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Anyone else find this creepy?!

90 replies

LoLo1304 · 15/12/2021 12:53

So I’m a single parent, my sister looked after my 19 month old daughter for a few hours one afternoon she loves playing with her two kids. Anyway when she brought her back she was repeatedly saying ‘mama’ when she dropped her off, she has said it before but not often at all. I said why is she all off sudden repeatedly saying mama? she states she kept saying where’s mama, let’s take you home to mama etc so I didn’t think much off it. However, that night she also kept saying daddy, so I was quite pissed off as obviously she doesn’t have a daddy at home. I mentioned to her the next day and she said ‘oh she was calling B (her partner) daddy I was like what, she said yeah must off picked it up off the kids. I said to her I’m very creeped out she has come home from a few hour play at your house calling you mama and .. daddy. I said she’s never picked it up off the kids before and we’ve spent all day there. I know how DD picks up words is by repeatedly saying them words. She does call me mama too sometimes not often. But everytime we see my sister now she calls her mama. My sister actually said to me why you getting so worked up over it all kids call other people mama. I said no I’m creeped out over the fact you’ve purposefully taught her that, she’s too young to understand what the word mama means but she associates that word with her because she has repeatedly said it to her that day? Does anyone else find this weird or just me? My sister starts saying she’s not taught her anything blah blah.

But I’m due to start work after Xmas, the only help I’ve got is my sister and I will need her to pick her up from nursery one day and have her a few hours one day a week till I come home from work. But now after this strange episode, I really don’t want her to have her.

OP posts:
badg3r · 15/12/2021 13:28

Without knowing any back story, I would not be surprised at all if me kids did this. Ours call the neighbour daddy, they just copy his kid. Kids learn things so fast. She doesn't think that your sister is her mum, if it bothers you then ask your sister to correct her.

SweetsAndChocolates · 15/12/2021 13:28

She's picked it up from her cousins. My DD did the same, never picked anything up and then all of a sudden stared calling my BIL daddy. Not creepy, that's how kids work.

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 15/12/2021 13:28

No I still don't see your point. One day your daughter didn't walk, and then she did! So she didn't used to say mama and now she does! It doesn't occur to children to save their 'firsts' for when their primary parent is around I'm afraid.

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Name1232 · 15/12/2021 13:29

It's not strange at all! My nephew is 3 and still quite often calls me mummy 'my name' instead of aunty 'my name' before correcting it, and when he was smaller it would always be mama because it was what he was constantly hearing my kids say.
One of mine also used 'daddy' for any adult for a while, including me. It just meant she wanted something and learnt that it got attention but seemed to take a bit longer to connect it to just being for one person, so depending on your daughter's level of speech it could just be that she's picked up on mama getting her a response from you, and mama and Dada getting her cousins a response from their parents and isn't realising what it even means.

minipie · 15/12/2021 13:30

Toddlers do new stuff all the time OP. Speech develops in leaps especially around this age. Ok all her previous words are ones she’s been taught, but now she’s had a developmental leap and is able to copy words more quickly.

Be happy your DD’s speech is coming along rather than paranoid about your sister. Unless there’s a massive drip feed back story coming.

Skeumorph · 15/12/2021 13:33

Get a childminder. You clearly, clearly don't really feel your sister has your back. So this isn't going to work.

Frymetothemoon · 15/12/2021 13:39

My god-daughter used to call everyone she knew well "daddy". She's a fully functioning adult

TheMooch · 15/12/2021 13:40

Do you think your sister is teaching your daughter to call her mama and her partner dadda to somehow take on these roles?

As you've said your sister has actively talked about you "where's mama" etc. And as babies develop they copy more and more.She might be teaching her this to surprise you at being called mama? If she's hearing your sister refer to her husband as Dada to her own children your daughter will also pick this up.

If you think it's more than that , something sinister then get other childcare arrangements sorted.

sillysmiles · 15/12/2021 13:41

@LoLo1304

My argument is, I spent 24/7 with my DD I’ve hardly ever left her, I have spent so much time with up at my sisters and she has never ever picked up on it before. One off her children is non verbal. My daughter does know a few words but they’ve been taught as if repeatedly said to her until she says it back. She has never just copied words just like that. My sister did say she was repeatedly saying mama to her like where’s mama etc she has said she was saying that, and then calling her partner daddy. Again someone must have repeatedly off said it to her for her to repeat. Please bare in mind I spend all day every day with her I know how she picks up things.
So you think your sister and her partner sat your daughter down and drilled into her to call her mama and him dada?

What is really more likely, honestly?
That she's learnt a new word and is mimicking it or that your sister by minding your child is trying to usurp your position in her life?

Your sister has kids already - I'm guessing her niece calling her mama in no way has the same emotional significance as her own kids calling her mama.
I've got to wonder why you'd even think this of your sister.

