Do you hold a Professional qualification but ‘under employed’?

[WhatNowBernadette]

Hi all, I’m a regular but name changed. Might be a bit serious for ‘chat’ but here goes.

Background:
I have two DC aged 17 and 20 who have had significant MH challenges over the past five years, despite having (on paper) a great start in life. Issues have involved (teenage) sexual trauma, earring disorder, self harm and overdoses.

I’m late forties and have not worked for six months since resigning when my DC took an overdose. They are now doing well and on paper I feel I should be ready to apply for new jobs.

However, whether it’s peri menopause or some sort of burn out from the above, I now feel absolutely terrified and overwhelmed by the thought of applying for a job with a high level of responsibility. It’s as if even the idea of work stress is stressing me out! I have three postgraduate qualifications and am professionally qualified within two fields but I just feel that I can’t cope with the stress or the worry of having to abandon a caseload of clients if something went wrong with my DC again.

The only jobs I feel even slightly drawn to are really badly paid jobs in social care. However, I am really struggling with feelings of professional failure and associated low self esteem linked to taking a minimum wage job. I feel simultaneously furious with society for undervaluing these jobs and also annoyed with myself for feeling this way about applying for these roles myself.

Has anyone made their peace with leaving their profession for a much lower paid job or got any advice?

Tia x

• eating disorder! Not earring!

With regards to applying for jobs think like a man

Did you know a huge percentage of men apply for jobs they are under qualified for or don’t have a lot of experience in and get them!! Where women aim lower and less paid, so think like a man and apply higher than your worth.

I'm a qualified teacher and have been in this profession for the past decade. However, since having DC2 2 years ago and with everything going on, I have been working remotely in customer service. Its minimum wage and stressful, but I've now been with this company for long enough to switch to hours that work for me and I get to spend more time with DCs.
I don't think you should go for jobs if they're going to damage your self esteem like that, isn't there anything available where you can compromise on this? So maybe something where the pay isn't utter shit but still something you're drawn to and doesn't stress you out?
It can feel hard some days, but I will always put family time over my career - in my opinion as long as I have an income, then that's all I need really! I sacrificed a lot for the sake of work and I don't really want to do that anymore.

@NoNameHere12 my issue is being overqualified ;)

If you are looking to progress career wise then I second @nonamehere12

I’m comedically overqualified for the part time role I’m in and grossly underpaid for the hours I work (it’s a low hourly rate anyway and I typically (voluntarily) work double my paid hours, so actually take home a lot less than minimum wage). In every other respect though, it’s a great job for me. It’s rewarding; it feels like I’m making a difference; I’m genuinely passionate about the work I do; I have a lot of autonomy to make decisions about the way things are done; there’s no commute; my hours fit around family life well; I like the people I work with; my work environment is lovely. Money isn’t everything, and as long as you can cover basic expenses, it’s fine to accept that other things are more important to you.
Occasionally, I remind myself that I once earned in an afternoon what I now earn in a couple of months, but I wouldn’t want to go back to my old job. Doing that work then is part of why I can afford to do this work now, but I’m much happier doing what I’m doing now.

I'm qualified for a very specific profession. I gave it up a few years ago and work in a mid-level admin job. I struggled to get anyone to interview me until I signed up with a few agencies. They were able to speak to the companies recruiting and explain I left my profession through choice and was deliberately looking for an admin job, not just a stop gap.

I'm a qualified solicitor and qualified teacher and have spent the last year at home. 2x dc 16 and 18 but both have "issues" and it leaves me feeling emotionally exhausted even when I'm not at work. I think things might be different if I had neurotypical kids. I taught part time and would not even consider full time. I'm actually thinking of applying for a PT librarian job. I don't think you need to feel pressured. Just do whatever suits you and your family. But if you're not applying due to lack of confidence then think of this: Donald Trump was the president of the USA! Boris Johnson is PM! Seriously, if that pair of utterly incompetent buffoons can do that then we women can do anything. I've worked with so many useless, incompetent men with power, it's scary. It's all about self belief and expectations.

I'm not sure I've made my peace with it yet, but I'm totally over qualified for my current job (like Alevels preferred, and I'm MSc). But it's money, pension, pretty much term time only, and I'm pretty good at it, so the compliments are good for my (battered) self esteem. Who knows where it might lead.

@DaisyDozyDee, I’m really intrigued to know what you do for a living!

