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Original poster

Please tell me other people like their spouse to wear pyjamas as well...

69 replies

Because789 · 29/12/2021 08:39

How can I be less OCD about this. I feel bad for my poor husband 🙈

I sleep in pyjamas. My husband sleeps naked. I'm sooo bothered that he doesn't wear any pyjamas or even just pants in bed. It really shouldn't be a big deal... Like I know I don't have any reason to dislike this. Why does this bother me so much?! 😱😂

I know sleeping naked is nice. I'd like to do it once in a while, but I don't get my body to myself if I do as he (lovingly) sees it as an invitation for initiating sex or to turn over and touch/grope me through the night when he's half asleep - I hate that. I don't feel the need to touch him when he's sleeping - in fact, I'm less likely to snuggle up to him when he's naked because it doesn't feel right. I also slightly over-focus the on fact that the 'below the waist' area isn't really a clean area and knowing my (hairy) husband like I do, it can be sweaty and possibly not 'totally' clean by the time bedtime rolls around 😬 Oh God I need to get a life and stop over-thinking this 🤦

OP posts:

inheritancetrack · 29/12/2021 12:07

Showed DH the skiddies and told him to change the bed daily, now he wears pants.

OrlandointheWilderness · 29/12/2021 12:22

I always sleep naked as does my bf. Love it, nothing better than a naked hug.

gogohm · 29/12/2021 12:27

No, hate the feel of them - prefer nothing

gogohm · 29/12/2021 12:32

@hohohohoh

Heating goes off at 8pm it's set to 19c. 10.5 tog duvet. Admittedly new house is well insulated but old house was solid walls and cold, had a quilt on top of duvet for midwinter then

DillDanding · 29/12/2021 12:36

I’m the other way round.

On the very rare occasion my husband wears a T-shirt to bed, I hate it. We always sleep naked.

We are very clean though. Your husband sounds a bit grubby.

MrsSkylerWhite · 29/12/2021 12:38

Can’t bear pyjamas in bed, feel really constrained so just wear a t-shirt. Husband just underwear.
Everyone should be able to wear as much or as little as they’re comfortable with.

lollipoprainbow · 29/12/2021 12:41

I'd personally love a naked, hairy man in my bed, maybe I have been single for too long

Livpool · 29/12/2021 12:42

DH sleeps naked but I don't.
It doesn't bother me at all - but he isn't a sex pest

SheWolfOFFrancee · 29/12/2021 12:49

@hohohohoh

All of you naked sleepers, how hot are your houses?? At this time of year I have a 13 tog duvet, thick PJs and a pair of bedsocks. I'd freeze to death if I was naked or just wearing a pair of pants.

Nope! DH and I both prefer to sleep naked out room is usually around 15/16c (drops to 14 sometimes in winter) we do have a lovely thick duvet that keeps us snuggly but often we sleep with feet / legs out to keep cool even in winter

DillonPanthersTexas · 29/12/2021 12:58

I love how some on here seem to think that by sleeping naked that you somehow sweat copiously or piss or shit the bed that warrants sheets being changed daily.

MWNA · 29/12/2021 13:04

@DillonPanthersTexas

I love how some on here seem to think that by sleeping naked that you somehow sweat copiously or piss or shit the bed that warrants sheets being changed daily.

If you sit up in bed to watch TV or read or whatever, your butthole is smushed against the sheets. And if you're a woman, your vulva is too. Yuk. Wear underwear in those circs. PJs in bed just make the sheet/duvet cover get all caught up. Horrible feeling.

MaxNormal · 29/12/2021 13:09

I don't care what DH does or doesn't wear to bed but I'd not be at all happy at unwanted groping.

WWTBCD · 29/12/2021 14:31

@Because789

Can I just say, I am not using OCD lightly but I would rather not have to explain my experience of it in every conversation I have where my thoughts don't match up with others. So please believe me when I say I am not just someone who likes things 'clean'. I've done a lot of work to physically hide my OCD/PTSD/anxiety, but it still gets me mentally and even having to write this I am sad because I know that now I will hyper focus on this all day when I really just wanted to have a light hearted discussion.

To those sharing similar experiences, thank you. I think it is a divided subject and didn't expect it to be so divided. Probably when I was younger I wouldn't mind the sleeping arrangements, but now I'm older, my body isn't beautiful, in exhausted from work and three non-school age children. But I think I will try and find a nice way to mention to my husband that I don't want to be touched in bed. I know that he has no idea it's being intrusive and would probably feel really upset if he thought he was upsetting me with it.

In that case I am sorry for my assumption but when someone posts about OCD without context in my experience it's generally someone who has no idea how horrendous it can be.

mydogisthebest · 29/12/2021 15:24

Me and DH both sleep naked. I hate nighties and pyjamas and just don't see the point of them.

We only have a 4.5 tog duvet all year round and our heating goes off around 9.30. We go to bed around 11.30 and it can feel a bit chilly when getting undressed but neither of us is ever chilly in bed

FinallyHere · 29/12/2021 15:35

find a nice way to mention to my husband that I don't want to be touched in bed.

I really mean this very kindly. It is no appropriate to be search for 'nice' ways to tell your husband to stop being a sex pest. Unwelcome sexual attentions are really not ok. Your body belongs to you and you alone, he has no business touching you in the way you describe.

He really need to be told straight out that it is not acceptable. Pussyfooting around finding a nice way to tell him, reinforces the incorrect idea that it is OK really but you are asking him to stop as some kind of unreasonable favour to you.

It is not OK to be groped in any situation.

What would you say if this were a sister, a daughter for a friend ? Just because you are married gives him no rights over your body. It's up to you to enforce this.

ImInStealthMode · 29/12/2021 16:13

I hear you OP. I'm very much a PJs / vest top & pants / at the very least pants type of sleeper, DP is a naked sleeper. We'd each prefer that the other one was the opposite, but each to their own.

I'm used to it now though and am somewhat aghast on the rare occasion he comes to bed in pants and a t-shirt if he's very cold.

Also; tell him to keep his grubby paws to himself! DP often sleeps with a hand on my side or my leg or my bum, but I don't mind it. If you do, you need to vocalise that it's not ok.

thetinsoldier · 29/12/2021 18:56

For everyone saying that OP's h isn't a sex pest, don't you read this:

I don't get my body to myself if I do as he (lovingly) sees it as an invitation for initiating sex or to turn over and touch/grope me through the night when he's half asleep - I hate that.

And op, why on Earth haven't you said something up to now? Tell him, and soon. And don't worry too much about being kind about it.

DockOTheBay · 29/12/2021 18:59

I would get twin beds. Then you can sleep naked when you want without getting groped, and he can sleep naked and get his own sheets all manky without you having to deal with it

TabithaTittlemouse · 29/12/2021 19:03

We sleep naked. If either of us ever saw that as an open invitation to assault the other they’d be gone.

I like being naked. If I stay at someone else’s house I take pjs out of respect for them but I don’t sleep well.

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