Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Mistake at work - panic

33 replies

eyesbiggerthanstomach · 04/01/2022 00:38

I have made a mistake at work and am panicking.

I suffer from depression and have been sectioned in the past. My mind tends to go to dark places and I can blow things up in my head where I feel the only way out is to self harm.

I’m in a bad headspace at the moment anyway.
I struggled looking after my toddler alone and haven’t been resting and generally down.

In terms of the mistake I made, I am a solicitor and my research has shown that what I have done (unintentionally disclosing a court document I shouldn’t have) is contempt of court and could result in imprisonment.

It’s unlikely it will be discovered but it could be at any point in my career. It hasn’t caused any harm to anyone but procedurally it’s something that shouldn’t have been done.

I’m going to speak to a barrister who was working on the case with me but until then I am panicking.

The strange thing is I realised this a few weeks ago but it didn’t seem a big deal. Now in my head it is massive and when that happens it means I can’t see an end. The fact I am in the dark and it’s night makes things seem worse.

I don’t know why I am posting. To vent I guess. But I often think my toddler would be better off with another mum who isn’t so depressed.

OP posts:
Blueeyes91 · 04/01/2022 00:43

Easier said than done. But try not to panic. It sounds like you're doing exactly the right thing in speaking to the barrister about it.

Take some deep breaths. Genuine mistakes happen, I know it's scary now, but just remember you're doing the right thing.

And your kid loves you. No matter whether you're depressed or not, in their eyes you're awesome! You're irreplaceable!

Original poster
eyesbiggerthanstomach · 04/01/2022 00:50

Thank you @Blueeyes91that brought a little tear to my eye

OP posts:
boredsolicitor · 04/01/2022 00:50

I have done exactly this - my mistake was discovered . I hadn't realised the mistake had been made - probably a good thing as I would have panicked too. Was fine in the end - did a grovelling statement apologising to the court for the error and saying what steps would be taken to avoid similar in future - double checking outgoing post / emails etc .
Hope you manage to sort it soon

SarahWoodruff · 04/01/2022 00:51

Hi OP. Sorry for brief reply but I should be asleep! I'm a solicitor and have had to confess a mistake before, and I spun out in a similar way over it. Please speak to your risk/ compliance team, these issues arise and can almost always be sorted out. Honestly is always the best policy and it will stop you feeling so alone. Trying to hide the mistake will be far riskier for your career. Sending empathy your way, I know how stomach-churning it is.

Bogeyes · 04/01/2022 00:51

If you speak to another person...the cat is out the bag. Think hard about it first

Original poster
eyesbiggerthanstomach · 04/01/2022 00:51

Thanks @boredsolicitor I may DM you if that’s okay

OP posts:
LondonQueen · 04/01/2022 00:53

@Bogeyes

If you speak to another person...the cat is out the bag. Think hard about it first
This is terrible advice, it would be far worse if it's discovered further down the line. Not only that the OP will be forever worrying about being caught.
Mediumred · 04/01/2022 00:55

Oh you poor thing but you really sound like you are blowing this out of proportion, it is not the mistake, it is the worrying about the mistake. You have a high pressure job, a toddler and a mental health condition, you need to cut yourself some slack and definitely go back to your GP or mental health team. No way is little one going to be better off with someone else,

Realistically how likely is it you would be imprisoned? Almost statistically impossible. Unless it is something like revealing a DV victim’s address to her abuser (in which case you would be owning up and putting it right as you sound incredibly conscientious) there are unlikely to be adverse consequences it sounds?

The most important thing is this is a wake up call for you to get some help, you are a good solicitor, and a good mother, speak to the barrister and speak to medical staff. It will all seem better after.

Original poster
eyesbiggerthanstomach · 04/01/2022 00:58

Thanks @SarahWoodruff
I appreciate the reply. I know that’s what I ought to do but it’s not something that can be fixed as such or an insurance issue. It could result in contempt of court proceedings being brought. I don’t know how that could be fixed.

OP posts:
DragonMamma · 04/01/2022 01:00

Don’t panic.

Report it to your COLP as soon as you can. Don’t pretend you haven’t seen it or try and hide it - that would be potentially far worse for your career.

Honestly, mistakes happen and solicitors aren’t above cocking up. Be kind to yourself.

Original poster
eyesbiggerthanstomach · 04/01/2022 01:00

Thanks @Mediumred that’s very kind. Even if not imprisoned it could be career ending. I do need to take a step back and get some help.

OP posts:
Original poster
eyesbiggerthanstomach · 04/01/2022 01:03

@DragonMamma thanks. My worry is I have to then notify the court and a report may then be made to the SRA. I can’t see how else it would be fixed as such.

