How do you get used to neighbour noise??

[Thegoodlive]

After an expensive divorce I could only afford to buy a mid terrace. I thought the sound insulation would be OK as it’s quite a large 3 bed house in a lovely area & these houses rarely come on the market (so people live in them a long time).

Well of course now I know the sound insulation is crap. 1 side I don’t hear a peep but the other side is horrific. Currently trying to work from home & all I can hear is the female neighbour screaming at her 2 kids, the kids constantly running up and down the stairs, what sounds like a ball being smashed against the wall & just general noise. My stomach is a knot of anxiety waiting for the next loud noise. The constant door slamming is horrendous too.

How can anyone ever get used to this? I have background music on but I used to be able to sit in my old house with no music or TV on and enjoy the quiet. Can’t do this now.

I know millions of people live in terraces so do they all get used to hearing other people and their noise?

Right now I’m not sure how much I can take after listening to the door slamming for the umpteenth time & rattling my whole house.

Can you pay and get your attaching wall sound proofed?

I’ve read up on soundproofing but not a miracle cure from what I’ve read, you still hear noise and no good for impact noise ie door slamming and stair noise.

I feel your pain OP, the door banging especially.

Last year during the first lockdown my neighbours' behaviour nearly sent me crackers and waiting for the next door-bang-that-sounds-like-a-gunshot and the rest of it sent me into an anxiety spiral that has been very hard to get out of.

My advice would be to give a good pair of noise cancelling headphones a try in the first instance.

I hate other people's noise so much.
I would look at sound proofing but in the meantime get some ear plugs or ear defenders

It's winter and school holidays, not a good combination.

My Mum lives in a 1980s semi and had the same issue. She carpetted every room instead of having hard floors, and had a builder put a stud wall in her living room which was the worst source of noise, they used a special kind of sound proof plasterboard and a few layers of insulation inbetween. It has helped muffle the noise, but doesn't actually remove it.

It doesn’t help that these neighbours never leave the house and that is not an exaggeration. The kids are never taken out and spend every school holiday inside, they don’t even go out in their garden. No wonder they have so much energy to run round their house.

You see I’ve read stuff about people having stud walls put up and it not really improving things so how can it be worth the expense & loss of space??

I'm in the same position. My neighbours are lovely, but loud.

As well as looking at the walls, look under the floors to make sure there are no gaps that need filling as impact noise can also go through the floor.

My house is a do-er upper, so I will get my chap to look at this for me when the time is right.

If you put in sound insulation it really needs to be on the side the sound is coming from to have any real impact, and if stairs etc are involved you’re never going to get great results. I feel for you, I ended up moving because I couldn’t stand the noise from my neighbours any longer.

Oh OP, how rotten. There isn't a solution, I'm afraid. Typically, neighbour noise is something that you get used to but in most cases, it's small noises and they can be comforting in a way. (The sound of other humans isn't always a bad thing). Yours though... well, gross. Talking to the neighbour probably won't help. Eventually the children will grow up. Can you outlast that? Otherwise, this might just be a two-year-house-and-move.

Sound insulation does help. But not by enough to justify the cost.

No way could I stand it, have you mentioned to your neighbour about the level of noise? Perhaps your neighbour doesn’t realise you can hear it OP? Other than soundproofing, I don’t know what else to suggest. But I can empathise, we had really noisy neighbours years ago, lived in detached properties ever since.

Can you speak to your neighbour specifically about the door slamming, as that seems to be the worst? If they’re halfway decent people, once they realise how noisy it is, they will be more conscious of all noise.

My DH used to ride his stationary bike at 5.30 am. The neighbour popped across one evening, and invited me over the next morning for coffee and to hear it from their side. I was mortified, as it seemed very noisy - a combination of no other early morning sounds to muffle the noise and the bike’s proximity to the wall. Of course we moved the bike, but DH also started riding at night, when they were still watching tv and had other sounds to compete with our noise. I thought it was lovely that he invited me to hear it for myself - he wanted to be sure that he wasn’t being unreasonable. I’d like to say that most people are reasonable once they know they’re troubling someone else. I hope this ends up being your experience. Good luck.

I’m not sure that I’m brave enough to go and speak to them. The door slamming is unbearable though. Why do people feel the need to literally smash their doors? I was wondering about a note?

Sorry but the answer is to move. In my bitter experience you can't deal with noisy neighbours as they're just unreasonable people by nature. Cut your loses now before you loose your mind and your health.

I have next door to a screaming toddler - day and night - and parents who have loud sex - sometimes all at the same time!

I'm about to try ear plugs...

Oh, my blood runs cold when I read these threads, because I was in this position for 3 years up until last year. It was honestly the most stressful time of my life. Constant noise, mostly TV and slamming doors. We actually kept quiet about it, as we didn't want to crank it up and make anything potentially worse! Luckily they were out during the day, so we could have viewings and eventually sell, otherwise that would have been a nightmare!

Please remember though OP, if you log it with the council or police, you will have to declare it and then your house will be practically unsaleable.

This is the kind of situation where being a renter is actually more desirable.

@GrimDamnFanjo, that's.......disturbing

My lovely neighbours of 20 years are about to move, Im dreading the replacements, 3 bed terrace. Trouble is if you do decide to move, you might end up with the same problem unless you can afford a detached.

Has your neighbour been friendly since you moved in OP?

I would speak to her rather than put a note through the door, you could knock and be friendly and just say you were wondering if your neighbour could hear your noise etc, she will say no, you can start the conversation. Hopefully, that will improve things, if not contact environment health to get noise measured.

I wonder if that was why the vendors decided to move?

I’d pop round and have a word along the lines of ‘I’m not sure if you realise but…’ I disagree with a pp who said noisy neighbours are always unreasonable. Quite often people are oblivious and are just going about their lives. My granny lived in a block of flats and had no idea her TV was on as loud as it was as she was slowly going deaf. Her neighbours told her, we got her some headphones and it was all sorted.

Well when I bought the house a few months ago it was a family of 3 with a toddler & I never heard anything. In fact they had a leaving party and I didn’t hear a thing, this lot moved in a few weeks ago and it’s been horrific ever since. Never heard old neighbours talking but can hear this woman clearly through the wall.

To be honest it sounds like normal neighbourly noise and I doubt there’s much you can do about it. Just out of interest did you grow up in a detached house because I usually find that people who do have unrealistic expectations about living in close proximity to others and expect to live in total silence.

Buy noise cancelling headphones

No I grew up in a flat. Before moving into this terrace I thought I might hear sounds like the TV, washing machine etc not constant door slamming and running up stairs. I know now though!

Mindfulness. You can't control other people but you can control how you react to them (and their noise). Learning to embrace it is the only way to really fix it.

If they've only lived there a few weeks how do you know they never go out? Are the children school age? Once they're back at school you should have more peace and quiet to work.