Tory imbecile on Radio 4 just now - social workers must recognise danger of fleeting relationships ?

[peridito]

Who was it ? Only caught snippets but think content going to be very distressing for lone parents .

If kids are being introduced to fleeting partners then I would agree?

Yes ,I did agree with idea that danger can come from a random partner but I'm sure SW's know this .And if I heard correctly the emphasis was "children will never be safe until SWs recognise that lone parents love life is a potential threat .

Why? Most people don’t introduce fleeting partners to their children.

But I'm ill and grumpy so hopefully I misheard .

You’re right. I’m sure social workers have never considered this risk
Plus the bonus traditional of bashing of single parents.

But it’s true. Children are considerably more at risk from a step parent than a biological parent. I’m a single parent with a new partner living with us so I’m not single parent bashing but it’s one of the biggest risk factors for children. Pretending it isn’t because you don’t want to accept reality is daft.

There are millions of posters on here who have introduced fleeting partners to their confused kids, they get extremely defensive if anything is said and the general consensus seems to be that their right to private life trumps the kids stability.
It’s really crappy.

There was a thread on this a while ago and one woman posted that she met a man and had moved him in with her kids after 6 weeks of knowing him and it worked out fine so it is fine to do that

I've been single since my son was 8 months old and he has just turned 6.

It’s true. We shouldn’t minimise it just because there are some on here who feel that it’s single parent bashing. It’s precisely because of those attitudes that people are reluctant to say anything and children fall victim to abusive step parents.

Maybe if Star Hobson’s mother and Arthur’s father had felt less entitled to a sex life those children would still be alive today.

It's based on a study by Canadian academics who researched years of data. They found that step fathers are 90% more likely to abuse children than biological fathers.

Pretty much every single case of a child suffering abuse in the home arises as a result of the parent starting a new relationship with someone toxic. I don't think we should ignore that.

Pretending it isn’t because you don’t want to accept reality is daft

@Snookie00 - read my posts .

@FanGirlX

It's based on a study by Canadian academics who researched years of data. They found that step fathers are 90% more likely to abuse children than biological fathers.

I'm a single mother too btw. I would be a lot more wary of who I start a relationship with now, than I was before DD. It's also really unlikely that I'd move someone in. That said, I have a good job and am financially secure, as I had DD quite late - I don't need a man to provide for us. Maybe poverty has a lot to do with the women who just move men in, rather than all single mothers being desperate?

So what is your issue @peridito? You said it’d be distressing for lone parents. What do you object to?

Blustery I'm not suggesting we ignore it -I'm annoyed that some MP should go on record saying that "until SWs recognise" this, children will never be safe as if it had never crossed their mind .And as if the safety of children were entirely the responsibility of SWs.

Did anyone else hear it ? Who was it ?

My mum turned down my dad's way too soon proposal because she was prioritising my older siblings. She made him wait, even though she did love him, because guess what, her kids came first.

It's not single parent bashing. It's recognising that it's a point of vulnerability for the children and adults concerned.

And as if the safety of children were entirely the responsibility of SWs.

It's the responsibility of the parents. That's why Arthur and Star's parents are now in prison and the SWs aren't.

However SWs are there to ensure the safety of children whose parents are failing to keep them safe. For whatever reason, those SWs have failed in the cases of Arthur and Star.

snookum it seemed to me that the MP was implying that all lone parents had series of relationships and that this was the sole/main reason for child abuse .

That was why I think it would be distressing for lone parents .

I mean, SW maybe should be looking into new partners and discouraging this a bit more?
The recent cases haven’t exactly covered them in glory.

Social workers already know this. But when they're case loads are more than anyone can reasonably manage, they can't take the actions they need to, to keep the child(ren) safe.

It's not the fault of social workers that their funding has been cut to the bone.

I actually just broke up with somebody for this reason. I had introduced him to my child and they got on great. I trusted this person but to me it wasn't worth the risk. Would I have ever left them alone together? No. And this person did nothing to suggest he would do anything untoward to my toddler. However to me, it's just not worth it. I decided that I wasn't prepared to accept the miniscule risk that my son could come to harm and I ended the relationship because my son comes first.
My mum had many relationships when I was little and although I was never abused directly, I was neglected due to them always coming first.

I read it that the OP was frustrated at the idea that social workers weren’t already considering this, as in, ‘Surely social workers are already aware of research / evidence on this issue and don’t need to be taught it by a politician on the radio.’

Lone parents probably do feel affected by suggestions that their status raises potential risk for their children.

Pointing out the obvious is shifting blame. Did the MP say what they are going to do to increase social worker numbers?

I'm a widow and wouldn't move anyone in until my kids had left home, but the tory way is to vilify social workers, teachers, single mums, scientific experts etc, rather than to admit that underfunding is part of the problem. Single mums feel the need to move in with others for financial reasons. Social workers case loads have doubled under the tories. But yes easier to vilify people