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Original poster

We need to do something about babies being killed in this country

91 replies

faithfulbird20 · 14/12/2021 15:00

Wtf is going on. Are we nation of monsters who don't have the love and care for our own offspring? I'm so upset I can't even function...

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 14/12/2021 15:05

We clearly aren’t a nation of baby killers. The recent deaths are so rare that they shocking and upsetting. Try and keep things in perspective.

What do you mean you are so upset you can’t even function? That doesn’t seem healthy at all unless you knew the child/family or have some other back story in your past.

frazzledali · 14/12/2021 15:08

@faithfulbird20

Wtf is going on. Are we nation of monsters who don't have the love and care for our own offspring? I'm so upset I can't even function...
you need to get some help. This is a hysterical reaction and shows really limited critical thinking.
milly74 · 14/12/2021 15:09

do not overlook lockdown played a huge part in this that cannot be ignored

IncompleteSenten · 14/12/2021 15:10

This happens all over the world. No country has no cases. It is very tragic.

LaurieFairyCake · 14/12/2021 15:10

Yes, very sad

Now move on - there's no point in thinking about it, there's literally nothing you can do

Skip the news, shut down social media

When I played bbc news earlier I asked Alexa to skip the top story - why would I need an awful news story in my head about a dead child 🤷‍♀️

AwkwardPaws27 · 14/12/2021 15:10

@faithfulbird20

Wtf is going on. Are we nation of monsters who don't have the love and care for our own offspring? I'm so upset I can't even function...
It's always happened; you only have to look at the NSPCC serious case review repository.
RobinPenguins · 14/12/2021 15:10

Are you concerned for your DC’s safety, or do you have a connection to the recent cases? Please seek some help because being too upset to function isn’t a healthy response to this.

Immaculatemisconception · 14/12/2021 15:12

I've worked as a health visitor and I had over 50 child protection cases on my caseload, as well as all the other families.

It was an impossible caseload. I couldn't see the at risk families often enough, never mind see all the others. I was just one HV in an office in an inner city. There were six of us altogether and there were many other health centres in the city.

This situation is the same up and down the country. When there is a death of a child, I'm heartbroken but not surprised. Child protection issues are a massive problem in this country. It's something that most people don't know about.

Whenever someone comes on here and asks if they should report a concern, I'm astonished how many people tell them to mind their own business. I think this is some of the problem these days. People live increasingly isolated lives, whereas when I grew up neighbours looked out for each other and I called many of my neighbours auntie.

We need to get back to communities that care about each other and look out for each other.

The safety of children is everyone's business.

Campfirewood · 14/12/2021 15:13

@RobinPenguins I have a lot of friends who were very upset over Arthur. Weren’t sleeping because of how upset they were after seeing the video of him.
I was also upset and struggled to sleep.
I’m of good mental health and have no connection to the cases. I’m otherwise pretty happy and driven in life.
Just a standard Mum with a heart in my chest.
I think the Op feels like a lot of us feel. And these cases do affect us.

RobinPenguins · 14/12/2021 15:23

[quote Campfirewood]@RobinPenguins I have a lot of friends who were very upset over Arthur. Weren’t sleeping because of how upset they were after seeing the video of him.
I was also upset and struggled to sleep.
I’m of good mental health and have no connection to the cases. I’m otherwise pretty happy and driven in life.
Just a standard Mum with a heart in my chest.
I think the Op feels like a lot of us feel. And these cases do affect us.[/quote]
It’s a perfectly normal reaction to feel upset. I didn’t watch the video footage, I knew it would upset me.

I don’t agree that many people feel so upset they can’t function.

PurpleDaisies · 14/12/2021 15:24

I think the Op feels like a lot of us feel. And these cases do affect us.

Are you or your friends so upset you can’t function?

RobinPenguins · 14/12/2021 15:26

Just a standard Mum with a heart in my chest.

And if you’re implying people who haven’t reacted the way you did don’t care or have a heart in their chest, then frankly you’re engaging in competitive grief and lack the empathy you're claiming to have so much of.

GreenLunchBox · 14/12/2021 15:28

@PurpleDaisies

We clearly aren’t a nation of baby killers. The recent deaths are so rare that they shocking and upsetting. Try and keep things in perspective.

What do you mean you are so upset you can’t even function? That doesn’t seem healthy at all unless you knew the child/family or have some other back story in your past.

