'The Lost Daughter' on Netflix... Does anyone understand it? (*Spoilers)

[NinaDefoe]

Just finished it and I haven't got a clue what just happened!

What was the point of Paul Mescall's character?
What happened to her husband?
What happened to her daughter?
Was she talking to both daughters on the phone at the end?
What was the point of the 'gangster family'?
Why did she steal the doll?
Did she die at the beach?
What was the relevance of the female hiker she kept hugging?

So many questions.
Did anyone actually understand it? I don't think I could bear to watch it again.

I just watched it and I didn’t get it. What is it trying to say? If she is not dead and really is happily chatting away with her daughters at the end, then it’s like it’s saying there’s no harm done, it’s OK to abandon your kids, they’ll be fine.

I also felt like everyone stared at and spoke to each other in such an unnatural way, it always seemed like something sinister was about to happen but then didn’t end up going anywhere.

I watched it last night, I'm really glad for this thread to help me understand it all!

I really enjoyed it but found it quite strange / spooky throughout, I kept thinking it was going to take a more sinister turn.

I found it very upsetting when she peeled the orange and then literally just walking out on the kids with them crying 'where are you going mama??'

I think she died at the end, and that's when she found her peace.

Good points about beardy professor judging her, and that she probably worked at Harvard. I hadn't picked up on either of those things.

Fascinatingly, this thread is active this morning:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/parenting/4444914-How-long-will-I-struggle-for-creative-time?msgid=113946432

I thought it best not to direct the OP to the film …

I think also that production would have been easier in Greece as their Covid restrictions were/are much looser than Italy's.

We’re all agreed that practically everything in the film, from fir cones to hatpins, is symbolic on at least one theme - and all the behaviour of the minor characters is pretty archetypal.

I feel like drawing a map. ‘Mothering: The universe’ (warning: Here Be Dragonnes)

Such an achievement to wedge so much in to two hours. Love it.

(Scrolling back over comments I made earlier I found a renegade apostrophe, which has cast me down …)

It is a great achievement - but the turning of monologues into conversations, while making the narrative more dynamic, does have the effect of making Leda seem more strange than she might otherwise have been. Much of what she said to Will over their dinner was only silent musing, at a different time, in the book!

Any other insights from reading the book @literaLLYknowsbest? Realistically I'm unlikely to get around to reading it myself!

I’ve just started watching it again!

So far... everything that should be relaxing or nice has turned out not to be.
One disappointment after another.
She almost accepts it.
The lovely room - the foghorn
The secluded beach - invaded by party family
The display of fruit - rotten
The crisp white cotton bedsheets - horrible big beetle.

When she was walking back from the beach a twig cracked behind her and she turned to see if anyone was there.
I think the pinecone (was it a pinecone or a stone?) was thrown with some force by someone as it hit her top middle of her back.
She immediately looked up and assumed it was accidental - a pinecone fallen from the tree. It would have hit her head or shoulder if it had come from above.

The peaceful holiday she is craving is out of reach - things go wrong for her at every turn.
Other people/ things invade her space!

Watched this last night. I loved it as it was so character-driven resulting in exceptional acting.

I felt every bit of awkwardness at any of the confrontations OC had with the other family. Made me anxious seeing them all turn up at the beach for the birthday party. Loved that OC's shots were in the shade and the family in the brightness when she first sees the family arrive on the beach. i think to show that she feels on the outside and has never felt that same liveliness/excitement associated with family?

OC had some sort of mental illness. I think she is an extremely lonely woman desperate for some sort of human connection but doesn't allow herself to get close/needs to control everything in an interaction.

I think she sees herself in the DJ character which is why she forms such a strong connection with her.

Loved that it left me with so many questions at the end.

Really liked it!

Love this thread!

The pine cone (big seed, right) and the rotted fruit I thought were metaphors for disappointment/pain derived from motherhood/fertility? Like you think you’ll get a beautiful adoring baby and at some stage they all end up doing that really soul destroying whinging cry at you (would have loved to see the directions the child actors got!)

Having read this I do agree she probably died but when I thought she hadn’t died I thought the ease of conversation with the daughters was to show how pervasive the mother/child bond was. In the same way Leda spoke fondly of her mother, her daughters probably would too.

The hiker I thought she was starting to muse on the path she didn’t take and seeing the hiker as an alt reality version of herself.

@NinaDefoe

I’ve just started watching it again!

So far... everything that should be relaxing or nice has turned out not to be.
One disappointment after another.
She almost accepts it.
The lovely room - the foghorn
The secluded beach - invaded by party family
The display of fruit - rotten
The crisp white cotton bedsheets - horrible big beetle.

