'The Lost Daughter' on Netflix... Does anyone understand it? (*Spoilers)

[NinaDefoe]

Just finished it and I haven't got a clue what just happened!

What was the point of Paul Mescall's character?
What happened to her husband?
What happened to her daughter?
Was she talking to both daughters on the phone at the end?
What was the point of the 'gangster family'?
Why did she steal the doll?
Did she die at the beach?
What was the relevance of the female hiker she kept hugging?

So many questions.
Did anyone actually understand it? I don't think I could bear to watch it again.

I watched it today, it was so weird and I didn't realise that was the woman from 50 shades, what's her name, Dakota, how different did she look!!!!!

I didn't even notice her... I don't know what I just watched :D

It has been widely hailed as a masterpiece in acting and directing but I thought it was slooooow and boring. I can see aesthetically it’s done very well but there’s not much plot as it were.
But it’s based on a novel and I think this sort of meditative, ponderous narrative is the writer’s style by some reviews of the book ( I had to go and Google the novelist and the book after )
The novel ends differently to the book but both novel and film are supposed to end ambiguously.

I thigh Jess Buckley did a great job in portraying someone not especially likeable and whose almost disgust of her own children and her denouncing her maternal role was sort of horrific to witness but also relatable. It’s an aspect of the female experience we don’t often see. What happens when women hate being mothers?

So maybe it was less boring than i thought actually. I’m thinking about it!

The scene with the hikers was odd, think it was to justify her leaving the children to make herself happy, as that's what the male hiker did, so why shouldn't a woman.
It felt really sinister didn't it, Toni especially, and the scene at the cinema.
As for the doll, it was like she stole it on purpose to cause more issues for Nina, maybe like a resentment thing, I dread to think what the brown liquid was and the weird insect that crawled out of its mouth 🤢

I think both her daughters were fine, and I don't think she died, I just couldn't marry up the flashbacks with her present, the young Leda looked nothing like her which didn't help!

I didn’t think paul mescal was very good at all. He seemed to just be playing Connell abroad. Same mannerisms and halting speech style.

I think both her daughters were fine, and I don't think she died, I just couldn't marry up the flashbacks with her present, the young Leda looked nothing like her which didn't help

I think you're right. I just got the impression we were watching events from the perspective of someone mentally ill - which is interesting if true.

I just kept thinking the whole way through it like people just don't get on like this, in real life. They don't say things like that, or do those things, all seemed very contrived, even the sex scene between her and her husband, just weird.

I think the family were obviously from a criminal background. You could tell they were meant to be ‘Mafia’ style. The writer is Italian.
I guess the expectation was that there would be some big dramatic confrontation that never materialised but it was actually just there to create that constant sense of unease and unrest and the conflict with Nina and the doll etc was the catalyst for her to confront her own past

But it’s interesting isn’t it?
Do we think she’s mentally ill because she stole the doll or because we see her as someone thoroughly unlikeable and because she abandoned her children for 3 years which to most is seen as a monstrous act?

I agree a lot of the conversations seemed contrived. Don’t think Dakota Johnson was all that good

No she's not a great actress, I didn't get why she was so fascinated by the Leda character, she wasn't particularly interesting other than staring constantly at Nina so why did Nina gravitate towards her, I didn't get that at all.

How she felt about being a mother did resonate with me, that pull toward your children but the desire for freedom, the what ifs etc. definitely more intense when children are young and so dependent.

I didnt find her unlikeable but the stealing of the doll was very odd. She's a woman who couldn't cope with and resented the demands of motherhood so chose to leave. Men do it everyday so I'm glad this captured a woman instead. I think the interactions with the different male characters were to show her oddness e.g. the inappropriate conversation about breast size.

@Roadhouse111

I just kept thinking the whole way through it like people just don't get on like this, in real life. They don't say things like that, or do those things, all seemed very contrived, even the sex scene between her and her husband, just weird.

I agree! If I were to go on holiday on my own (I am a frumpy middle aged woman like the Olivia Coleman character) I would be invisible.

