When you have children you’ll need X. Discuss…

[PurBal]

Please share the pearls of wisdom people have shared that are absolute baloney.

I’ll start: you can’t have children unless you own an SUV. Obviously this is crap, though I appreciate most people have bigger cars than us (3 door Mini Cooper). I can do a full weekly shop and put it all the boot, no problem. I can put the pushchair in the boot, no problem. If I have the pushchair with me when I do the shop, half the shopping goes on the back seat. Annoying but doable. We are looking for a bigger car, eg Golf / Focus type thing, just so I don’t have to climb over the front seat to put DS in the back. When I mentioned this to the wise old owl I was told I obviously hadn’t been on holiday with DS because a hatchback isn’t big enough. The three of us have been away for multiple nights, with a travel cot, in our car. I will admit packing is like a game of Tetris but it’s completely doable.

Thank you for letting me rant. Anyone else?

@sjxoxo

I have a convertible beetle and nothing fits in it 🤣🤣🤣 I will be taking DH’s SUV!

On a serious note, baby due in Jan, suggestions I’ve had/deliveries arrived but ordered by other people:

• a plastic baby bath on a stand (is there a more ugly piece of equipment in existence?) I have a little support seat, 2 big sinks and a bath already so that’s totally unnecessary, bulky and horrible looking
• nipple shells.. I still don’t know what these are really for! When I thanked the person who sent them, she said ‘I hope you won’t need them!’ Which confused me even more!?

• 827263849362618 items of baby clothing in 0-3 months. I thought a few multipacks of vests & same again in sleepsuits would suffice! He only has one chest of drawers.. who knew he’d need a full blown wardrobe 😂
• ‘proper’ trousers. I don’t think anyone other than men over 70 find corduroy trousers comfortable, I don’t know why they bother even making such a fussy item of clothing for a tiny baby boy! Adding a jumper or hat with bear ears on still makes the trousers impractical..

On the opposite side of the coin, things I’m already finding useful that only one person suggested:

• felt nappy caddies from eBay that I can stock up with baby paraphernalia and put in bedroom/bathrooms/lounge etc
• Milton cold water steriliser (ingeniosly simple)
• cat nets. Now I initially poo-pooed this but my cats are convinced the crib & carry cot are their Xmas gifts.. cat nets absolutely essential if you have kitties!!!

xo

@sjxoxo you use nipple shields if your nipples get damaged (cracks, bleeding) because for whatever reason the baby isn’t latching well. They provide a protective barrier and can provide a bit of respite whilst you heal. So hopefully you won’t need them, but for the sake of a couple of quid, they are a useful thing to have in a cupboard, because it will be Sod’s law that you resort to using them at 2 o clock in the middle of the night.

Best of luck with your babe!

@eagerlywaitingfor

A top and tail bowl. Neither use nor ornament.

DD will presumably be scarred for life, but we have an old yoghurt pot (one of the 1 litre round ones) that is used for the tail part, and has been pretty much since she was born - we use flannels for (most) nappy changes so we do need some sort of bowl to dampen them - and the sink's not in the most convenient location.

I bought, but didn't need, nursing tops, even though she was EBF. I found pulling up my t-shirt worked just as well (fortunately the tops weren't that expensive and are nice in their own right). Similarly, never needed (or bought) a nursing pillow/ cushion.

I never really used the bottles and Haaka I bought either - I did build up a small stash in the freezer but we never used it. I would have been glad of it in an emergency though so I guess I don't regret it.

We do have an LR discovery now, but the Astra we had when the kids were little was just fine. The bigger car is useful for camping and sports now.

The truth with parenting is that there are lots of right answers, and you just have to find your own way.

@sjxoxo
I rather thought nipple shells or shields were for mums who had flat or inverted nipples.

I couldn't agree with you more OP
Pregnant women and parents of children are bombarded with advertising for items that at best might come in useful. In this day and age of reducing waste and next day delivery there is no need to get nipple shields, bottles of formula, 24 muslins , etc etc in advance. Buy or borrow essentials only and top up as necessary. My babies are grown up but survived without baby baths, expensive pillows, multiple prams , toddler beds, little seats etc and were just as safe and happy. So much if it is a scam as far as I can see and guaranteed to make a lot of us feel inadequate.I thought consumerism was bad 30 years ago but it has got out of control now.

A cat net to go over the cot.
My ex’s mum was convinced that my cat would sit on the baby and suffocate him.
I knew she wouldn’t (completely aside from the fact that she isn’t really a lap cat, she’s not allowed in my bedroom at bedtime) but I got it just to keep ex MIL happy.

Now I have a cat who avoids my toddler anyway, and a cat net I never used.

I was told that i shouldnt have children until i could afford a house with a playroom as it was impossible to care for children properly without one.

You have one child though. That is much easier car wise. I’ve got a fairly normal hatchback- not an suv but it was a struggle to get everything in when we had two rear facing car seats in the back and a 6ft 4 husband. We never use my car when there are 4 of us.

The angst from friends that have 3 kids re cars is quite real.

There is a lot of shite that is marketed as ‘necessary’. Some of it is nice to have, some completely useless and some there is a notice quality difference if you pay more like with anything else.

I lived in a developing country for a while; one time while driving through a small town a group of women came up to the car and asked it we could take their relative home - we were travelling to her village anyway, and it turned out she'd come to town to give birth at the clinic. We had space, so she came to the car - carrying nothing but the baby. Absolutely nothing, not even a handbag. It makes me smile when I see the lists of essentials produced here.....

Not that long ago there were MN posters insisting teenagers each need their own ensuite bedroom plus their own living room downstairs.

You can't have children unless they are planned, you have savings, have a mortgage, a car and a permanent job.
Quite right! Don't want to poor / working classes procreating all over the place.

Ours were planned, some savings, no mortgage, no car and I had to give up my permanent job once DS arrived

You will need a pram/buggy.