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Original poster

If you’re a mum and use Facebook or Instagram….

104 replies

Youngatheart00 · 21/12/2021 03:54

lighthearted

….little plea for you to post something other than yet another pic of your child every once in a while.

I don’t care if it’s your lunch, your holiday, hell even a motorway service station just not more baby/kid spam please. It’s astounding to see how once interesting friends have changed and now post pretty much daily updates of their offspring eating toast, watching tv, with relative xyz. Fine to take the pics, why do they need to be shared with the world?

NB also stop with the damn elf on a shelf

OP posts:
time2tork · 21/12/2021 08:18

Totally agree with you 😂
I follow YOU not your 3 year old playing with spaghetti pasta and visiting the ducks.

And all the breakfast with Santa pics lately.... omg. 🙄

Breakfast with Santa is one step too far for me, what the actually 🤦🏼‍♀️

When I post pictures of my children, I'm always in them.
I do love a cheesy family pic but only get one once or twice a year haha

MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 21/12/2021 08:22

I quite like seeing other people’s DC, but I despise the creepy as fuck elf.

SpideySenseTingles · 21/12/2021 08:25

I'm not being rude Goes on to be terribly insulting.

Lightheardted Clearly is very hurt and wanting to indulge in some bitchy swipes at mums.

There's lots of reasons why mothers have generally changed their SM use to be more of a family album.

When I look back at my FB memories from 2008/9 I cringe at how much inane stuff I used to share: how my work day was going, if I was seeing a friend, that I was having an early night.

Now I just use FB to share family news and store nice photos of days I want to remember.

I'm sorry that your having a hard time OP. Maybe you need to find some more hobby/interest accounts or groups to follow on SM. Then your feed will be more varied than a lot of kid photos.

Tiddlywinkly · 21/12/2021 08:27

When I had my first child I went a bit crazy on social media with the posts, but 8 years in, I only occasionally post pics of the dc if we have gone somewhere a bit different (so, not the park/softplay/just playing/eating). I've noticed most parents with young children 'emerge' from the young kid bubble when their youngest is 4 or 5ish. Babies and toddlers are just so consuming/needy of parents' time and thoughts. I didn't realise at the time how dull the posts are for others. Hopefully it'll die down in a bit for you or just mute them. BTW I can't bloody stand Elf on the Shelf either. A hassle and total s#$@ in my opinion.

Allaboutyou222 · 21/12/2021 08:29

Don’t look then?

FB and Instagram are always annoying. Not just mum stuff. 55 photos of someone drink night out? Quasi arty photo of some countryside/the moon/ trees etc.

People post all kinds of shite on their SM. I just ignore it. And occasionally post my own.

Apricotblue · 21/12/2021 09:01

YANBU I don’t find it boring, more depressing that they used to be people with hobbies/interests/a job.
I have dc but it’s a choice to make parenthood a personality trait.

Original poster
Youngatheart00 · 21/12/2021 09:05

Those who said posing selfies are annoying too - they are!! Too much of ANYTHING is - whichever the poster was who said I’m friends with the person not their offspring hit the nail on the head.

Yes, there is an element of being hurt/touching a nerve because of my own infertility. But that doesn’t mean I want to unfollow them. It just reminds me that I’ve got absolutely nothing in common with most of my friends anymore

I have a dog, a DH, godkids, nieces and nephews, enjoy travel and reading - I do try and keep my posts varied and this is despite the fact the vast majority of my life is dominated by work. If I posted about work every day along with multiple pictures of it people would likewise get tired of it.

Perhaps the answer is just to come off SM altogether but that’s just going to add the the feeling of exclusion!

Go on friends…post a picture of the Christmas cake or something…or send me a text that doesn’t mention your DC!!!

OP posts:
PainAuChocowhat · 21/12/2021 09:35

I completely agree OP, I have an 18 month old and a private Insta account for family & close friends to follow if they want to see pics of her. My other social media accounts are reserved for the rest of my (pretty mundane) life choices as I just can’t be doing with people who have post after post after post of their DC. Agree with PP that I find it a bit depressing that there are often no indications of hobbies, interests, any life outside of children really.

CurryLover55 · 21/12/2021 09:36

DD13 won’t let me post pictures of her on Facebook

PainAuChocowhat · 21/12/2021 09:37

Oh and virtually all of my Facebook friends pre-date my DC so they definitely did not sign up for constant baby-spam. They also most likely did not sign up for pictures of my now-40-something face ten years ago but is it what it is.

Corbally · 21/12/2021 09:43

But I think you are under the impression people are posting on Instagram for the purpose of entertaining other people — my Instagram, for instance, existed only for the purpose of my parents and ILs seeing our DS grow when we lived overseas, it wasn’t some kind of lifestyle blog. Then again, it was a closed group with six members, so you wouldn’t have seen it anyway.

KurtWildesChristmasNamechange · 21/12/2021 09:48

My Instagram, therefore my choice what I post. There's a mute or unfollow button for people who don't like it. Job done.

