Is your DH’s family better off than yours?

[MsWalterMitty]

Dh’s parents are 20 yrs older than my mine (in 70s) and are both retired from well paid jobs, but not rich. They own their own home and are pretty frivolous with money I would say. Their house is immaculate, always having upgrades, enough rooms for us to stay comfortably… including bedding/towels/toiletries etc… and always have lots of food in. They want for nothing and are lovely. They are very house proud.

My mum not soo much. Her house is lovely and tidy, but is always ‘undone’ in some way or something is usually broken due to the cost of fixing. She is not as house proud, but it’s cosy. We always have to bring our own bedding, and atleast one person sleeps on the floor. This is how I grew up, and is actually similar to mine and Dh’s house now.

I don’t know why, but I always feel a bit embarrassed taking my dh there. He’s not bothered

@Bluntness100

I have to be honest, I’m surprised you’re nearly forty and been together nearly two decades and still ashamed of your parents home.

My husband grew up relatively wealthy middle class, large detached home etc, I grew up in council accommodation, I never ever felt embarrassed when I took my husband there, becayse I never perceived what my father did and had as being any reflection on me as an adult. And I met my husband when I was twenty,

However I grew up in an abusive home, so I guess I was emotionally detached, but I felt and still feel, I as an adult am not in any way responsible for their lives.

You grew up in a loving home, with loving parents, many don’t have that, for me that’s something to be proud of, not what they had materialisticly.

I’m not ashamed, it’s just that i think he feels less comfortable at my mums house as it’s smaller soo no place to hide, and things are less convenient.

I've never found size particularly matters, unless people don't get on the or are forced to stay too long.
It's always feeling comfortable surely that's the main thing?
You darent breath at in laws House!

My parents were wealthier than DHs. They had a huge, rambling house that was always freezing and DM didn’t do cleaning. (DF was away most of the time with his work) there was books, dust and dog hair everywhere. Staying there wasn’t great, even though they had the space, I was never sure if the bed sheets/towels were clean or if there’d be food. I was always embarrassed to bring friends home as a child!
I far preferred going to DH’s mums home. Small, warm and cosy. Everything immaculate and very welcoming.

My parents and inlaws are of a similar age (60's) and have all worked hard all their lives. Mine are still working but the inlaws have had to retire on health grounds. Mine would be a good bit better off and more house proud. Both sets are amazingly generous and would do anything they could to help all their children out.

My DH family are better off, but my DPs should be better off but live in a country where the economy has completely collapsed. It is strange and frustrating, as a child DH had a worse standard of living despite going to a top public school and living in a stable country, I grew up in what was the termed a "third world" but we had a better standard of living then.

My dad was a hoarder and since he died my mum has sorted out loads of stuff so the house is a lot tidier and obviously easier to clean.
Dh's parents are dead but their house had a lot less stuff but was a lot more comfortable and cosy.
My parents were only slightly better off but way more generous.

Wealth-wise we are probably similar, but DH and his relatives all went to public schools and I’ve noticed that makes a big difference as far as confidence is concerned.