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Original poster

What’s your family visit time limit?

37 replies

MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry · 25/12/2021 20:34

How long can you cope with them visiting you/you visiting them for?

I’m a real introvert and really can’t relax with anyone in my house, I don’t have visitors often Grin when visiting my parents we usually manage a couple of hours. Today was 3 hours. Luckily they live close so visits can be frequent and short rather than rare and long!

I read on MN of people travelling to stay with family for days or even a few weeks and the thought of it horrifies me.

OP posts:
TeaandHobnobs · 25/12/2021 20:41

I can manage 36 hours with MIL before I feel like my head is going to explode.

One of my BILs is not a people-person (although has got a lot better over the years) - after 48 hours he basically cannot abide other people, so he isn’t great fun to be around after that.

I’m an introvert, but can usually cope with people staying for a night or two, but I need to feel I have my own space to escape to. I find holidays with extended family or friends hugely stressful, despite how lovely it is to have the opportunity to spend quality time together in that way.

2reefsin30knots · 25/12/2021 20:41

Yes 3hrs is the comfortable limit for me. My parents live close by so we do frequent 1-2hrs, which is perfect. DH's are an hour away so that tends to be 4hrs.

Friends, 1.5hrs would be plenty for me purely socially but I'm OK with longer if doing something structured!

Pheebs2021 · 25/12/2021 20:45

I don't mind Christmas visits with presents etc to last a couple of hours but sitting round making small talk I'm afraid I'm under an hour.

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Original poster
MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry · 25/12/2021 20:51

Yes Christmas makes it a bit easier because it’s broken up by gifts, eating etc. And there is an additional topic of conversation to fill the silences Grin

OP posts:
RandomUsernameHere · 25/12/2021 20:56

We're happy staying with my DParents for weeks at a time (we live overseas at the moment so stay multiple times a year).

Holly60 · 25/12/2021 20:58

Pretty comfortable to stay for days with family (both sides) and good friends. Others, maybe a day?

pourmeanotherglass · 25/12/2021 21:02

We live close enough to just go for the day, so tend to do that.
When the kids were little we sometimes stayed longer, as it was nice for grandparents to see the little ones on christmas morning, but now they are students and vegan/ veggie its a bit too much for my parents to cope with all of us for more than a day.

JenniferAllisonPhillipaSue · 25/12/2021 21:05

I'm in my own home. I've got BIL and MIL here for four nights. Send wine.

grapewine · 25/12/2021 21:05

Two days is the absolute max, no matter who it is.

gavisconismyfriend · 25/12/2021 21:08

My choice would be in hours but it wouldn’t be worth the shit from my mother. So staying 2 nights. Would really rather not…..

Original poster
MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry · 25/12/2021 21:18

@JenniferAllisonPhillipaSue

I'm in my own home. I've got BIL and MIL here for four nights. Send wine.
😂
OP posts:
freshcarnation · 25/12/2021 21:20

About 3 hours max. Same if people come here. Eat as soon as they get here, chat after and then they can go please.

TheCreamCaker · 25/12/2021 21:36

Our younger son (in a very new relationship, she was seeing her parents) came round at 11.15, he'd cooked a gorgeous beef curry (It's what we'd all agreed on) we all unwrapped presents to each other, had lunch 2 hours later, some drinks, listened to music, put tv on. Son's mate (old schoolfriend) came round, we had cheese and biscuits, fruit, cake. They left at 9pm!! It's been a long day and tomorrow will be too

Totalwasteofpaper · 25/12/2021 21:44

3 days
Day 1 being evening arrival, day 3 being no later than mid afternoon.

