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Original poster

When you have children you’ll need X. Discuss…

37 replies

PurBal · 30/12/2021 15:47

Please share the pearls of wisdom people have shared that are absolute baloney.

I’ll start: you can’t have children unless you own an SUV. Obviously this is crap, though I appreciate most people have bigger cars than us (3 door Mini Cooper). I can do a full weekly shop and put it all the boot, no problem. I can put the pushchair in the boot, no problem. If I have the pushchair with me when I do the shop, half the shopping goes on the back seat. Annoying but doable. We are looking for a bigger car, eg Golf / Focus type thing, just so I don’t have to climb over the front seat to put DS in the back. When I mentioned this to the wise old owl I was told I obviously hadn’t been on holiday with DS because a hatchback isn’t big enough. The three of us have been away for multiple nights, with a travel cot, in our car. I will admit packing is like a game of Tetris but it’s completely doable.

Thank you for letting me rant. Anyone else?

OP posts:
PotteringAlong · 30/12/2021 15:51

But you don’t have children. You have a child. And, you’ve said yourself, you’re looking to buy a bigger car so the wise old owl is probably not so daft.

CiaoForDiNiaoSaur · 30/12/2021 15:53

"You can't have children unless you have a car." You can and I do.

"You can't have children if your income is less than 50k" (according to my cousin)
You can and I do.

smurfsss · 30/12/2021 15:53

We don't even own a car 🤷🏼‍♀️ 2 kids!

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Families
TheWildHunt · 30/12/2021 15:55

3 kids and no car at all here.

MotherWol · 30/12/2021 15:56

The sheer number of people who think you have to have a house with a garden, and a big car. I’m not just managing in a flat, with public transport, I prefer it this way.

CremeEggThief · 30/12/2021 15:57

You can't have children unless they are planned, you have savings, have a mortgage, a car and a permanent job.🙄

Anyone who believes or thinks that can fuck off. Some of the worst parents I know have all the above and much more and some of the best parents have none of those things.

Xmasiscancelledagain · 30/12/2021 15:58

I'm with you on the needing a 4x4. We had two kids in a VW polo. The biggest car we've had is a Honda civic. I never took the buggy when food shopping. You just get a trolley with a baby seat in it surely.

MN has a weird obsession about siblings being scarred for life but having to share a room. My DC have shared for the last six years and coped just fine. I'm sure when they're teenagers they will want their own privacy for secret teenager type things. But it means one of then has to get the chappy box room.

Xmasiscancelledagain · 30/12/2021 15:58

*crappy box room even

SleepingStandingUp · 30/12/2021 15:59

@PotteringAlong

But you don’t have children. You have a child. And, you’ve said yourself, you’re looking to buy a bigger car so the wise old owl is probably not so daft.
There kids, no car. Perfectly doable and yes we go on holiday
ChristmasRobins · 30/12/2021 15:59

You can’t have children if you live in London.

Original poster
PurBal · 30/12/2021 16:00

@PotteringAlong the wise owl has one child a few months older than DS. And it’s specifically an SUV they meant as they said they couldn’t consider an estate as would be too small so not a generically bigger car (because no it’s not daft that a bigger car would be easier) but there are so many people who can and do manage, saying “you can’t” isn’t correct.

OP posts:
sjxoxo · 30/12/2021 16:03

I have a convertible beetle and nothing fits in it 🤣🤣🤣 I will be taking DH’s SUV!

On a serious note, baby due in Jan, suggestions I’ve had/deliveries arrived but ordered by other people:

  • a plastic baby bath on a stand (is there a more ugly piece of equipment in existence?) I have a little support seat, 2 big sinks and a bath already so that’s totally unnecessary, bulky and horrible looking
  • nipple shells.. I still don’t know what these are really for! When I thanked the person who sent them, she said ‘I hope you won’t need them!’ Which confused me even more!?
  • 827263849362618 items of baby clothing in 0-3 months. I thought a few multipacks of vests & same again in sleepsuits would suffice! He only has one chest of drawers.. who knew he’d need a full blown wardrobe 😂
  • ‘proper’ trousers. I don’t think anyone other than men over 70 find corduroy trousers comfortable, I don’t know why they bother even making such a fussy item of clothing for a tiny baby boy! Adding a jumper or hat with bear ears on still makes the trousers impractical..