LonginesPrime · 21/12/2021 10:03

I have a dog, a DH, godkids, nieces and nephews, enjoy travel and reading - I do try and keep my posts varied

You're not providing a service to anyone else by posting your life on social media - why on earth do you care if anyone dislikes the balance of the topics you choose to post about?

It sounds like you're making a real effort to curate your social media feeds for others' entertainment, which is lovely if you enjoy doing that, but I think it's important to remember that not everyone uses social media in the way you do, and not everyone is putting as much thought into their posts as you are.

People are free to post whatever boring crap they want, and everyone else is free to follow, like, mute or block it as desired.

You can't control what other people post, but you can control what you have to see on your feeds.

BiscuitLover3678 · 21/12/2021 10:05

When you have a kid, they are more interesting and important than lunch or some holiday. Priorities change op. Don't follow people that don't interest you!

BiscuitLover3678 · 21/12/2021 10:06

She is not there to interest you 🤣 this is all so ridiculous! Social media is selfish and everyone knows that. It's about sharing things you love and for you to look back on (it is for me anyway).

black2black · 21/12/2021 10:09

@Ohpulltheotherone

OP I feel you, I was child free (not by choice) for quite a few years whilst all my friends had babies and kids and I felt the same way. So I do empathise.

I have kids now and I just want to say that my life isn’t interesting OP. I’m sure it will be again some day so I’m not trying to martyr myself - but honestly right now I have very little time to myself and very little (non existent) social activity. I do go to the gym but I’m too old for gym selfies.
My life is basically working and childcare and there’s probably the odd cuppa with a friend once a month if that.

So just consider it from the other side too - mums often have naff all to post about other than their kids or domestic activities. For some this is an active choice and they love it and that’s great but for others, the role of mum has stripped them of anything of their own (time, money, patience, body autonomy) and they have nothing much to Share outside of it.
Again not trying to martyr anyone! It’s just the reality of being a mum for some women.
I find it hard and it upsets me when I think about how one dimensional I seem to have become.
But as I say, hopefully not forever!
Maybe I should take some gym selfies then…

Same. I wonder who I am apart from Mum. Who was I before I had kids? I feel quite lost tbh.
black2black · 21/12/2021 10:11

@BiscuitLover3678

When you have a kid, they are more interesting and important than lunch or some holiday. Priorities change op. Don't follow people that don't interest you!
This is true. My cat used to be my baby now I’m like get that bloody cat away from me.
evtheria · 21/12/2021 10:13

Listen, it’s either photos of my kid out doing something, or endless LotR memes. 🤷🏽‍♀️

(Half-joking. I rarely post anymore, I just look at LotR accounts.)

evtheria · 21/12/2021 10:14

@Ohpulltheotherone This is sad, but I’m definitely in this boat.

Icanflyhigh · 21/12/2021 10:14

Happy to assist OP. I'm banned for 24 hours for referring to a female dog as a bitch!😂

Redcrayons · 21/12/2021 10:15

Mine won’t let me post photos of them so you’d only be getting photos of my lunch Grin

I don’t mind it too much, I quite like seeing what my friends are up to. 35 photos of the kids at the zoo is a bit too much though.

I’m with you in the Elf stuff though. The first couple are ok, but it’s enough now.

HardbackWriter · 21/12/2021 10:18

I had a quick look at the first 10 posts that came up on my Facebook feed, excluding ads (which is a lot of it!) and groups I'm in. I got:

3 posts with pictures of children doing various Christmas things
1 post with pictures of pets (this was objectively a lot more boring than the pictures of the children as it was 6 pictures of the same cat sat on a cushion)
1 set of photos of a couple eating dinner in a restaurant
1 set of photos of someone's child graduating from university (I don't know if this counts as a child photo?!)
2 posts sharing memes mocking the government
1 person sharing a guardian article
1 person posting that they've had their booster jab

I wouldn't say that the pictures of kids are ruining what would otherwise be constantly fascinating content... You're either ok with looking at what's going on in your friends' lives day-to-day or you're not, and if you're not then SM isn't really for you. It's nearly always going to be objectively quite dull stuff - someone else's dog or holiday really isn't going to be that interesting for most people. You care about it because you care about the person, or you don't care about it at all.

BertieBotts · 21/12/2021 10:18

Sorry but we are too bloody exhausted to think about anything else :o

I post more for me than others really. My kids growing and changing is something that I want to document and remember. What I eat for lunch, less so.

WeatherwaxOn · 21/12/2021 10:20

I don't post any pics of DC on Insa. Or Twitter. Very occasionally on FB.
I've already seen the myriad of pics from others with their offspring posed in front of their christmas tree, visiting santa, at the panto, ice skating, etc.
All very nice to be #makingmemories but a bit boring when that's all that anyone ever posts.

FestiveMelts · 21/12/2021 10:21

Tbh most of what I get up to DOES include my kids. We work full time and rarely have a babysitter. Weekends are mostly family events designed to keep them entertained, adult time is rare so there's just not much of note to document (although I do when there is!).

I do agree that posting too often is tiresome, I only do it every few weeks if I really like the pic or whatever. Some friends load several similar pics of their kids doing mundane things on a daily basis, and I hardly bother to look. Some people need to be more selective, kids or not!