decide as part of the guiding and influencing part. That includes natural consequences such as her socks getting wet, or her shoes getting ruined - you can choose to override and protect her from those consequences by physically removing her from the puddle, or you can let her know you're worried about those things and then let her experience them if she really wants to. You might even decide that she needs to use some pocket money to replace the shoes if they are ruined (that is probably a bit much for a 5yo and this situation, but just as an example of how you can use your position as the adult to point out the consequences of something and build on them if necessary).

Worries like not wanting her to spoil her school shoes are valid, but it might be worth thinking whether her shoes are appropriate if they can not cope with a puddle. If she wants to puddle jump, maybe you can bring wellies to school or look at sturdier shoes for next winter.

I agree that it sounds like maybe you need your DH to step up more if you are feeling yourself get ragey with him as well or generally feeling like you are overwhelmed. With a 6mo as well if you are breastfeeding it can be well worth taking a multivitamin for pregnancy and breastfeeding. I was always quite anti any idea that breastfeeding could possibly be harmful but it certainly won't hurt and it might make a positive difference. If it doesn't help, just stop taking them.

Retrievemysanity · 05/01/2022 19:11

My eldest has SEN and when she was younger we really had to work on getting her to listen to us. Playing games like Simon Says or chucking a bit of Lego on the floor and saying ‘can you get me two green bricks’ or seeing as you have a baby, ‘can you get me three nappies’ is great. It helps with bonding too and it’s a fun way of getting them to listen because if all you’re saying is ‘no’, they’ll switch off.

Do you ever find you’re in a negative thought pattern, almost setting her up to fail/anticipating the worst of her? I don’t mean this nastily, just if you’re tired and frustrated then every little thing can become an issue. If it’s rained, go in wellies to school if she likes a little splash.

cherrytopcake · 05/01/2022 19:18

Check out Janet Lansbury OP. Loads of podcasts which completely changed my parenting and has saved my sanity and relationship with daughter. JL can be annoying at times but if you can get past that, she talks a lot of sense. It works for me.

Remember pick your battles! Let things go, don't hold a grudge. She's a child and will want to jump in that puddle, be prepared next time and make sure she's wearing wellies... she wants to pick up the stones ? So what ? Is it that much of a big deal ? I don't think so. Have wipes and hand gel to hand in case hands get mucky. You don't have to let these little things get the better of you! You can do this. Best of luck. X

Embracelife · 05/01/2022 19:40

Stop breathe count to 10
What s the worst that can happen if she carries stones?
If she gets muddy?
Try some cbt sessions ?