Frymetothemoon · 15/12/2021 13:41

I used to call my mother by her first name (because that's what my dad called her). Your DD is still working things out. If everyone has been calling him "daddy", then it's easy to see why she would be too. You sound very anxious

GoodPrincessWenceslas · 15/12/2021 13:41

[quote LoLo1304]**@Greenfields124* @GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat* but I’ve spent so so much time there with them all and she’s never ever said it before just found it strange the day I leave her for a few hours, she comes home saying it. One off her children doesn’t speak he’s non verbal, so it’s only one off them at 3 yr olds and she’s never copied it off her before.[/quote]
Childen do just pick up words and sayings and suddenly run with them and keep repeating them - they're learning all the time.

Inthewainscoting · 15/12/2021 13:43

OP, how many 4 or 5 year olds do you know who call the wrong person Mummy or Daddy except now and then by mistake (e.g. calling the teacher Mummy and having the rest of the class laugh a bit)?
I don't think this is anything to worry about.

LalalalalalaLand123 · 15/12/2021 13:43

I fail to see the problem OP. Your child is just copying.
But the real problem i see is that you dont trust your sister and her DH, for some reason. So please stop leaving your child with them.

Greenfields124 · 15/12/2021 13:44

Yes I still dont think it's creepy OP.
Kids say and do some funny things.
Shes so little, I think you are being paranoid, sorry.

allofthecheese · 15/12/2021 13:45

I also think you're overthinking. Kids are so random sometimes. One day they barely say the word you've taught them and the next they're repeating it all the time without a prompt. She's most likely copying her cousins. I don't think it's 'creepy' unless there's some other back story here?

LoLo1304 · 15/12/2021 13:46

@Highlanders372 well it might sound as if I’m being paranoid or whatever other being have suggested. But her son is non verbal, she constantly saying I can’t wait for him to call me mama blah blah. So she comes home after a few hours there saying mama mama. No I’m not saying she wants her to think off her as mama but I think she liked teaching and hearing her say ‘mama’ if this makes sense.

OP posts:
MacavityTheDentistsCat · 15/12/2021 13:47

This is totally normal, OP. I know it can be quite hurtful to hear your child call another woman Mama but your daughter really is just copying her cousins and going through a normal stage in language development.

LoLo1304 · 15/12/2021 13:51

@allofthecheese well I might just overreacting and being paranoid! But her youngest son is non verbal and she is constantly saying she wishes he would call her mama and can’t wait till he does etc. So I do think that she liked teaching her and hearing her say ‘mama’ if this makes sense 🙈 and also don’t forgot she was saying daddy too all off a sudden. I’ll be very surprised if all off a sudden she’s picked up both daddy and mama in one night! Dunno might just be me just feel they’ve both taught it and wanted to hear her say it that’s all 🙈

OP posts:
1forAll74 · 15/12/2021 13:52

Goodness me, you are overthinking this big time.

shakingmytambourineatyou · 15/12/2021 13:58

My youngest used to call Ronan Keating 'daddy' with more than a little wishful thinking from me Grin. I think you sound paranoid and ungrateful and I wouldn't want to look after your DC if I was your sister.

Highlanders372 · 15/12/2021 14:09

LoLo1304

@Highlanders372 well it might sound as if I’m being paranoid or whatever other being have suggested. But her son is non verbal, she constantly saying I can’t wait for him to call me mama blah blah. So she comes home after a few hours there saying mama mama. No I’m not saying she wants her to think off her as mama but I think she liked teaching and hearing her say mama

That's not creepy then is it? It's just a mum encouraging the children in her care to talk. Surely that's a good thing?

I dont think it's fair for you to use your sister as childcare if you're going to find something as innocent as this 'creepy'. You have to really trust the person they're with. Have a look at local nurseries, you might find that you're entitled to funding for a place.

Coyoacan · 15/12/2021 14:10

Children in pre-pandemic times learnt words from other children, more than anything an adult wants to teach them.

I'm afraid you are being paranoid and will, unfortunately, lose the support of your sister if you keep it up

Highlanders372 · 15/12/2021 14:11

Also bare in mind that children do suddenly pick up words, they have explosions in their vocabulary so it's very possible that she did pick it up after hearing it briefly especially if she's copying the 3 year old.

sillysmiles · 15/12/2021 14:12

[quote LoLo1304]@allofthecheese well I might just overreacting and being paranoid! But her youngest son is non verbal and she is constantly saying she wishes he would call her mama and can’t wait till he does etc. So I do think that she liked teaching her and hearing her say ‘mama’ if this makes sense 🙈 and also don’t forgot she was saying daddy too all off a sudden. I’ll be very surprised if all off a sudden she’s picked up both daddy and mama in one night! Dunno might just be me just feel they’ve both taught it and wanted to hear her say it that’s all 🙈[/quote]
Even if this is the case - so what? I still think you are reaching.

PinotPony · 15/12/2021 14:20

Huge over reaction!

Young children learn new language and skills in fits and starts. They'll hear certain words and mimic them, often instantly. Wait until your DD overhears you swear at another driver and spends the rest of the day saying "wanker wanker wanker" to anyone who'll listen!

Your sister having a non-verbal child and wishing they'd say Mama is no evidence that she's coached your child to say it. You're being paranoid.