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Original poster

How old were your DCs when you left them alone for an hour or two?

50 replies

Waxonwaxoff0 · 17/12/2021 07:36

Just to clarify I'm not planning on doing this yet as I think he's too young, it's just a musing for the future.

I'm a single parent, DS is 8 and a half. I'd like to join a gym in the future and go to classes as I just can't get motivated to lose weight at home! He does go to his dad's house but only around 3 nights a month.

What age did you all start leaving your children for an hour to do stuff like this?

OP posts:

Pegasussnail · 17/12/2021 07:40

Mine is the same age and i would say 10
Are there any gyms with childcare near you 9r could you pay a local teen?

icedcoffees · 17/12/2021 07:56

I was about 9-10 years old when I was left for an hour or so. I spent all day everyday on my own during the school holidays from age 12. That's from around 8.30am to 5.30pm.

mdh2020 · 17/12/2021 07:58

Does he go to visit friends? Maybe he could join a class or cubs? Perhaps that’s when you could go to the gym? I assume you are working and can’t go in school time?By the way, going to the gym will tone your body but to lose weight you need to eat less.

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Families

reluctantbrit · 17/12/2021 09:28

I think DD was 9 when she was on her own for 1/2 hour while DH picked me up from the station/dropped me off somewhere or we went to the supermarket.

She was 10 when she came home from school and was alone for 2 hours until I was home.

But, she always was independent and fairly reliable and we had back-up plans like our neighbours being there or a friend's house on the same street.

I don't think we left her on her own after dinner until she was 12 and we were at a pub around the corner with a friend for an hour or so. Evenings is a very different kettle of fish than daytime.

I know some parents who have children at cubs/scouts and use the time to exercise.

WoodenReindeer · 17/12/2021 09:31

13 here for an hour /more than 10mins. She isnt comfortable us leaving her and 10 year old in the evening so it will be a while before we get to go to friends for a meal!

Could they join a club (scouts?) Or afterschool club?

Seeline · 17/12/2021 09:38

During the day probably 10/11

During the evening, probably around 13.

Comedycook · 17/12/2021 09:42

They were 11 when I would leave them for ten minutes while I was dropping sibling at brownies.

Age 12...left alone for an hour after school while I took youngest to an appointment.

Now 13... nearly 14. Leave alone for a couple of hours max...but I wouldn't go too far from home.

BogRollBOGOF · 17/12/2021 09:42

DS (10) is left for up to an hour and a half while I go to my youth group 300m away.
There's one minor side road between us and he gets a regular air stewardess routine of emergency exits and practice phone calls.
He loves the peace and quiet and it's the highlight of his week!

A couple of years ago I talked about it with my Safeguarding friend who's known him since birth, and she'd have felt happy with me leaving him the summer he was 9.5- that didn't happen because of Covid. That's bearing in mind his personality and close proximity.

At this point (he's turning 11) I want him to have an emergency contact avaliable in our neighbourhood within 10 minutes and have left the neighbourhood with a friend briefed "on call". Realistically if I was a working parent, childcare would cease next summer at 11.5 so we're building gently to that level of independence. He has ASD and tends to be risk averse and happy with his own company.

The key thing for me is that he is comfortable and knows what to do if there is a problem. That doesn't come at a precise age.

TenThousandSpoons · 17/12/2021 09:54

Age 10

Hemingwayscatz · 17/12/2021 10:25

DD was 8 when we started leaving her for an hour but she was with 10 year old DS. They’re 9 and 11 now and we leave them for 2 hour stretches very occasionally. It’s just when they don’t want to come somewhere boring and they’re perfectly safe and fine. 11 year old has a phone should he need to contact us, never does though. Door is locked but they have a key if needs be. They’re honestly fine, just sit playing games and they enjoy being left to it way more than being dragged to the shops or whatever.

minipie · 17/12/2021 10:27

Interested as to why evening is seen as less safe than daytime? Surely if they are asleep it’s less likely they will end up in some sort of trouble?

I have a (very clever but not very sensible) 9 yr old and it will be a while before I’d be leaving her home alone. So much depends on the child’s personality.

Angel2702 · 17/12/2021 10:30

Year six ready for preparing for secondary school. Very dependent on the child though and how they would cope in an emergency.

Littleducks · 17/12/2021 10:36

Around 8. Same age as able to walk to local shop crossing residential roads. Well prepared with ground rules and what to do in different scenarios.

Didn't leave them asleep until teenagers as I feel riskier to wake up and deal with an emergency however unlikely that would be.

Sensible age varies so much based on child, personality, surroundings etc.

wendz86 · 17/12/2021 10:36

I have left my 10 year old for an hour a couple of times during day, wouldn't when it's dark.

Comedycook · 17/12/2021 10:37

8 seems very young to me...too young imo to be left a home alone and too young to be walking to places by themselves

ExquisitelyDecorated · 17/12/2021 10:40

They aren't asleep early evening by the time they are 10 or 11 though, mine were up till past 9 at night once they were secondary school age. Evenings are different, they are leas likely to want to go and seek help from a neighbour once its dark, knocks at the door are scarier etc.

For us it was 9 to nip out to fetch the other one from school (5 min walk each way). That was the rule at first, they had the landline phone with our and grandparents numbers on speed dial and a list of which was which on the wall and we had to be able to get back within 5 mins. Built up gradually to whole working day by 13/14 and short evenings locally by about then too but building up in the same way, exercise class 5 mins drive away first, then further away gradually.

minipie · 17/12/2021 10:44

That’s true Exquisitely. Mine goes to sleep quite early (8pm) as she’s an early riser but it’s getting later.

chasingthunder · 17/12/2021 10:46

I leave my eldest, he's 10 for an hour or two when I need too.

LadyDanburysHat · 17/12/2021 10:47

DD is my youngest and is 10. She is left home for about an hour at a time now. DSes were the same, DS1 was home alone in the school holidays from 9-5 from age 12 when he was in high school.

zafferana · 17/12/2021 10:49

12 for an hour or two. I leave 10-year-old for brief periods of time now - filling the car up, getting some milk, picking up a parcel - that kind of thing.

Alpenguin · 17/12/2021 10:49

I’d say 10

Interested as to why evening is seen as less safe than daytime? Surely if they are asleep it’s less likely they will end up in some sort of trouble?

Children are considered unreliable to wake up as they don’t tend to hear fire alarms.

middleager · 17/12/2021 10:51

Day time - Y7
Evening - Year 9

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 17/12/2021 10:53

Mine is 8 (almost 9) and very grown up but I wouldn't leave her on her own

MojoJojo71 · 17/12/2021 10:56

Probably not until they were at secondary school although maybe before if she seems ready. DD who is 9 currently goes to after school club and I pick her up but once she’s started secondary I’ve said it’s up to her, she can stay at school or come home and wait for me there instead. I think once I’m happy for her to travel safely to school on her own it follows that she’d be ok at home.

Echobelly · 17/12/2021 10:58

During lockdown we started leaving them to go to a shop when they really didn't want to go or just to have a walk together so we had some time alone. They were 11 and 8.

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