I doubt I would be eating lunch with someone half my age within days of arriving (like the handsome Paul Mescal character).
Or being brought freshly caught octopus to eat by local men.

I am astounded at all the 5 star reviews this film has got. I even saw it called the best film of 2021. I was so disappointed by it. Slow, confusing, unnatural dialogue, weird atmosphere. I know everyone seems to love Olivia Colman, but I don't get the hype.
Loved My Brilliant Friend, based on novels by the same writer, Elena Ferrante, but this....just no!

@Faffandahalf

But it’s interesting isn’t it? Do we think she’s mentally ill because she stole the doll or because we see her as someone thoroughly unlikeable and because she abandoned her children for 3 years which to most is seen as a monstrous act?

I agree a lot of the conversations seemed contrived. Don’t think Dakota Johnson was all that good

Mentally ill on holiday.

The impatience, frustration she felt towards her children when she was a young mum got worse and worse. The more she pushed them away the clingier they became and the clingier they got the more frustrated and trapped she felt.
It just spiraled. I didn't see this as mental illness, more a situation out of control.

I think she dies at the end (foreshadowed by the vertigo and the faintings) and the phonecall at the end is her ‘heaven’ where she has normality and is finally relevant to her daughters (having been forgiven by them). Just my interpretation though.

Yes, I'm more inclined to think she was physically ill throughout the holiday. Do the confused flashbacks relate to that?
Interesting idea that the phone call at the end wasn't real - more of a hallucination?

I loved it. I think it captured the suffocation of mothering young children brilliantly. Both OC and JB acting was pitch perfect for me - the sharp regret of OC and the way the flashbacks were woven in was brilliant.

The low level bullying by the Italian American group was perfect too - how a group can take over and how it affects a single woman. A woman who isn't afraid to speak up. Exceptional in many many ways.

Written and directed and acted by women - in so many insightful ways what men Cabot achieve.

I'll be watching it again.

The fact that a viewer is left with questions, or at least things to ponder over, is a large part of the ‘point’ of the narrative!

What was the point of Paul Mescall's character?
I’d say the point of both the waiter and the caretaker was to show how useless Leda was at human interaction. She was constantly wrong-footed because she misjudged what other people meant by their actions.

What happened to her husband?
They broke up.

What happened to her daughter?
She had two daughters.

Was she talking to both daughters on the phone at the end?
She was speaking to one, iirc.

What was the point of the 'gangster family'?
A constant atmosphere of threat. Which put Leda on edge and meant Nina appeared vulnerable and trapped.

Why did she steal the doll?
Because she was partly held in the moment when she abandoned her daughters. She was, to me, trying to reprise the unconditional loving care she deprived her daughters of. But also getting revenge on the Italian family for disrupting her calm holiday.

Did she die at the beach?
No. It might be said she was cleansed / re-born by her night on the shore after the ‘punishment’ of the accidental stabbing.

What was the relevance of the female hiker she kept hugging?
Ok - there’s probably a connection to Dante’s ‘Paradise Lost’, which I will have missed - but essentially, she had been doing her best to be a perfect mother because that was what she believed the world … needed. The hikers showed her the world was already broken - and no one had died - so there was no requirement for her to continue the facade.

I’ll probably have better answers tomorrow - still musing on it!

I cannot accept that the intention was to kill her off at the end. For what - being a mother who temporarily refused motherhood? Hardly a strong feminist message for such a female led film.

So I prefer my interpretation.

I’ve already said on the other thread how much I admired this film. But the adaptation of My Brilliant Friend tore my heart out.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/films/4440604-The-Lost-Daughter?msgid=113795395

She was speaking to both daughters on the beach. There were two voices in the phone (and in my subs!)

I think OC and JB are great actresses. I don’t think the film was especially riveting. It is one of those movies where ‘nothing happens’ deliberately because it’s all about internal crises and reflections but apart from the JB flashbacks I thought the rest of it was just meh. It all seemed a bit random and illogical. I couldn’t imagine the Italian American family wanting to holiday there tbh!

(Ah … New Year’s Eve & !)