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Non twee funeral poem

90 replies

Francounder · 15/12/2021 07:11

Does anyone have a suggestion for something not too sentimental and cloying for a funeral poem? Don't want anything religious and don't want anything that implies the person is still here, or will be reunited later.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Dolphinnoises · 15/12/2021 10:19

It sounds like Death is nothing at all might work best for your Dad.

SamhainToImbolc · 15/12/2021 11:32

[https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/45000/remember-56d224509b7ae]

Remember by Christina Rossetti.

I think it's beautiful.

SamhainToImbolc · 15/12/2021 11:33

www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/45000/remember-56d224509b7ae

Sorry. Link here.

Evenstar · 15/12/2021 11:40

Heaven Haven by Gerard Manley Hopkins

Non twee funeral poem
Hazelnut5 · 15/12/2021 12:08

If I be the first of us to die,
Let grief not blacken long your sky.
Be bold yet modest in your grieving.
There is a change but not a leaving.
For just as death is part of life,
The dead live on forever in the living.
And all the gathered riches of our journey,
The moments shared, the mysteries explored,
The steady layering of intimacy stored,
The things that made us laugh or weep or sing,
The joy of sunlit snow or first unfurling of the spring,
The wordless language of look and touch,
The knowing,

Each giving and each taking,
These are not flowers that fade,
Nor trees that fall and crumble,
Nor are they stone,
For even stone cannot the wind and rain withstand
And mighty mountain peaks in time reduce to sand.
What we were, we are.
What we had, we have.

A conjoined past imperishably present.
So when you walk the wood where once we walked together
And scan in vain the dappled bank beside you for my shadow,
Or pause where we always did upon the hill to gaze across the land,
And spotting something, reach by habit for my hand,
And finding none, feel sorrow start to steal upon you,

Be still.
Close your eyes.
Breathe.

Listen for my footfall in your heart.
I am not gone but merely walk within you.

  • The Smoke Jumper
Nicholas Evans
TeenMinusTests · 15/12/2021 12:13

I've always fancied the Tennyson poem Crossing the Bar

Sunset and evening star,
And one clear call for me!
And may there be no moaning of the bar,
When I put out to sea,

But such a tide as moving seems asleep,
Too full for sound and foam,
When that which drew from out the boundless deep
Turns again home.

Twilight and evening bell,
And after that the dark!
And may there be no sadness of farewell,
When I embark;

For tho' from out our bourne of Time and Place
The flood may bear me far,
I hope to see my Pilot face to face
When I have crost the bar.

Lentil63 · 15/12/2021 12:20

I’m very sorry for your loss. 🌺
I read this at my dad's internment:

They Are Not Dead
They are not dead,
Who leave us this great heritage
Of remembered joy.
They still live in our hearts,
In the happiness we knew,
In the dreams we shared.
They still breathe,
In the lingering fragrance windblown,
From their favourite flowers.
They still smile in the moonlight's silver
And laugh in the sunlight's sparkling gold.

They still speak in the echoes of words
We've heard them say again and again.
They still move,
In the rhythm of waving grasses,
In the dance of the tossing branches.
They are not dead;
Their memory is warm in our hearts,
Comfort in our sorrow.
They are not apart from us,
But a part of us
For love is eternal,
And those we love shall be with us
Throughout all eternity.
Anon

MeDearNoDear · 15/12/2021 12:23

I had the two below at my mum's recent funeral

When I come to the end of the road
And the sun has set for me
I want no rites in a gloom filled room
Why cry for a soul set free?
Miss me a little, but not for long
And not with your head bowed low
Remember the love that once we shared
Miss me, but let me go.
For this is a journey we all must take
And each must go alone.
It’s all part of the master plan
A step on the road to home.
When you are lonely and sick at heart
Go to the friends we know.
Laugh at all the things we used to do
Miss me, but let me go.

and

A limb has fallen
from the family tree.
I keep hearing a voice that says,

"Grieve not for me.”
Remember the best times,
The laughter, the song.
The good life I lived
While I was strong.
Continue my heritage,
I'm counting on you.
Keep smiling and surely
The sun will shine through.
My mind is at ease,
My soul is at rest.
Remembering all,
How I truly was blessed.
Continue traditions,
No matter how small.
Go on with your life,
Don’t worry about falls
I miss you all dearly,
But now take my rest
Think of me sometimes
And remember my best

CrimbleCrumble1 · 15/12/2021 12:23

Dash poem.

Sausagedogsarethebest · 15/12/2021 12:30

One of our celebrants almost always reads this Glyn Shipton poem at the funerals he conducts:

Miss me but let me go
When I come to the end of the road,
And the sun has set for me.
I want no rites in a gloom-filled room
Why cry for a soul set free?
Miss me a little - but not too long,
And not with your head bowed low.
Remember the love that we once shared,
Miss me - but let me go.
For this is a journey that we all must take,
And each must go alone,
It is all part of nature's plan,
A step on the road to home.
When you are lonely and sick of heart,
Go to the friends we know,
And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds,
Miss me but let me go.