OP posts:
Original poster
eyesbiggerthanstomach · 04/01/2022 01:06

Also I should clarify when I say ‘unintentional disclosure’ I don’t mean it got attached/included in a bundle by accident but more I intentionally sent it to a third party without thinking and then realised it shouldn’t have been sent.

OP posts:
eveoha · 04/01/2022 01:06

Can I DM you - been through similar

Original poster
eyesbiggerthanstomach · 04/01/2022 01:08

@eveoha yes please do.

OP posts:
Hotelhelp · 04/01/2022 01:17

We all make mistakes OP. Whatever the outcome of this you are not a bad person.

I don’t work in law but in a job where sending the wrong thing to the wrong person is a big issue so I absolutely understand that stomach sinking feeling of something like this happening.

You cannot change what’s been done but whatever happens now you will be ok.

episcomama · 04/01/2022 01:31

I've been through something similar, OP, and I know the stomach clenching feeling. In my case it was an error on a template document and I had to contact numerous clients to tell them and fix the error. I was so filled with shame that I was almost suicidal. What struck me was this - without exception, every one of the 20 or so clients was kind, simply grateful that I had corrected the error, and not critical of me at all. You are being harsher to yourself than anyone else would be. This was a mistake, not a deliberate attempt to be contemptuous of court rules. But I am sorry you are so panicked, I remember that terror well.

LessTime · 04/01/2022 01:31

.

Awakewaytoolate · 04/01/2022 01:59

Poor you OP. I remember that sinking feeling well from ck ups when i was a lawyer. I am now a judge and I promise you that nobody is going to send you to prison over this. You need to fess up (pronto) to the other side's sols and the court. Explain exactly how it happened and how you will rectify the situation (if it is capable of being rectified. You will also need to explain the delay in taking action. Everyone makes mistakes. It is the risk of looking like you're trying to cover it up that you need to avert. The judge and sols will moan, you will mea culpa, and that will be that. Nothing to worry about in the slightest. Will all be hot air.

Awakewaytoolate · 04/01/2022 02:00

Ps. I once signed off an email to 15 banking clients with "kind retards" instead of kind regards. Now that was a ck up...

Original poster
eyesbiggerthanstomach · 04/01/2022 02:20

Thanks @Awakewaytoolate. It is reassuring and I have DM’d you.

OP posts:
NotTheGrinchAgain · 04/01/2022 02:53

No advice on your particular work mess up but on the emotional side of it - when you are depressed it is very common to catastrophise.

It sounds likentoh are suffering from burn out. If you are feeling stressed and anxious alongside the depression, you will be physically in poor shape as well as mentally. I have been there, I managed to operate for about ten years like this before I broke and nowadays I cant do a stressful job.

Losing sleep, digestive problems, crying a lot, workaholic, shying away from social contact, losing interest in my physical appearance, eating badly... the list went on and on.

Actually it was the adoration of my DD that saved me. I wanted to be worthy of that love so I made changes. Took a salary cut to do an easier job. Started swimming, gardening, cooking from scratch. Made an effort to make new friends. Things have improved a lot.

Take a deep breath and own up to someone in your workplace what has happened. Taking the burden of secrecy away helps so much. Someone can talk you down from your panic, help you plan steps to limit the damage. It is highly unlikely you will go to prison - hell you can basically get away with anything these days if what I read in the media is true. Why would they want to put a well-meaning person like you, who made a human error, in prison? Just seems extremely unlikely to me.

This can all be solved, but the bigger issues of your anxiety and depression and self-esteem need active attention. Address those, and you will start to see your beautiful self through your toddler's eyes

Original poster
eyesbiggerthanstomach · 04/01/2022 07:31

Thanks @NotTheGrinchAgain

^^Actually it was the adoration of my DD that saved me. I wanted to be worthy of that love so I made changes

This is lovely

OP posts:
KissKissButtCheek · 04/01/2022 08:17

Hi OP, why not have a chat with your compliance officer/supervising partner? I know it seems like the whole world is about to come crashing down on you, but trust me, it won't.

Who was the document disclosed to, is it another professional?

Speak to someone and get it sorted, it really will be OK, maybe a talking to, but we all make mistakes. I work in law and done something similar and after a talking to it was forgotten about and we moved on. It's never happened again in 20+ years. Mistakes are how we learn, and dealing with those mistakes is part of the process.
It really is a horrible feeling, but please talk to someone before this consumes you even more
Big hugs to you x

SlatternIsMyMiddleName · 04/01/2022 08:34

Another solicitor here. I understand that feeling.

I have noticed that males in the profession don’t seem to catastrophize as much, or they hide it better.

Talk to a colleague. Try to keep perspective - which i know is so much easier said than done.