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Anyone else find this creepy?!

90 replies

LoLo1304 · 15/12/2021 12:53

So I’m a single parent, my sister looked after my 19 month old daughter for a few hours one afternoon she loves playing with her two kids. Anyway when she brought her back she was repeatedly saying ‘mama’ when she dropped her off, she has said it before but not often at all. I said why is she all off sudden repeatedly saying mama? she states she kept saying where’s mama, let’s take you home to mama etc so I didn’t think much off it. However, that night she also kept saying daddy, so I was quite pissed off as obviously she doesn’t have a daddy at home. I mentioned to her the next day and she said ‘oh she was calling B (her partner) daddy I was like what, she said yeah must off picked it up off the kids. I said to her I’m very creeped out she has come home from a few hour play at your house calling you mama and .. daddy. I said she’s never picked it up off the kids before and we’ve spent all day there. I know how DD picks up words is by repeatedly saying them words. She does call me mama too sometimes not often. But everytime we see my sister now she calls her mama. My sister actually said to me why you getting so worked up over it all kids call other people mama. I said no I’m creeped out over the fact you’ve purposefully taught her that, she’s too young to understand what the word mama means but she associates that word with her because she has repeatedly said it to her that day? Does anyone else find this weird or just me? My sister starts saying she’s not taught her anything blah blah.

But I’m due to start work after Xmas, the only help I’ve got is my sister and I will need her to pick her up from nursery one day and have her a few hours one day a week till I come home from work. But now after this strange episode, I really don’t want her to have her.

OP posts:
LoLo1304 · 15/12/2021 14:21

@sillysmiles most definitely not reaching but thank you for your reply. I said it in the original post she come home saying both mama and she said she was calling her partner ‘daddy’.

OP posts:
Starcaller · 15/12/2021 14:22

It sounds like your sister is going be really helping you out, so is there a reason you're so suspicious of her motives yet were previously happy for her to look after your DD? Is there backstory as to why you are assuming the worst of her?

If you don't trust her for whatever reason, which it sounds like you don't, then you need to find alternative childcare arrangements.

ClaudiaJ1 · 15/12/2021 14:23

OP I agree with you. It is creepy and she's definitely taught her to say that. Can you get childcare or parents or friends? Even if you have to leave her with your sister I'd start today to register for the waiting list at all the childcare centres around you. You won't be able to get a place right away, but at least you will be in the queue for one. Soonest done the sooner you get a place.

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Babyiskickingmyribs · 15/12/2021 14:23

My toddler has divided all people into mummies daddies girls and boys. Seriously all adult women are mummies and adult mum are daddies. She’s not understood yet that not all adults are parents or that there’s a difference between her mummy and daddy and someone else’s mummy and daddy.

Starcaller · 15/12/2021 14:24

Also perhaps she did teach her those words, without the expectation your DD would use them for her. So what? Sounds to me like a productive day if she's learned to say two new words in a couple of hours!

Highlanders372 · 15/12/2021 14:24

@sillysmiles most definitely not reaching but thank you for your reply. I said it in the original post she come home saying both mama and she said she was calling her partner ‘daddy’.
OP’s posts

That's what children do! With respect, have you been around toddlers much? Honestly, this is all perfectly normal, nothing creepy at all going on here from what you've told us.

Fupoffyagrasshole · 15/12/2021 14:27

Jeez this is actually crazy

Your daughter was obviously copying the other kids

Mummyoflittledragon · 15/12/2021 14:28

Your sister may be trying to get her non verbal child to say mama and dada and your dd copied her. Or copying her child, who speaks. Possibly both. She will interact differently with her children when you are not around. You sound really paranoid.

nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 15/12/2021 14:30

When you're there with her she comes to you for things. When you're not, she has to go to your sister. Her cousins are calling her mama so at 19 months she likely thinks its her name so she calls her that too. They don't get what they're saying they just parrot.