When she was walking back from the beach a twig cracked behind her and she turned to see if anyone was there.
I think the pinecone (was it a pinecone or a stone?) was thrown with some force by someone as it hit her top middle of her back.
She immediately looked up and assumed it was accidental - a pinecone fallen from the tree. It would have hit her head or shoulder if it had come from above.

The peaceful holiday she is craving is out of reach - things go wrong for her at every turn.
Other people/ things invade her space!

Yess! And the lighthouse! Mothers are lighthouses. Lonely and constantly vigilant

6 if us watched it new years day , none of us got it and all thought we wasted 2 hrs and my mum is never picking the film again

I watched it and asked my husband if he had any idea what the theme was?

His response: How relentlessly hard and lonely motherhood is for many women.

I appreciated he got that and I have enjoyed mothering for the most part.

Interesting read on Google reviews!

Jo dP
5 days ago

SPOILER ALERT: The characters are shallow and stereotyped, and the main character, Leda, is a selfish, arrogant narcissist. I had zero empathy for her and her lack of caring or consideration for children or anyone but herself. She seemed to excuse herself from her crimes with the declaration "I'm an unnatural mother". Perhaps if the film had bothered to reveal Leda's backstory (beyond the mid-argument quip made to her cuckolded husband about her own terrible mother) she might have been a little likable/understandable.

I thought for a moment it was a narrative about the challenges of juggling career & motherhood (especially in the anti-mother world of academia), but then it seemed to be more about gender equality to neglect, abandon & abuse children. Maddening how she just expected to be accepted (or what?) after leaving her very young children for 3 years, and later in life, stealing a child's doll, then keeping it while nonchalantly observing the pain caused by its loss. So what if the family were obnoxious brutes, the child mattered.

Also, so much footage wasted on the sloth-like Leda driving or doing nothing when character development of other interesting figures like that of Ed Harris could have been explored.

And what happened in the closing scene? Does she crash the car or just pull over? Is she drunk or dying from the bleeding hatpin stab, one of which causes her collapse at the tideline? And if the latter is so, how does she wake up with her cellphone and then transition to a cheery call with her daughters? This film made no sense & has no point. A waste of time, beautiful settings & the talents of gifted actors.
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I’m enjoying watching second time round and taking my time over it!

Determined to make sense of it! 🤣

I can’t stop thinking about this film. What do people make of the fact that Leda definitely thinks the pregnant woman already has children?? In the scene in the shop?

@Montecristocount

I can’t stop thinking about this film. What do people make of the fact that Leda definitely thinks the pregnant woman already has children?? In the scene in the shop?

Her age. Did she say it was her 42nd Birthday on the beach? Did she also assume she was the grandmother of the little girl with the doll (because of the way she fussed over her on the beach? She told the girl’s mother to cover her up and hurried over). I think Leda assumed it was Grandma, daughter and granddaughter. I did!

I can’t stop thinking about it either!
Not sure why it’s gripped me so much!
I’m still figuring it out!

@Montecristocount

I can’t stop thinking about this film. What do people make of the fact that Leda definitely thinks the pregnant woman already has children?? In the scene in the shop?

In the toy shop?

I interpreted that as more of a passive aggressive comment. OC character was basically saying the woman can't know yet what it's like as she's not a mother yet (I'm sure the pregnant character already told her earlier that this was her first, when they originally met on the beach). I think OC becomes increasingly frustrated with this woman throughout the film acting like a know it all about parenting and demeaning the DJ character when she hasn't had first hand experience of motherhood yet.

Ahh right thanks! I need to watch again. I thought there was going to be some big back story with the pregnant woman then it never materialised.

I watched it and actually felt quite cheated at the end. Some good performances but I found the story terrible. It's the sort of dodgy art film that will win oscars though.

I am enjoying this thread! I had an idea that it was an analogy of all the dangerous people around her, and perhaps herself as well. I thought Ed was creepy, letting himself into her flat. She had several warnings:- first from the young barman; secondly when shouting at the youths she was told to go home; when the old guy saw the doll; when the barman asked to use her flat; the last two warnings to give the doll back, the last visit from Nina was the last warning. She didn’t notice or take note of the danger around her.

The rotten bowl of fruit was an analogy for the dangerous people around her

I do think it’s interesting that it’s provoked such a strong reaction in that review upthread. We very rarely see unrepentant, unapologetic women on screen, particularly not middle-aged ones. And middle-aged white women are seen as fair targets these days. Though also wanting to see more from the man you find interesting, when he’s done pretty much the same thing as the main female character, is quite revealing imo.