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Original poster

Thoughts on attending friends baby shower 6 weeks postpartum?

44 replies

WilliamsJess · 03/01/2022 13:29

One of my best friends fell pregnant roughly 3 months after I did - she’s due in May whereas I’m due in February. She’s arranged to have a baby shower in March, which means if my little girl comes on her due date, she will only be about 6 weeks old.
Of course I wouldn’t want to miss my best friends baby shower, however she has invited A LOT of people, and the house she is having the shower isn’t very big. With my baby being so little, I wouldn’t feel comfortable in leaving her when she’s that young, not that I don’t trust my partner or anything, it’s just the new Mum brain kicking in. I’m also very cautious about taking my newborn when there’s going to be so many people there, a lot of whom I don’t know, on top of covid still being around.

What are everyone’s thoughts?

OP posts:
CurlsLDN · 03/01/2022 13:32

If you don't want to go then you don't have to. However I don't see any baby related reason not to, you'll be in the swing of it by 6 weeks and will either be ok to leave baby in the care of their other parent for a couple of hours or to take him or her with you to be admired. It's a baby shower - the most chilled, baby friendly event I can think of!

girlmom21 · 03/01/2022 13:33

Honestly I'd just wait and see how you feels

MelonTits · 03/01/2022 13:34

I think covid concerns are valid - I wouldn’t want to be inside a house with loads of folk - but regarding leaving your baby, see how you feel nearer the time. It’s very likely you’ll be feeding a lot and/or being napped on and you won’t be able to go, but at six weeks with my EBF baby, I could get a 90 min - 2 hour nap sometimes, especially if they were in the pushchair. Managed to get my nails done and do a few slow 5km runs whilst DH took charge; I’d have jumped at the chance to go to a baby shower, even for a short time!

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ParkheadParadise · 03/01/2022 13:34

I would make every effort to go to my friends baby shower.

CaMePlaitPas · 03/01/2022 13:36

Do you what you feel is right but after 6 weeks of the newborn grind you'll probably be glad for the company and adult conversation!

Ohpulltheotherone · 03/01/2022 13:38

You don’t have to decide now, just accept the invitation and see how you feel closer to the day.

I went to a friends baby shower when my little one very young (couple of months) and it was nice to get out to be honest.

I don’t think you’re unreasonable for wondering if you’ll be up for it but it is Impossible to know how you will feel. You may be more than happy to get out the house and have a couple of hours to yourself.

And if you don’t, well you can explain that to your friend at the time. Don’t turn the invitation down now based on what you think you’ll feel - without being patronising, you can’t imagine what you’ll feel after a baby until you have the baby!

KL92xxxx · 03/01/2022 13:40

I would go! I was desperate to get out the house after a few weeks but my baby was born in March 2020 so had no chance haha.

If you decide to bring baby maybe put them in their Pram or in a sling so you can really control how close people get if you’re worried. However I’d have happily left my baby with his dad at 6 weeks for a few hours, the break would probably do you good.

HobnobsChoice · 03/01/2022 13:47

If your baby is still quite a new one is there the possibility a lot of the attention will be on you and the baby rather than the mum to be? And if so how is she likely to take that. Some of my friends who have been fine with this, others (the kind who arranged their own baby showers) would absolutely not have wanted to share the moment and have people cooing over a baby and new mum when it was intended as their party!

Original poster
WilliamsJess · 03/01/2022 13:53

I do completely get that, however would she rather I not be there at all? She’s one of my best friends but my baby will always be my priority.

OP posts:
anonanonanon123 · 03/01/2022 13:55

I'm planning on going to a really close friends wedding at the start of June, I'm due mid April. And DP too which means my 6 week old will be going to my mum. Maybe I'm mad for thinking this will be possible 😂😂

CottonSock · 03/01/2022 13:55

I'm not sure taking a newborn to a baby shower is the best idea...

MrsCremuel · 03/01/2022 13:59

I’m breastfeeding my 3 month old and couldn’t have left him at 6 weeks. He won’t take a bottle and feeds frequently due to reflux etc so there are circs where it might be a reach. You’ll have to wait and see I think.

Prescottdanni123 · 03/01/2022 14:09

I'd wait and see how you feel closer to the time.

If you change your mind and decide that you want to go then great, but if you still don't want to attend then that is totally fine as well.

Alfixn · 03/01/2022 15:22

We went to a wedding when my EBF baby was 5 weeks old, with our baby (summer 2021, so during covid). Our breastfeeding journey had been very complicated and I was stressed to my eyeballs for those first 5 weeks, but the wedding turned out to be fabulous and a real chance to relax and enjoy ourselves.

Surely a baby shower is a very casual event, not much different from just visiting a friend's house, albeit with more people there? I would see how you feel a few days prior, tbh I think it's very doable.

MogsBestestFurball · 03/01/2022 15:45

I would hope she would understand why you will need to wait closer to the time to give an answer...and even then, if your baby is not well or kept you up all night you might cancel on the day.

You are both optimistic thinking your babies will both arrive on their due dates! Seems unlikely.

MouseholeCat · 03/01/2022 15:47

I think it's worth waiting to see how you feel. At 6 weeks pp I would have been really excited for an event like this.

margegunderson · 03/01/2022 15:53

Pre-covid, admittedly, I took DD to a posh 40th and a wedding before she was 10 days old. It was lovely to participate and she was fussed over a lot.

mummyh2016 · 03/01/2022 15:55

@ParkheadParadise

I would make every effort to go to my friends baby shower.
This. Why people on MN act as though you shouldn't leave the house after having a baby I will never know.
SNUG2022 · 03/01/2022 15:57

I think it will be good for you, all being well. Ditch the baby for a few hours of freedom. Let loose and have fun!

gogohm · 03/01/2022 16:05

Unless there are covid concerns by then I would not have issues

WorraLiberty · 03/01/2022 16:08

Wait and see how you feel.

Personally I would've (and did) leave the babies with my DH at that age.

HAB86 · 03/01/2022 16:10

I went to a wedding when my first baby was 2 weeks old, it was fab! He was mixed fed so I gave him bottles for the duration but could have breast fed if needed. I did think carefully about what I wore, something that I could feed in and in a dark colour incase of leaks (I was still bleeding at the time).
When they are that young they sleep a lot so he actually slept through the service and the disco later 😂
I would have also been comfortable to leave him with my partner or mum but they were also invited.

declutteringmymind · 03/01/2022 16:10

Just speak to her. Tell her you want to come, baby allowing, and ask her if she would mind if needs be, you can bring baby along, because you really want to come.

ParkheadParadise · 03/01/2022 16:13

My dd stayed overnight with family from 3 weeks old. We went on holiday with friends for my birthday when she was 4 months for a week and my siblings were fighting over who would have her.
It's important to spend time with friends if you have a child or not.

Original poster
WilliamsJess · 03/01/2022 16:21

I’m not saying people shouldn’t leave the house after having babies. I’m concerned because on the ongoing global pandemic and the amount of people there will be in this tiny little house, whilst I have a new born!
Is there any need to mum shame? I understand some people might be happy to leave their young babies with family members, but not everyone will be comfortable with that, especially when they’re still so young.

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