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Original poster

Weird Male behaviour

43 replies

crochetmonkey74 · 27/12/2021 22:25

I'm not really sure why I am posting here- but i dont know what to think about this.
I have a very good friend , who has an uncle - he is single and about 10 years older than me. (I'm 47)
I probably see this man about 5 times a year maximum at various events, but also at things like helping people move in the family etc I've chatted to him, and been part of his life for many years. Hes always spiky and every time I see him, he makes a big over dramatic deal of 'not remembering' me/my name/who I am. It's not done as a joke, it used to really disarm me but in recent events, I've busied myself talking to the kids and pretending I havent noticed or heard him.
I had put him down as a bit of a knob - then after a family gathering yesterday , today another member of the family contacted me to say that he had confessed to having feelings for me and was I available. This is definitely not a prank or anything like that, it's just so so bizarre. He's been so rude to me for as long as I have known him!

OP posts:

Sidehustle99 · 27/12/2021 22:50

I suspect he is not Mr Darcey so I would run for the hills. Unless of course you are interested in spending time with spikey?

VladmirsPoutine · 27/12/2021 22:54

I suppose it comes down to whether or not you want to get to know him? If yes then there you go. If not keeping it moving.

MargotEmin · 27/12/2021 22:55

Don't date someone who is mean to you

GodspeedJune · 27/12/2021 22:57

He enjoys putting you on the back foot. I would dodge this one.

Original poster

crochetmonkey74 · 27/12/2021 23:00

Definitely not interested. I am seeing someone and the way he has treated me is deeply unattractive. Its was just more a WTF moment , how can he think that it's ok to do that??

OP posts:

Newbabynewhouse · 27/12/2021 23:01

I assume he was being rude because he liked you...you know, like teenagers do lol... he probably did know your name and remember you but wanted to make a point of not remembering you...probably also to spark conversation ...he sounds chauvinist

beautifullymad · 27/12/2021 23:06

He just sounds unsure and really inexperienced. He's most likely been attracted to you from the first moment he saw you but has been feeling awkward about approaching you for years.
He finally got the courage up to ask the question.

Some men are completely awkward with dating but are lovely.

whenwillthemadnessend · 27/12/2021 23:06

@Sidehustle99

Lol you beat me too it with the Darcey comment.

Original poster

crochetmonkey74 · 27/12/2021 23:09

@beautifullymad

He just sounds unsure and really inexperienced. He's most likely been attracted to you from the first moment he saw you but has been feeling awkward about approaching you for years. He finally got the courage up to ask the question.

Some men are completely awkward with dating but are lovely.

Hes been married twice so not inexperienced. Hes actually the 'alpha' uncle. The one who gives all the advice, guidance , logistics etc That's why the forgetting me routine was so difficult to handle, he would do it when people were listening, or watching.

OP posts:

FrancescaContini · 27/12/2021 23:13

@beautifullymad

He just sounds unsure and really inexperienced. He's most likely been attracted to you from the first moment he saw you but has been feeling awkward about approaching you for years. He finally got the courage up to ask the question.

Some men are completely awkward with dating but are lovely.

Trust me, this one isn’t lovely. He’s deliberately trying to make you feel small and insignificant because he knows he actually hasn’t got a chance with you. It’s nasty behaviour.

Sidehustle99 · 27/12/2021 23:14

Yack rude, entitled and gets people to do his dirty work. This man needs some feedback

RobotValkyrie · 27/12/2021 23:26

Some people belittle (or even seek to destroy) what they want but can't have.
Being at the receiving end of that kind of behaviour is obviously deeply unpleasant and objectifying.

But basically he fears the power (attractiveness) you have on him.
... This is at the root of a lot of misogynistic behaviour...

SantaClawsServiette · 28/12/2021 02:50

Sounds very socially awkward.

I'm not sure there is more to put it down to other than - there are a lot of weird things people do, especially when they are attracted to someone.

slightlysnippy · 28/12/2021 03:03

If he's not learned how to socially interact appropriately with a women by the age of 57, that just shouts red flags, stay well away.

ForagingForMullberries · 28/12/2021 03:49

What does spiky mean??

PurpleSapphire · 28/12/2021 04:33

Strangely, I knew a man/boy like this way back. (Late teens, early 20s). He was part of our little friend group, absolutely vile to me for no reason whatsoever, I couldn't stand him.
Years later I bumped into him in the pub, he told me he'd fancied me from day one.

Erm...? Ok. Well you effed that one up mate.

Original poster

crochetmonkey74 · 28/12/2021 04:43

@ForagingForMullberries

What does spiky mean??

If someone is spiky, it means they are difficult to get on with, unnecessarily brusque and snappy etc

OP posts:

ElftonWednesday · 28/12/2021 04:48

I'd take the piss out of him back in front of everyone for "forgetting" who I was. "Well, you've known me for [x]. Is it alcohol or old age? Oh dear 🤣!"

Stupid twat.

Caka2 · 28/12/2021 05:48

Sounds like he is just socially very awkward and was in a very bad way trying to give you some attention by pretending not to remember you.
It is a reflection of his poor communication skills, that is all.
Saying that, clearly it was a tactic which has not at all been attractive for you and he hasn't realised just how offensive he has been.
I had something similar years ago when a man called me a snob and swore at me for not speaking to him when I was walking through our local town. I explained that I hadn't seen him and would never have been so rude if I had. I was a very shy and lacked confidence and the verbal attack really knocked me. He explained sometime later why he did it and asked me out!!!! I told him that I would never be with someone who could speak to me like that and found him very offensive.

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 28/12/2021 07:29

Pretending to dislike someone you fancy, and getting his friend to tell you he fancies you is very immature and teenage behaviour. He's 57 and been divorced twice, i'd not be interested in dating such a person, although I might give him the benefit of the doubt if he was very wealthy (shallow I know). Is he very wealthy?

And what on earth does "he's the alpha uncle who gives people logistics" mean?

Original poster

crochetmonkey74 · 28/12/2021 09:26

There are 4 uncles.
If you are the 'alpha' it means you are the most powerful/the leader.
Giving people the logistics means that when something needs to be organized, he's the person who tells everyone where and when to meet, what cars to use etc. The family look up to him as the head.

OP posts:

Original poster

crochetmonkey74 · 28/12/2021 09:27

@ThisIsStartingToBoreMe

And what on earth does "he's the alpha uncle who gives people logistics" mean?

I was answering this in my last post

OP posts:

sweetbellyhigh · 28/12/2021 09:30

What a knob. He sounds grossly immature. Ugh

Original poster

crochetmonkey74 · 28/12/2021 09:33

@ElftonWednesday

I'd take the piss out of him back in front of everyone for "forgetting" who I was. "Well, you've known me for [x]. Is it alcohol or old age? Oh dear 🤣!"

Stupid twat.

I did think of this , but I must admit I chickened out. I'm normally quite funny/feisty but because he is much loved and looked up to in the family , I lost my nerve.

OP posts:

Aquamarine1029 · 28/12/2021 09:36

It's no wonder he's single.

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