Somethingsnappy · 15/12/2021 14:32

@ClaudiaJ1

OP I agree with you. It is creepy and she's definitely taught her to say that. Can you get childcare or parents or friends? Even if you have to leave her with your sister I'd start today to register for the waiting list at all the childcare centres around you. You won't be able to get a place right away, but at least you will be in the queue for one. Soonest done the sooner you get a place.
She probably has taught her to say it, but not in the way that you and this poster are thinking. The fact your DC is now calling her and her DH 'mama' and 'daddy' sounds more like it got lost in translation somewhat!
Aroundtheworldin80moves · 15/12/2021 14:36

At that age my elder DD called all women Mama and all men (and female soldiers in uniform) Dadda.
The first person who got a unique name from her was her baby sister (Baabie)

These were pretty much the only words she could say until she 2.5.

Polmuggle · 15/12/2021 14:38

Honestly OP if you mistrust your sister the point of accusing her of this and not believing her denial, then why is she looking after your child?

LoLo1304 · 15/12/2021 14:39

@Somethingsnappy she’s is a fab mother and auntie. I trust her completely with my child I think this post has blew up a little bit now. But what I mean is I would never teach someone else’s child the words mama and daddy, it’ll only confuse them etc she taught it her knowing she would repeat it back to them it’s simple to know that! I’d never take that away from another mum teaching there child to say mama that’s all.

OP posts:
MummyGummy · 15/12/2021 14:40

Toddlers watch and copy the behaviour of other children more readily than grown ups, so most likely explanation is she’s heard the other children call him daddy and is copying it.

Minniem2020 · 15/12/2021 14:41

DS3 greets his teacher every morning with "morning mum". He also calls random men Daddy , quite embarrassing when he shouts it at strangers in the street. My niece went through a phase of calling me Nana. I wouldn't read too much into it op.A lot of kids do this

User310 · 15/12/2021 14:45

It’s probably because when your sister is speaking to her children she says things like ‘come to mummy’ and ‘let’s go ask dadda’ to her children and because you weren’t there she picked it up.

I think you’re over reacting massively and if I was sister I would be freaked out by you.

mistermagpie · 15/12/2021 14:47

I've got three kids, so have watched them all learn to talk, they sometimes get hooked on a word and repeat it to death, I think this is what's happened with mama here. They also repeat words and when you're 19 months old, any word you can say properly is a treat so it's fun to keep saying - I think this is what's happened with daddy. It's also maybe an unfamiliar word (you said no daddy in the house?) which makes it fun too.

Unless there is some creepy back story here, I'd say you're overthinking.

mistermagpie · 15/12/2021 14:48

@Babyiskickingmyribs

My toddler has divided all people into mummies daddies girls and boys. Seriously all adult women are mummies and adult mum are daddies. She’s not understood yet that not all adults are parents or that there’s a difference between her mummy and daddy and someone else’s mummy and daddy.
My son did this. Then later he thought my name was mummy and got annoyed when other women got called mummy too. His mind was blown when he learned I actually have a name!
TuftyMarmoset · 15/12/2021 14:58

Very strange post OP. What do you think is more likely, that your sister was teacher your DD to call her mum? Or that she and your cousin were talking to her and she’s repeating words she heard?
And what’s wrong with the latter - wouldn’t it be weird if she called you something else to your DD?

Unsure33 · 15/12/2021 14:59

you asked - its not creepy - let it go.

CheshireChat · 15/12/2021 15:04

LoLo1304 your sister wants to hear her child say "mama", not yours! And I think it's really off for you to imagine this narrative.

Prinnny · 15/12/2021 15:09

I think you’re the creepy one! It’s like you’re trying to insinuate your sister wants your daughter to call her mum to make up for her non verbal son Confused

TheYearOfSmallThings · 15/12/2021 15:19

You are sounding a little crazy. Very clearly your DC has picked up the names her cousins are calling their parents.

I am also a single mother and I used to find it awkward when DS would call random men Daddy (which most toddlers do). But that was my issue to deal with, and I suspect yours too. If your DC had a father at home you would laugh this off without a thought.

Heepers · 15/12/2021 15:37

My DD called every woman she met mummy and every man daddy for months and months.

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 15/12/2021 15:52

If she has a non verbal child then she's likely repeating words over and over all the time and your dd has just picked it up , especially as the other child would also be saying mummy and daddy while she was there

Honestly get over it, plenty of people will teach your children words. Just wait until they start school

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