@Goldandguns very interesting to hear about your life as an ex teacher but I’m really confused as to how my OP has given two posters the impression that I want career progression lol!

Some people obviously just read (or misread) the thread title.

I didn’t leave my profession completely but I did step back and take a lower paid/lower grade wfh role. I don’t regret it for a second. I’m early 50’s and for various reasons I just couldn’t handle the stress and responsibility anymore. I don’t feel bad about it. I made the right choice for me at the time. I do occasionally get a little feeling of maybe guilt? That I am not working to my “full potential”. Usually when I get an email from a former colleague and I see they have been promoted while I took a step back. But then I just remember why I did it and how easy my life is now and I soon shrug it off. I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I value my health above all else and stress can have some awful effects on health. I love my life now and I can’t say the same was true when I worked in my former role, even if the pay was better.

@OldWivesTale I can relate to so much of what you have said. It’s not a lack of confidence per se, but my confidence has been undermined recently by life throwing me so many curve balls (linked to the DC).
@InTheLabyrinth I want to know what you do for a living, now!

Just re read your OP and realise your dc also have had mental health issues. Do not underestimate how utterly fucking exhausting this is for you. You will be doing all of the emotional work for this and it leaves you feeling drained. It's completely normal that you are reluctant to apply for stressful jobs when you already have the most stressful job in the world - supporting a child with mental health problems.

I'm qualified to postgrad level, but I have never had a permanent job and I'm 43.

I am a qualified primary teacher, but I do a clerical job now. I have lifelong depression, anxiety and a CFS/ME diagnosis, so there have been several spells in my life when I have either not been able to work at all or only part-time. When I felt well enough to work full-time, I decided to retrain for office work.

Two years ago I did a temporary call-centre job for a couple of months, and there were at least 7-10 ex-teachers working there at the same time. All of us thought a temporary job earning £9 an hour in a call centre was still better than teaching.

Thank you @OldWivesTale. That’s very true.

I also want to apologise for my post above- maybe people did read my OP…Perhaps I didn’t make it clear enough that I no longer want a high responsibility job rather than simply feeling that I’m not up to it

I have made my peace with it because we live in a screwed up society that values all the wrong things and often pays the most money to the least valuable jobs and vice versa. I know - and we all know now since Covid- that social carers, shelf stackers, drivers, cleaners- are just as important and often more important to society than lots of high powered bollocksy jobs. They are just paid less which of course needs to change.

Yes. I'm a qualified health professional. I left after a serious health diagnosis when my DC were very young (4&2) as I just couldn't juggle everything anymore.

My partner at the time (now ex) was very unhappy with me about it but it was 100% the right decision for me and us as a family.

I didn't work for about a year (ish) then took a part time job in a totally different field with very little responsibility. The pay was about half my previous hourly rate but I enjoyed it and was happy.

I did that for 5 years and then went self employed last year.

I occasionally feel a weird pang of guilt over the fact I'm not doing what I'm trained to do (which in society is valued much higher than what I currently do) but then I remind myself of the stress and anxiety and the effect my previous job had on family life with shift work etc and that nips it in the bud.

Hope you're able to find that balance you're looking for.

I have a masters & work in an ancillary role at a care home.

Whilst my role is essential to the wellbeing of the residents its not time essential in that I can work completely flexibly. It works for me and I am not upset at being over qualified - I do it because I want to not because I need to.

But nearly every other job in social care is not like mine for flexibility.

You will develop quickly a sense of responsibility for your clients - these are societies most vulnerable and they depend on you! You cant just quickly 'drop a case load' if required without dropping a lot of people in it.

If you want a no strings job have you considered agency or bank work?

I applied for a 'demoted' position in my workplace which I've biw been doing for 2 months and it's great. Still a but stressful but I can now switch off when I leave the office. I'm lucky asmy mortgage is paid so its easier to have a smaller income.

Also, I had cancer 5 years ago and was told initially that it was terminal. Contemplating death certainly helps you to prioritise what matters in life. You are prioritising your mental wellbeing and that of your children. Even though they are "grown up" they will still need you and you cannot pour from an empty cup. Look after yourself.

I'm a qualified teacher and my job is a mix of call centre and customer service emails. Low pay and can be stressful but I'm not going back to teaching!

Wow so many of us (and its so often teaching isnt it). I would love to be a part time psychologist or OT but cant do the full time training to get there. I think I will do library work eventually.

It seems so all or nothing in trying to find any work which isnt 10-12 an hour!!