Sausagedogsarethebest · 15/12/2021 12:30

Someone beat me to it above :-)

Condolences for your loss OP

memberofsomebadclubs · 15/12/2021 12:34

@TeenMinusTests

I've always fancied the Tennyson poem Crossing the Bar

Sunset and evening star,
And one clear call for me!
And may there be no moaning of the bar,
When I put out to sea,

But such a tide as moving seems asleep,
Too full for sound and foam,
When that which drew from out the boundless deep
Turns again home.

Twilight and evening bell,
And after that the dark!
And may there be no sadness of farewell,
When I embark;

For tho' from out our bourne of Time and Place
The flood may bear me far,
I hope to see my Pilot face to face
When I have crost the bar.

I was just about to reply with this poem too! I love the idea of the life as the safe harbour (the bar here is the edge between the harbour and the sea) and death as a gentle freeing adventure off towards the sunset.
memberofsomebadclubs · 15/12/2021 12:36

Sorry just to add I wasn't explaining the meaning to the person who posted it! I meant for anyone else reading it who might be unfamiliar with the term!

snowmansballs33 · 15/12/2021 12:36

I really like this one by Henry Van Dyke and it's really not depressing, quite uplifting.

Non twee funeral poem
TeenMinusTests · 15/12/2021 12:39

(I think the 'bar' is a natural mound of sand caused by tides, which can also cause unusual noises with the wind/sea.)

squashyhat · 15/12/2021 12:45

@snowmansballs33

I really like this one by Henry Van Dyke and it's really not depressing, quite uplifting.
I cam on this thread to say this one. I read it at my Dad's funeral. I think the idea that the dead are not gone but just out of sight is lovely and the imagery of a ship in full sail is so calming.
snowmansballs33 · 15/12/2021 13:15

@squashyhat it's really beautiful isn't it. Very comforting and calming like you say.

Guacamole001 · 15/12/2021 13:22

MartyHart that poem was the one I was thinking of. Great minds and all that lol.

Francounder · 15/12/2021 13:43

Thank you for all your kind suggestions. Anything that suggests the dead are just out of sight or can be found in the breeze or will be going to 'heaven' is definitely out.

OP posts:
Quickchangeartiste · 15/12/2021 13:50

Leo Marks The life that I have
It’s actually a war code poem written in memory of his girlfriend who died.
No heaven, or god or angels.

Sorry for your loss OP, losing your mum really sucks. 💐

NMC2022 · 15/12/2021 13:52

What though the radiance which was once so bright
Be now forever taken from my sight,
Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower;
We will grieve not, rather find
Strength in what remains behind.

Thegirlwiththeeagereyes · 15/12/2021 14:07

So sorry for your loss. I read this at a funeral, wonder if it might be any good?

Afterglow - Helen Lowrie Marshall

I’d like the memory of me to be a happy one.
I’d like to leave an afterglow of smiles when life is done.
I’d like to leave an echo whispering softly down the ways,
Of happy times and laughing times and bright and sunny days.
I’d like the tears of those who grieve, to dry before the sun;
Of happy memories that I leave when life is done.

toomuchlaundry · 15/12/2021 14:10

Did your DM have a favourite song or poem? Maybe read that rather than a specific funeral poem.

SevenSteps · 15/12/2021 14:11

From too much love of living,
From hope and fear set free,
We thank with brief thanksgiving
Whatever gods may be
That no man lives for ever;
That dead men rise up never;
That even the weariest river
Winds somewhere safe to sea.

I do realise this wouldn't suit many people. I want it at my funeral though. Short, unsentimental yet to me at least, oddly comforting.

DelurkingAJ · 15/12/2021 14:53

Sorry for your loss. We used this at DDad’s funeral:

(Shakespeare from Cymbeline)
Fear no more the heat o’ the sun,
Nor the furious winter’s rages;
Thou thy worldly task hast done,
Home art gone, and ta’en thy wages:
Golden lads and girls all must,
As chimney-sweepers, come to dust.

Fear no more the frown o’ the great;
Thou art past the tyrant’s stroke;
Care no more to clothe and eat;
To thee the reed is as the oak:
The scepter, learning, physic, must
All follow this, and come to dust.

Fear no more the lightning flash,
Nor the all-dreaded thunder stone;
Fear not slander, censure rash;
Thou hast finished joy and moan:
All lovers young, all lovers must
Consign to thee, and come to dust.

No exorciser harm thee!
Nor no witchcraft charm thee!
Ghost unlaid forbear thee!
Nothing ill come near thee!
Quiet consummation have;
And renownèd be thy grave!