They're not rare though, are they? One child a week dies at the hands of their parents in the UK
Original poster
faithfulbird20 · 14/12/2021 15:30

Function meaning I wasn't able to move for a few minutes. I'm not talking about being in my bed all day. But forget me, those poor poor children facing all that abuse. There must be a child every week dying due to this. It's horrific.

OP posts:
Original poster
faithfulbird20 · 14/12/2021 15:30

@Campfirewood thank you

OP posts:
TuesdayRuby · 14/12/2021 15:33

The vipers are quick to jump on this one!

Yes OP, how dare you have the audacity to create a post about a baby being murdered. You didn’t know her, you’re not allowed to have any feelings on this… didn’t you know? Hmm

CorrBlimeyGG · 14/12/2021 15:38

What do you expect after ten years of austerity? Blair admitted in 2010 that there was still so much more to do to protect vulnerable children, so what did the Tories do? Cut budgets to the core.

I don't know how social workers keep going, their caseloads are completely unmanageable and there's nothing they can do about it.

Immaculatemisconception · 14/12/2021 15:39

We clearly aren’t a nation of baby killers.

Sadly the reality is, that many babies and children are at risk.

BigGreen · 14/12/2021 15:41

I think it's really important to talk about this and not simply move on. As voters we do have the power to press our MPs and make proper funding for childrens services a political priority. Imagine if the private grief about Star and Arthur's torture was channelled into something politically real?

lottiegarbanzo · 14/12/2021 15:44

What you could do is campaign in favour parties that would spend more taxpayers' money on social workers.

Lottapianos · 14/12/2021 15:45

'Whenever someone comes on here and asks if they should report a concern, I'm astonished how many people tell them to mind their own business'

Totally agree. I used to work in safeguarding and most people have no clue what goes on. There's a perception that all parents are doing their very best by their child, and just have an occasional off day or snappy moment or whatever. It's just not the case. I worked with many parents who treated their children as just part of the furniture, or an endless pain in the backside, and that was on a good day. Having a child doesn't automatically turn you into a caring person

Cases like the one referred to here are utterly sickening. The two women involved sound deeply traumatised and are probably incapable of caring for anyone including themselves - that is IN NO WAY an excuse for treating that little girl as they did. There aren't any easy answers.

Immaculatemisconception · 14/12/2021 15:49

@BigGreen

I think it's really important to talk about this and not simply move on. As voters we do have the power to press our MPs and make proper funding for childrens services a political priority. Imagine if the private grief about Star and Arthur's torture was channelled into something politically real?
Absolutely agree. There have been many cuts in funding for children's services, including Health Visiting and Social Workers. At one time, I had access to services to help families who were hard to reach. Cuts were made in these local facilities and were used instead for Children's Centres. Unfortunately, the hard to reach families don't use Children's Centres.

Health Visitors are run ragged these days and are unable to provide the care they were trained to do. Much of their work is child protection, whereas as they trained to help families with their children, childhood illnesses, parental mental health, breastfeeding, child development, sleep, play, etc. Many are retiring and leaving the profession because they are so stressed.

RobinPenguins · 14/12/2021 15:54

Social care funding is not considered as important as health funding, because one is “our NHS”, “NHS angels” and the other is “local government bureaucrats”.

How often do you see people whinging about how they pay so much council tax and don’t get anything back for it because their bin collection has moved fortnightly?

This is what council funding is for.

Immaculatemisconception · 14/12/2021 15:58

Social Workers and Health Visitors used to have many avenues they could refer families to for support. We used to give individual support from Family Support Workers, who were often Nursery Nurses who had undergone further training.

I was able to refer struggling families to a scheme where their young children were collected in the morning and would spend the day with a family who would play with them, give them a bath, and a proper cooked meal. This was a funded scheme, with trained adults, some of whom were registered foster parents. This was a brilliant facility as it gave the children what they needed, they remained with their birth parents, and the birth parents had a lot of input from services.

Nevermakeit · 14/12/2021 16:01

I deliberately never watch the videos and try to avoid the photos. They stay in my head and I can't unsee them. In these cases, you get what happened from the headlines, now I am a mother myself I make myself not read the articles as whilst of course it's interesting, in my case it's not good for my mental health and wellbeing.
Same with upsetting films like 12 Years a Slave. I know it's a great film but never watched it purely because I know from some scenes in the trailer that I would have found it upsetting and it would have stayed in my mind.