My mil has no limit… 5,7,9 days no bother just turns up empty handed expecting to be entertained…

I am on day 3 of her current visit and close to tipping point

EverNapping · 25/12/2021 21:48

When my sister starts on the people who've wronged her topic. Or an hour. Whichever comes first.

usually the sister

NewYorkDiamond · 25/12/2021 22:00

I'm just sitting here trying to work out why my DP's make me so irritable, they've not long left after a 4.5 hour visit and I hit my limit at about 3. For some reason I find PIL's easier to be around so I'm fine on 'their year' (we alternate), didn't want them to leave after a similar length visit last year but couldn't wait for DP's to leave today. Makes me feel a bit sad (and guilty) that I feel like that about my own family but I don't seem to able to help it, they irritate the life out of me! Doesn't help that they spend an hour saying they're going to leave but don't actually, you know, leave. By the time they said it for the sixth time I was ready to push them out the door myself Blush I really hope it doesn't show as, contrary to how this post must make it seem, I do actually love them and want them to come, just never for more than 3 hours Grin

Original poster
MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry · 25/12/2021 22:02

@EverNapping

When my sister starts on the people who've wronged her topic. Or an hour. Whichever comes first.

usually the sister

Ahh- we have the same sister! Grin
OP posts:
Original poster
MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry · 25/12/2021 22:03

For some reason I find PIL's easier to be around so I'm fine on 'their year' (we alternate), didn't want them to leave after a similar length visit last year

I could sit and talk with my ex MIL all day long. I love being in her presence. It makes me sad that I don’t have that with my own parents but it is what it is.

OP posts:
senorafridgidaire · 25/12/2021 22:06

We don't do well with guests. DH snores quite badly so I often sleep in the spare room with Ddog. The spare bed is Ddog's bed, she won't sleep anywhere else and paces all night if someone's in it (other than the dogsitter who she loves and will happily share with). DH has rhinitis so often wakes in the night to do loud nose blowing, we are all usually up and rattling around by 6am. None of this goes well with having overnight visitors. One or two nights we can struggle through, but anyone (usually family) who make noises about coming for longer are rebutted politely.

FemmeFutile · 25/12/2021 22:09

4 hours. I'm hiding now.

suckingonchillidogs · 25/12/2021 22:19

Went to my parents for 4 hours and I feel guilty it wasn't long enough. Conversation stalls after a bit though so hopefully they didn't mind

MrsMigginsEggNogShoppe · 25/12/2021 22:20

Two days for overnight guests. We've had DM here today and I elected to pick her up and take her home so I could set the time limit which was 6.5 hours. Now playing wine catch up with the adult DC and DH!

bumblingbovine49 · 25/12/2021 22:53

@MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry

How long can you cope with them visiting you/you visiting them for?

I’m a real introvert and really can’t relax with anyone in my house, I don’t have visitors often Grin when visiting my parents we usually manage a couple of hours. Today was 3 hours. Luckily they live close so visits can be frequent and short rather than rare and long!

I read on MN of people travelling to stay with family for days or even a few weeks and the thought of it horrifies me.

We visited my sister for lunch today . It is 1.5 hours away for context .

We arrived at about 1.30pm and left just before 7pm . I'd have happily stayed longer and would have stayed the night happily. I know my sister would have been fine with that ( she has stayed longer at my place in the past) However I also know DH and DS would have probably preferred to leave after 2-3 hours at the most. I put.my foot down about that as I wasn't happy to drive that distance for a 2-3 hour visit . We sat down for.lunch at 2.30pm and finished at about 4pm. Then we spent some time playing games and chatting and opening some presents, video calling other family, clearing up a bit

Then at about 6pm we had dessert and tea/ coffee ( needed time to make space for desert after lunch ) . Then another couple of games and left just before 7pm

So about 5.5 hours. Even that seemed to go really quickly to me .

Vbree · 25/12/2021 23:08

Around 3-4 hours. We have family who live quite far away and don't see often so it has to involve someone staying over usually. After a day or so I get very tired and irritable. I do it for DH though as he's much more social than me.

reesewithoutaspoon · 25/12/2021 23:47

my mother about an hour. fortunately she hates having to make the effort to visit others.
Had to host her for the last 20 years and I literally have to ring her to say dinners ready, she arrives with a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp. eats her dinner like she hasn't had a meal for days, says well I suppose it was alright, Opens her presents and is never happy with anything she gets, then leaves after an hour because we are watching Christmas films and she is a Grinch.
We have another Christmas dinner on boxing day, which most of the family treat as the real Christmas dinner because she doesn't come to that one, so we don't have a fun sponge sitting in the corner putting an atmosphere on the day. That one involves a lot of wine, sitting in pjs eating xmas crap and watching cheesy movies and I look forward to that one.