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Original poster

What can I get ExH for Christmas from the DC?

29 replies

ImFree2doasiwant · 21/12/2021 08:31

Hes so hard to buy for, I usually manage a few bits but this year I really haven't been browsing the shops so haven't come across anything. I only want to get something as the DC love giving, but they have no clue at all what to get him.

Things are not great between us and he has form for buying me wildly inappropriate things.

I've done mug, socks, t shirt, framed pic of kids in the last couple of years.

Dc1 said chocolate like they get me, but I know he doesn't really eat much chocolate or sweet stuff.

Hes got a million books he doesn't read. A hobby he never does (but buys stuff for). And I'm skint.

OP posts:

HermioneWeasley · 21/12/2021 08:33

He’s your ex, why are you organising the kids to get him anything? If they’re old enough to want to do something they can make him a card. His happiness and his relationship with his kids is not your responsibility

TaffyandTeenyTaffy · 21/12/2021 08:34

Cinema/bowling voucher - an activity for him to enjoy with the children. Maybe with some sweets/chocolate/popcorn to take with them.

Original poster

ImFree2doasiwant · 21/12/2021 08:39

@HermioneWeasley because they're too young to buy for themselves, and they want to get him a present.

@TaffyandTeenyTaffy the DC do love bowling,I'm not sure he'd use it though.

OP posts:

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Christmas Events & celebrations General shopping

AppleKatie · 21/12/2021 08:44

DC said chocolate and it’s cheap.

Get that.

Who cares what he likes. He can let the kids eat it.

SleepWhenAmDead · 21/12/2021 08:46

@AppleKatie

DC said chocolate and it’s cheap.

Get that.

Who cares what he likes. He can let the kids eat it.

Do this

Newestname002 · 21/12/2021 08:46

@AppleKatie

DC said chocolate and it’s cheap.

Get that.

Who cares what he likes. He can let the kids eat it.

Yep. 💯% this. Job done, OP. 🌹

worriedandannoyed · 21/12/2021 08:47

@HermioneWeasley

Hit is really horrible. I always buy for my ex. Just token gifts so my kids can give him something because this makes them happy. It's not about him, I hate him. It's about my kids.

Original poster

ImFree2doasiwant · 21/12/2021 08:55

@worriedandannoyed thank you for understanding. It really isn't about him, but they love giving and will be giving his parents something so they would notice if they had nothing for him.

OP posts:

LizzieSiddal · 21/12/2021 08:58

You say he doesn’t eat much chocolate, but that means he eats some, so get the children to chose a box for him and just give him that.

UndeadSlut · 21/12/2021 08:58

Mine gets a band t-shirt every year. Minimal effort from me, the kids are happy because they get to give him something. If the kids have suggested chocolate surely that makes sense, then it's more from them?
My kids have also started making things out of air dry clay etc for him as extra.

Original poster

ImFree2doasiwant · 21/12/2021 08:59

OK, so chocolate. I honestly (even after everything) just feel a bit shit about it. I need to stop it.

OP posts:

penguinwithasuitcase · 21/12/2021 08:59

Take them to the pound shop and give them a fiver each to choose a variety of bits?

If it's a bit of a weird selection it'll be cute, you're not spending loads, and they can both have some ownership over the gift AND learn a bit of budgeting

Octagoneaway · 21/12/2021 09:00

You absolutely should help them go buy him something, and he should do the same for you, it is so important to show the children how to behave. My ex and I always have done. When they were smaller I’d often get bubble bath, despite the fact I don’t like a soak in the bath, but that’s not important, I was grateful.

Buy the chocolate, the kids will enjoy giving it, and it’s the thought that counts.

SnowIsInTheAir · 21/12/2021 09:01

If they're old enough to speak, you let them choose. They said chocolates, get him chocolates. Then stop thinking about it.

LadyCatStark · 21/12/2021 09:02

Yep they want to get him chocolate, so chocolate. If he doesn’t eat it, someone will.

Octagoneaway · 21/12/2021 09:02

And sorry, I know you said you were going to get something, my comment was more aimed at those who say “don’t bother”.

ivykaty44 · 21/12/2021 09:04

savers do a gift set of linx, its under £2

or try wilko

LlamaParma · 21/12/2021 09:09

Honestly don’t bother buying anything. You’re sending a message to your kids that women still have to do the wifework after a split, they will get over not buying one present for their dad. I bet he’s not bothering his area to make the effort for you

Original poster

ImFree2doasiwant · 21/12/2021 09:20

@Octagoneaway actually, he loves a long siak in the bath so bubble bath would be perfect! Thank you. That and some chocolates, sorted

OP posts:

HPandTheNeverEndingBedtime · 21/12/2021 09:35

Ex and I always buy gifts for each other, I always give him a framed photo of Dd from her school pics, and she picks him something out. She has a gohenry card and spends her pocket money on gifts now (I top up 50% of the cost of the gifts she's bought but I don't think she knows that) , last year she just choose a bag of munchies for him, a bag of minstrels for me and she bought his girlfriend a lovely mug gift set with her favourite animal on which was quite funny. It's the act of giving that matters, not what was received. She knew dad and I both liked what she picked, knew his gf would like her present, the financial imbalance was lost on her as it should be. She hasn't bought either of them anything this year but bought her new sister (their child) a jellycat teddy which was £££.

KurtWildesChristmasNamechange · 21/12/2021 09:41

@LlamaParma

What a crap post. OP is doing this because her kids like to get their dad something. She's not doing 'wife work' she's doing 'mum work'. Don't confuse the two.

OP it's always been important for my DC to get their dad something for birthday/Christmas. We've been separated nearly 6 years and I let them pick something random they think he'll like with a small budget (about a fiverish). Chocolate is a win because if he doesn't eat much of it they'll probably get to help finish it off. Win win.

Original poster

ImFree2doasiwant · 21/12/2021 09:45

Thank you. I'm not teaching them its wife work at all. When they're old enough, they can and will do it themselves. My mum takes them to choose something for me. I want them to have have more normal attitude to giving gifts and atm they love it.

OP posts:

AtillatheHun · 21/12/2021 09:46

Take the kids to the shop and give them a fiver budget each and let THEM pick a gift from THEM

Octagoneaway · 21/12/2021 10:37

Ah, fantastic, glad I could help! I wish I could have given you some of my stash that I am slowly working my way through🤣!

Now they’re a bit older, my children buy me biscuits and fruit tea with their pocket money. Doesn’t cost them much, and is easy to find in the shops, but when I ask for tea and biscuits they go and make it for me, so it gives them the opportunity to do something kind more than once. You’re doing a good thing, teaching thoughtfulness is important!

RedCandyApple · 21/12/2021 11:10

How old are they? Not sure why they can’t choose themselves? My ex is absent so this doesn’t apply to us but a few years ago my kids said they wanted to buy me presents for my birthday so I just took them to the £ shop and they chose a few bits for me whilst I pretended I didn’t see, they even scanned them and I just paid. Can’t see why they can’t choose a few bits from Poundland?

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