Non twee funeral poem

[Francounder]

Does anyone have a suggestion for something not too sentimental and cloying for a funeral poem? Don't want anything religious and don't want anything that implies the person is still here, or will be reunited later.

How about Death Makes A Crown of Love by Greg Gilbert? Shirt, but beautiful

Death makes a crown of love,
A mantle to take across the threshold
As a sign of accomplished living:
You are loved,
You have loved,
You have lived.

*short, obv

That's absolutely beautiful BonneBicyclette.

I really like this one. It would need a bit of tweaking to use at a funeral but might work. www.poeticous.com/adrian-mitchell/death-is-smaller-than-i-thought

I'm so sorry for your loss OP

My mum & me are Seamus Heaney fans and actually I love his poetry because of her. She loves the 3rd poem from Clearances series. It makes her think of time spent with her mother and actually reminds me of Sunday mornings spent with mum. Is there anything that makes you think about your mum op?

"When all the others were away at Mass I was all hers as we peeled potatoes.
They broke the silence, let fall one by one
Like solder weeping off the soldering iron:
Cold comforts set between us, things to share
Gleaming in a bucket of clean water.
And again let fall. Little pleasant splashes
From each other’s work would bring us to our senses.

So while the parish priest at her bedside
Went hammer and tongs at the prayers for the dying
And some were responding and some crying
I remembered her head bent towards my head,
Her breath in mine, our fluent dipping knives–
Never closer the whole rest of our lives.

Look at Neruda.
This one particularly:

If suddenly you do not exist,
if suddenly you no longer live,
I shall live on.

I do not dare,
I do not dare to write it,
if you die.

I shall live on.

For where a man has no voice,
there, my voice.

Where blacks are beaten,
I cannot be dead.
When my brothers go to prison
I shall go with them.

When victory,
not my victory,
but the great victory comes,
even though I am mute I must speak;
I shall see it come even
though I am blind.

No, forgive me.
If you no longer live,
if you, beloved, my love,
if you have died,
all the leaves will fall in my breast,
it will rain on my soul night and day,
the snow will burn my heart,
I shall walk with frost and fire and death and snow,
my feet will want to walk to where you are sleeping, but
I shall stay alive,
because above all things
you wanted me indomitable,
and, my love, because you know that I am not only a man
but all mankind.

The Day the World Stood Still
John Cooper Clarke

Not funereal especially, but thought provoking.

johncooperclarke.com/poems/day-the-world-stood-still

3kids that Seamus Heaney is one of my all time favourites. Love it

[quote TragicallyUnbeyachted]@TrickyD that Henry Scott-Holland one that is very popular is actually an extract from a longer sermon that's explicitly arguing that it's the WRONG way to think about death -- a tempting-but-erroneous mindset.[/quote]
Thank you very much for pointing that out; I had no idea.

@dementedma I think it's my favorite poem of his, along with Mid Term Break. BBC radio 4 have been doing a 15 min series on Seamus Heaney all week you might get it on BBC sounds if you haven't already been listening. It's read by Adrian Dunbar. It's really interesting.

I love the first stanza of Rumi's On The Day I Die.

On the day I die, when I'm being carried
toward the grave, don't weep. Don't say,

He's gone! He's gone. Death has nothing to do with going away. The sun sets and

the moon sets, but they're not gone.
Death is a coming together. The tomb

looks like a prison, but it's really
release into union. The human seed goes

down in the ground like a bucket into
the well where Joseph is. It grows and

comes up full of some unimagined beauty.
Your mouth closes here, and immediately

opens with a shout of joy there.

----

I like it because for religious people it can be read as a reference to heaven or some kind of afterlife, but also it reminds us that our bodies go back into the earth and provide nourishment for nature, and so we go on in the life that comes next.

For something entirely non-religious, DH's (atheist) best friend read Farewell My Friends by Rabindranath Tagore at DH's funeral, and it was perfect.

Farewell my friends
It was beautiful
As long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets
Whatsoever, said
The pain I’ll leave behind.
Those dear hearts
Who love and care...
And the strings pulling
At the heart and soul...
The strong arms
That held me up
When my own strength
Let me down.
At the turning of my life
I came across
Good friends,
Friends who stood by me
Even when time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and
Bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears
For I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad
Do think of me
For that’s what I’ll like
When you live in the hearts
Of those you love
Remember then
You never die.

I love that Heaney poem @3kidsareenough. It was one of DH's favourites - he lost his mum at 21. Not long after he died, his sister and I took part in a thing where an actor called you up and read you two random poems - they read us that, and this by Derek Mahon, and it honestly felt like a message from DH. Another beautiful poem.

How should I not be glad to contemplate
the clouds clearing beyond the dormer window
and a high tide reflected on the ceiling?
There will be dying, there will be dying,
but there is no need to go into that.
The poems flow from the hand unbidden
and the hidden source is the watchful heart.
The sun rises in spite of everything
and the far cities are beautiful and bright.
I lie here in a riot of sunlight
watching the day break and the clouds flying.
Everything is going to be all right.

@AvocadoPlant

She Is Gone (He Is Gone)

You can shed tears that she is gone
Or you can smile because she has lived

You can close your eyes and pray that she will come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that she has left

Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her
Or you can be full of the love that you shared

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday

You can remember her and only that she is gone
Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what she would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

I really love this one...I'm a celebrant and so have read many poems at funerals (and happier events too of course), and this is one that is just so healing I think. ♥️

Condolences, OP ♥️

@peachgreen

I love that Heaney poem *@3kidsareenough*. It was one of DH's favourites - he lost his mum at 21. Not long after he died, his sister and I took part in a thing where an actor called you up and read you two random poems - they read us that, and this by Derek Mahon, and it honestly felt like a message from DH. Another beautiful poem.

How should I not be glad to contemplate
the clouds clearing beyond the dormer window
and a high tide reflected on the ceiling?
There will be dying, there will be dying,
but there is no need to go into that.
The poems flow from the hand unbidden
and the hidden source is the watchful heart.
The sun rises in spite of everything
and the far cities are beautiful and bright.
I lie here in a riot of sunlight
watching the day break and the clouds flying.
Everything is going to be all right.

Ah - have you seen Andrew Scott reading the Mahon poem? It’s the most beautiful reading - gives me goosebumps. Here

Genuinely, no word of a lie, was watching that just before I refreshed this page @TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross! He's so talented and reads it perfectly.