On the opposite side of the coin, things I’m already finding useful that only one person suggested:

  • felt nappy caddies from eBay that I can stock up with baby paraphernalia and put in bedroom/bathrooms/lounge etc
  • Milton cold water steriliser (ingeniosly simple)
  • cat nets. Now I initially poo-pooed this but my cats are convinced the crib & carry cot are their Xmas gifts.. cat nets absolutely essential if you have kitties!!!

xo

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 30/12/2021 16:05

Have thermometers for everything- room, bath etc- oh and tommee Tippee bottle maker- two children down and never needed either

PotteringAlong · 30/12/2021 16:06

On a better note, this was the single most useful thing that I had for all 3 of mine…

www.tuppenceandcrumble.com/fleece-baby-star-wrap-classics?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIlsKexvOL9QIVC6h3Ch1xcgDCEAQYASABEgIXMPD_BwE

PotteringAlong · 30/12/2021 16:07

I don’t know why my post has been hidden - it was a link to a tuppence and crumble star wrap which was the single most useful thing I had for all 3 of mine when they were small!

BooksAndGin · 30/12/2021 16:07

You can't have children if you have a chronic illness. It's selfish.

Yes, someone actually said that to me! HmmAngry

That said I survived 8 years of children with no car it's doable. I'm thinking of ditching my car again and using buses/trains. Grin Fuck the 4X4s!

Waftypants · 30/12/2021 16:09

The sheer ineptitude of some people to cope without a big car baffles me. And most of them don't seem to be able to park properly Grin

TheWildHunt · 30/12/2021 16:14

You can't have children unless they are planned, you have savings, have a mortgage, a car and a permanent job.

Ours were planned and we had savings - permant job came after first and that was several jobs ago, mortgage after second and went through savings - and they are teens and still no car. We've still done hoildays.

I do think people can be very rigid what they think needs to be in place but most people manage. TBH when kids are young it's often worse social pressure from other parents to do what they are doing/have done as if that validates their choices somehow or they honestly believe it best or only way.

Mackmama · 30/12/2021 16:16

You’ll also need a travel system that cost upwards of £1000! A second hand one from eBay just won’t do!

I really resent all the things marketed at expectant parents as being essential and it maddens me even further that some people really buy into it all and then use the fact that they have x,y and z to try to make others that don’t feel rubbish.

I work in some quite deprived communities and when you hear about the conditions that some children are living in it makes a mockery of it all.

eagerlywaitingfor · 30/12/2021 16:19

A top and tail bowl. Neither use nor ornament.

gerbo · 30/12/2021 16:23

So true. We had our first baby happily living in our 1 bed flat for a year, in London, she just tucked neatly in her cot at the foot of the bed and I loved it!! So cosy. Loved that flat.

First car was a second hand Corsa, all was well. Took us to France and back, camping, with daughter. No problem.

In a small 3 bed house now, cosy and happy. In my middle class commuter town people seem to think you need at least 5 bedrooms and an acre of garden to survive. Er, no! Postage stamp garden, and small neat house. We couldn't be happier!

I do think you're told you need a shed load of baby paraphernalia (nappy bin, anyone?) too, and a posh 'travel system' pram. Again, no. Minimal is better, easier, cheaper, less cluttered.

lljkk · 30/12/2021 16:23

With 2 kids at home & 2 adults away... My dad insists more than ever that I must 'need' an SUV. My middle DS is 6'2" so he could have a point... except I drive a Fiat 500 which is fine for 99% of my driving!

Harlequin1088 · 30/12/2021 16:28

I’m pregnant with my first and in amongst all the crappy advice of what I “need” before I have a child, my friend came out with this pearl of wisdom -

“If everyone waited until the “right” time to have a baby, the human race would’ve died out long ago”

And it’s true. You can hold off having kids because you don’t have the right car, right house, haven’t got that promotion yet, haven’t saved several thousands into you ISA, etc. but if you do that, you’ll likely find yourself on your deathbed still without having got round to having the kids you desperately wanted.

Longcovid21 · 30/12/2021 16:28

I have 2dc. Just got an electric suv. Best decision ever. I am quite tall though so a mini would cripple me.

ViceLikeBlip · 30/12/2021 16:32

I've got a massive 7 seater.... but I've also got 4 kids, so you've probably got more free space in yours than I do! (shopping often has to go at the kids' feet 🤦‍♀️)