Decluttering, getting rid of stuff vs feeling wasteful.

[ImFree2doasiwant]

I really, really need to reduce the amount of "stuff" in my house. It's starting to get me down. 2 dc so all the stuff that comes with them, and me not being very good at "wasting" things.

I also don't have a lot of money.

I'm really struggling with the best but most effective way to go about this. I have 2 bags in the car to go to a charity shop, but the nearest one is 7 miles away. I've tried selling stuff, some sells, some doesn't. I list it on Olio to give away, some goes, some doesn't. By the time it hasn't sold or been given away I'm tempted to just bin it. Because it's already taken up too much of my time and I could have just binned it to start with. I could go direct to charity shop but ...I'm skint. So I feel like I ought to try and get money back.

I'm terrible at procrastinating, can you tell?

Can anyone help?

For example, I have a bag full of small crap plastic toys that a friend left on the doorstep for DC. I dont want them, but feel terrible if I just put them in the bin!

But why? They’re crappy plastic toys. No one will miss them. Bin them.

You need feel no guilt for getting rid of things that are of no use to anyone when it comes right down to it.

I am doing a ruthless clear-out atm but I have charity shops very near to me so that’s not an issue. I also sell lots on eBay. I don’t have young children anymore so I’m not saddled with other people’s crap (uh I mean, toys) that they get out of throwing away by passing on to me. But if I was I would feel no compunction in just getting rid.

Gifting is best, lots say it’s tough to sell.
Most of us waste stuff, don’t be hard on yourself, choose more carefully

Another way to look at it is that your first responsibility is to yourself and your mental well-being because that is what enables you to look after your children. The whole world and all of the environmental disasters in it aren’t your problem to fix. Do what you can where you can - for example simply stop buying anything that’s just cheap tat. That’s within your power to do. Holding on to a load of physical and mental clutter because you feel bad about throwing some of it away isn’t good for you. It’s rubbish, it can be thrown away.

I hear you op. Im similar, I want the space, but could do with some cash. I have a system that works for me, found through trial and error.

1. Very small clothes i.e under one year - charity shop or give away on Freecycle/to the refuges/baby bank etc - it just doesn't sell second hand, there's absolutely loads about - huge bundles for little more than pennies. The market is saturated. Even the frugi, joules etc doesn't seem to sell.
2. Older than 1 year - branded things go individually on vinted - next, frugi, Boden etc. More high street/supermarket stuff - George, nutmeg etc, go well as bundles on eBay. I weigh it first and do a mix of clothes e g. a few trousers, 2 jumpers, bundle of t shirts, weigh to make sure it's less than 2kgs, then list for £2-3, plus small parc postage. This way, they seem to go reasonably quickly.

1. If it doesn't sell after a few tries, to the charity shop or give away, to get the space back.

I try and see it as, it's money that's already gone, but by gaining the space back, it gives the positive head space back.

For example I’d stop selling the stuff if it’s not working well. Give it all away - one trip per month/week/whatever to the charity shop. If you buy one less thing this month and next you will likely ‘make back’ that money that way.

@ImFree2doasiwant

For example, I have a bag full of small crap plastic toys that a friend left on the doorstep for DC. I dont want them, but feel terrible if I just put them in the bin!

Put them on your local Freecycle first before binning! I've been surprised by what's been snapped up.

@ImFree2doasiwant do you have any charity shops that do pick up? We have one (BHF) a little further out, you call and let them know you have bags/items to give away and the driver goes to all the houses listed and picks them up end of the week.

Would your school use them? Our nursery often take stuff or the afterschool club. They get played with there and saves them money as stuff gets broken

I think of it like food - it is essentially wasted at the point when too much is put on your plate. Forcing yourself to eat something that is providing neither necessary nutrition or pleasure because you're too full is not really any less of a waste. Of course if there are things that can readily be saved or given to someone else that's great, but if there's no hope of that then it's best to get rid of it, while focussing on reducing the amount of new stuff arriving.

I get this too, I try buying less but it doesn't always go so well!

