Does anyone ever genuinely have nothing to do?

[MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry]

I feel like I have a huge backlog of things that need to be done. I’ve had up and down mental health issues for years and during the down stages things slide and I barely manage to exist. During the up stages I try and catch up but it’s never ending. I feel like I’m trying to dig through a mountain with a teaspoon. When I do sit down to watch tv or go on MN or whatever I’m constantly thinking about all the stuff I need to do. I don’t relax. I keep feeling like I will feel good again when I get things back to zero. When I had my first baby things were at zero. I was working, maintaining my home very well, I could genuinely relax in the evenings as there wasn’t anything more to do. I haven’t felt like that in a long long time. Is it hopeless to think I can get back there?

I feel like this too. I expect to always feel like this working with kids, tbh.

I'm trying to slowly clear a backlog but there is always just more to do than I have time to do.

I feel like this too. It's almost like there's no point in bothering sometimes. If I get caught up with the laundry, then by the time I've caught up with cleaning I'm behind on laundry again.

I live in hope that it gets better when the kids leave home

I wonder about this...I could genuinely never sit down again and still have a list of things to do..but speaking to friends and colleagues I know there are people out there who don't feel like this..they amaze me!!

See I thought I’d find it easier when my DC were older, they’re now teens but I don’t seem to have made any progress in the backlog. I manage to do the basics on a daily basis- mostly! But the backlog is still there. I would love to have enough money to throw at it to organise a declutterer/a deep cleaner/a gardener and of course someone to overhaul my finances but if I had that money I wouldn’t need the finance overhaul!

I work part time. 1 ds. I can get plenty of downtime.

My dining room is currently an unuseable corridor because it is packed with stuff I need to get rid of. Stuff I have been meaning to sell for the last few years and stuff I have accumulated since then too. I’ve listed on FB/gumtree and given away lots too. Some just isn’t going, some I haven’t even managed to list. Some of it has migrated back to my bedroom to be sorted again for the 5th time.

I tend not to deep clean much though!

You need to just do a big clear out and get everything to have a place in your house then once it’s done it’s way easier to stay on top of!

When my baby is in bed I quickly run around and put everything that’s left out that’s in a box and at least it’s not cluttering up
The house ! Then I put it away when I can

Keeps
The place ticking over

You need to just do a big clear out and get everything to have a place in your house then once it’s done it’s way easier to stay on top of

Well yes! that’s what I cannot do.

And what I feel like I’m permanently doing at the same time

You need to just dedicate one weekend to it!

Put it all out on the floor and have a Dump pile/charity pile / keep pile

One weekend! Start with 2 days. Remove the time for cooking meals, doing basic laundry, dishes etc. 2 x dog walks a day. Taking kids to activities etc. Couple of hours work to get ready for the upcoming week. Leaves a very short amount of time, can perhaps tackle one room, but then like the OP says, all the stuff still need to get listed/posted/,donated/skipped...normally out of time to do that!

Honestly, there is no “just” about it. I have dumped, charity shopped, kept and sold so many times over the years. There’s always still more left. I feel like I want to just move house and leave it all here and start again with nothing. And it isn’t simply just decluttering. It’s everything. It’s cleaning the car, doing the garden, sorting the garden shed so it’s useable, the constant laundry, the normal house cleaning, it’s constant and never ending. I have deep cleaning rooms in this house so many times and they need done again within months by which point I’m only managing to do the rest. I can’t do it all in one go. Meanwhile the car is stinking again, the garden is like a jungle, the declutter pile has built up again. It feels so futile. It’s never done.

@ToooOldForThis

One weekend! Start with 2 days. Remove the time for cooking meals, doing basic laundry, dishes etc. 2 x dog walks a day. Taking kids to activities etc. Couple of hours work to get ready for the upcoming week. Leaves a very short amount of time, can perhaps tackle one room, but then like the OP says, all the stuff still need to get listed/posted/,donated/skipped...normally out of time to do that!

Yes this. A whole weekend sounds like loads of time, in reality it’s a snatched half hour here and an hour there between cooking and kids and let’s and grocery shopping and work stuff (I’m self employed and have to take the work as it comes).

Thing is, you have to MAKE the time to do it on a weekend. If you have a couple of teenagers they can pitch in too. Prepare a lunchbox type meal the night before so you only have to grab it and eat it and it doesn't slow you down. Leave the washing/housework for a couple of days as that's much easier to catch up with.

On the first day, start early. Start in one area and work clockwise to go through everything and put it into "keep", "donate", "bin" piles. If you have time left in the afternoon, head to the tip & charity shop with your piles so they're out of the house.

On the second day, find a home for all your "keep" items and give the newly created space a good clean.

I have 2 DC, work 40 hours a week and when they are at my ex-H's on a Friday evening and Saturday (until tea time) I can genuinely relax as everything is sorted. I can't function or relax in mess.

It feels like we’re always doing that though @nellytheelephantscircus. That’s what I mean- I’m constantly doing all these things and when I get done one thing it onto the next until I’m back to the start but there is always something. There is never nothing that needs to be done.

Kids pull their weight here. It helps loads.

Also luckily enough to afford a gardener.

I wouldnt bother doing the charity pile - it never goes.

I've done very little for the past two days (loaded and unloaded the dish washer, have done a load of washing). The house is clean and tidy - enough that if visitors turned up they could use the bathroom and i wouldn't be embarrassed.

@nellytheelephantscircus that sounds like you have 24hrs child free a week? I do have a DH, but he works shifts, weekends and evenings, so any time I'm not at my own FT job I have the kids and dog to contend with

There have been times when I’ve been overwhelmed with piles of stuff we no longer need. I’ve found the best thing to do is to split it in to two piles, charity shop and rubbish tip. Then put it straight in the car and take it to that place.

As much as I would love to sell stuff for the extra cash, I just haven’t had the time and I find it mentally freeing to recover the space in my home again.

Oh I have just learned to live with it. There will ALWAYS be a long list of stuff to do. Same at work.
Sometimes I feel productive sometimes not.
It'll always be there- don't worry about it!

I feel exactly like this too. There are simply not enough hours in the day or week or month to get everything done that needs to be done. I think I'm pretty good at decluttering and regularly clear out as much as possible yet it still builds up. The cleaning is ridiculous. I regularly pull things out and deep clean yet it needs doing again within a couple of weeks. I work full time as does DH. We have 2 primary school age kids who do help with some chores but need supervising while they do them. Then there's all the life admin, bills, things to remember for school, food shopping, taking kids to their clubs. I'm also studying for a degree although I'm really struggling to find the time for that at the moment. There is just too much to do and I do try to find ways to make it easier but it's never a dent in it.

Many of the things people say 'needs' doing doesn't really.

I have loads of downtime. But I don't do a lot of things my friends say they 'have to' do.

The things that need doing in my life do need doing. Otherwise the garden is unuseable, like the dining room currently is, and the car is filthy, etc. It all needs regular maintenance.

Read Oliver Burkeman Four Thousand Weeks, it's partially about getting comfortable with the fact that you will never get everything done.

I can't be arsed to do anything much at the moment, so in that way I have nothing to do.

If you really feel like moving house and leaving it all and starting again then just get a skip and dump it all !!