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Original poster

My Christmas present from my mother.

32 replies

lovetobeatpeace · 19/12/2021 00:49

A radiator duster, some TU socks & a phone holder for my car. Our relationship is hanging on by a thread but she really has excelled herself this year with a total lack of thought.

I'm annoyed I got as upset as I did. What gift did your uncaring parent get for you?

OP posts:
MacNTosh · 19/12/2021 00:53

The same as every year for around the last 15 years, £50 cash that I have to transfer from her bank account. I’d rather she spent time choosing something thoughtful, even if it was just a couple of pounds. This year I’m doing the same for the first time.

Pallisers · 19/12/2021 00:58

A radiator duster, some TU socks & a phone holder for my car. Our relationship is hanging on by a thread but she really has excelled herself this year with a total lack of thought.

tbh that would have been a nice present from my mum or dad - because they were lovely kind loving parents. But if they gave me something from the grocery store I wouldn't have cared as they were my lovely mum and dad.

I think what is really going on is you are facing the lack of parenting by your mother and her xmas presents just reinforced that she doesn't get you and doesn't care

Hairyfriend · 19/12/2021 00:58

DH has had a branded sports bag- that his mother gets free from her work! Another year a black balaclava and a vinyl jacket! The type of balaclava a thief in films wears, complete with slits for eyes!!! AIBU that its never that cold in the SE of England to wear such a balaclava?!?

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Christmas
bluecampbell · 19/12/2021 01:51

Notables from my father - a chemistry textbook, a pair of wine flutes from a charity shop with lipstick still on one of them, a strange plastic gorilla sculpture (I work in conservation but still....) and the last three years nothing as he's forgotten. My stepmother's daughters, however, get beautiful, thoughtful and extensive presents.

It doesn't matter to me now as I have taught myself not to expect anything from him, whether it be presents or otherwise, so I'll never be disappointed but every now and then I do get a pang of how unimportant I must be to him.

MrsPsmalls · 19/12/2021 02:02

Really are they terrible presents? I mean the radiator duster is a bit niche but I would enjoy it. The phone holder is just a fine if dullish present, and is there anyone in the country who doesn't get socks for Christmas?

madisonbridges · 19/12/2021 02:11

Hey! I've bought a car phone holder for my sister. True, she asked for it but I think its a great present and so I've bought one for myself. And my mum once bought me a radiator duster. I love it. And my long handled duster. And socks are very important for your health. I think you're being very sniffy about very decent presents.

Original poster
lovetobeatpeace · 19/12/2021 07:45

It's the lack of thought which gets me. I've been with her when she has deliberated for ages over other people's gifts. I know I probably shouldn't compare but as @bluecampbell says, it hurts from time to time.

OP posts:
QueefofSheena · 19/12/2021 07:47

I got cellulite cream last year Hmm

Thatsplentyjack · 19/12/2021 07:49

My mum always asks and gets whatever I ask for or puts money towards what I ask for.
My dad gets me nothing. Not even a box of chocolates. They don't live together, and I always buy his gift. Infact the first year they separated he gave the kids their money, gave my partner socks Hmm(clearly weren't actually bought for him) and gave me nothing.

Elfcandoone · 19/12/2021 07:55

My relationship with my own parents isn't quite as disasterous, and they generally have the sense to get me something from my amazon wish list.

I'll never forget the year PIL got DH a Lynx Africa gift set for his Christmas. He sat in the car afterwards and just said 'Well that says it all doesn't it?'

He got a Brut set the year after (He was in his 30s at this point, not his 80s). They have also bought me a pair of PJS in the wrong size and DS1 the same toy (that he never plays with) for the last three years in a row.

Thatsplentyjack · 19/12/2021 07:57

He got a Brut set the year after (He was in his 30s at this point, not his 80s). They have also bought me a pair of PJS in the wrong size and DS1 the same toy (that he never plays with) for the last three years in a row.

That's standard from my pil every year. I wonder if we have the same pil 🤣.

Papertrail392 · 19/12/2021 08:03

I'd be quite happy with those gifts tbh. It's hard to think of stuff for adults. My mum asks me what I'd like or I buy it myself and she gives me the money. DHs parents do the same. They're getting old, just the fact that they care enough to get me something is enough. They're all great parents.

My mum this year has given me £50 which ended up being spent on shopping and then she usually gets me slippers/socks to open on Christmas day. MIL has given me the money to buy a new dressing gown. That's more than enough for me.

Queenie24 · 19/12/2021 08:19

My dad does not get me or my children anything not even a card and he lives in the same street as us.

ChoccySprinkles · 19/12/2021 08:20

This year my only remaining parent’s dementia has advanced to the point where I won’t be getting a gift or a card. They won’t know it’s Christmas. I’m heartbroken. More about the card because they always wrote such thoughtful messages - for birthdays they would work out the exact number of seconds I had been alive, that sort of thing.

sashh · 19/12/2021 08:26

I've posted a few corkers from my mum over the last month or so but this is one I don't think I've posted before.

For my birthday one year my parents came to visit, my dad and my then housemate like musicals, my mother and I don't.

So for my birthday present she paid for my dad and flatmate to go to see a musical. I had to pay to take her to a different theatre for a play.

Billandben444 · 19/12/2021 08:51

@bluecampbell
Perhaps he doesn't buy his step-daughters' presents, perhaps it's their mum. Is yours the only one he has to get - is he just rubbish at buying gifts? 😢

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 19/12/2021 09:00

I get sweet fuck all from either of my parents (divorced) I didn’t even get a birthday card or text this year and neither did my kids (which for me is more the point). My nieces and nephews get bags of stuff. I’d just like them remembered.😢

SequinnedShawl · 19/12/2021 09:00

@ChoccySprinkles Flowers

Jumpingintochristmas · 19/12/2021 09:01

PIL have forgotten DH’s birthday now twice, they are getting old but always tell us what they sent his Bro 😞

Paddingtonthebear · 19/12/2021 09:02

Nothing, haven’t seen or heard from her for years

mdh2020 · 19/12/2021 09:31

My mother is 101 and has never, ever bought me a Christmas present but I don’t expect her to. I really don’t expect it. This year she bought me a really nice birthday present (a book I wanted) but she doesn’t often even do that because presents aren’t important to her. I don’t need a gift to tell me how she feels about me.

Insertdeadcatsnamehere · 19/12/2021 09:38

My mother always asks what I want and then takes great pleasure in getting me something very slightly different, for example she asks for a link to the trainers I want then gets me the wrong colour and size and smirks at me as I open them. Not an issue with her using the internet or anything, she's just a bitch.

FallonCarringtonWannabe · 19/12/2021 09:38

I got a vacuum cleaner. Because i needed a new one. My bearded dh got shaving cream amongst his presents from mil last year. They definitely do care though.

Ive got my dad an in car phone holder. I definitely care about him. I usually get him some weird mancave item ive seen on instagram. Last year it was an arm strap to hold screws. He studied it for ages muttering how useful that would be when i explained what it was. My dh thought it a ridiculous present. I radiator cleaner would be handy.

I dont think the gifts are the issue here.

What would you have wanted her to get you? And if it is very specific or very, very vague, i dont think anything would have been good enough.

peaceloveandgin · 19/12/2021 11:50

Absolutely nothing for the past 30 years

FictionalCharacter · 19/12/2021 12:02

@Insertdeadcatsnamehere

My mother always asks what I want and then takes great pleasure in getting me something very slightly different, for example she asks for a link to the trainers I want then gets me the wrong colour and size and smirks at me as I open them. Not an issue with her using the internet or anything, she's just a bitch.
That's really nasty of her. Flowers