It doesn't help that 15yo is Autistic and likes to collect physical things that could be stored digitally e.g. train tickets, books, photos, CD's 🙄

Someone once told me that if you have junk that no one wants it might as well be cluttering a landfill site to begin degrading sooner rather than later... Makes sense really, it's going to end up there at some point so no use letting it bog you down!

List things on Facebook selling pages, do a big clear out post - everything a £1 each.
You'd be surprised how quickly it adds up.

I have a bag under the stairs for school rag bag collection, all other clothes go to a friend or the clothing bank by the supermarket.

Toys go to toddler groups/nursery or the local residential children's centre.

General stuff goes on FB free to collect, what doesn't go goes to the dump.

I guess you what you have to think about is that the impact of this stuff happens when it is bought, or really when it's raw materials are extracted and it's manufactured. The best way is to get rid of stuff and really feel the guilt, and use it to resolve to buy less in future. If it was something given to you, or something you really needed, then its not really wasted (by you anyway) so no need to feel bad.

If no one buys it at a price you're prepared to sell it for, then it's not worth selling. If no one wants it for free in a decent sized group, then the bin's the right place for it. Let your market decide. If no one wants to buy it or take it for free, literally the most useful thing you can do with it is put it in the bin. Every time you do that, you are saving someone (either yourself or a future owner) the job of binning it later. Be your future friend as The Organised Mum says!

@Fleemeister yes!

Plus you are actually helping by not circulating x amount of tat (because that’s what it all ultimately is if no one really wants it) - perhaps in time, with less tat over all, people will come to better understand that they are happier without it cluttering up their lives and you will have contributed to that in your small way. 😊

I read the Flylady book and followed her tips on decluttering.

Put it all in your car boot, and drop it off at a charity shop when you're passing one.

Only try to sell the really really good stuff. Clutter doesn't sell.

Don't get delayed by perfectionism. Yes it'd be better to sell everything but how likely is it that you'll have time to do that? Better to donate/bin the tat now than later.

Also, I used to leave things outside my house with a big "FREE! Just take!" Sign on it. It all used to go.

Your local recycling center might be able to take the plastic toys.

Agree with just leaving things outside in a box saying ‘FREE, please take’. It won’t get rid of everything but will save so many trips to charity.

It’s mindset from now one. Each little thing that you buy and bring into house accumulate, so try and not bring so much in in the first place.

I lump everything together, stick it all on EBay as 'job lot car boot items' for collection and make around £50 each time. People will buy junk.
Maybe not the best time of year though.

I think people on this thread are very wise that the larger/more important factor in reducing household waste is what comes in not what goes out, so trying to be more mindful and sustainable about your purchases perhaps being the better use of your money, energy and headspace than obsessing about never ever binning anything. There's quite a well known concept/thought in the environmental social sciences world that pushing the message of reusing and recycling isn't always the best as it makes people feel as though they're doing their bit and don't really need to think about their habits so long as they regularly fill their blue bin or drop their clothes off at the charity shop, when actually a much better strategy is to focus lower down the 'pyramid' and reduce consumption/production in the first place.

Obviously this doesn't mean you should willy nilly bin good quality items but it does give me a giggle the lengths to which some people will take it, I am a member of a lot of zero-waste or eco household social media groups (very useful and sane places in general but you do get the odd person that takes it a bit far) and some recent gems included someone that had a collection of battered very old, very cheap saucepans where the handles had all fallen off, the outsides rusted and the non stick was flaking off, someone posted that she should drop them off at a local nursery for the children to use to play kitchens with , another woman had some 'well-used' cheap plastic dollies wtih mutilated hair/heads pulled off/limbs missing and one woman was adamant there were artists that would love to have them to create 'artwork' with (but strangely enough had no details or contact for said artists) - that artwork would presumably be quite terrifying . Basically sometimes you do just have to bin stuff, if you've honestly given it a really good go at recycling or giving away, especially stuff that wasn't yours in the first place! I bet your friend felt really virtuous having dropped off the stuff at yours and congratulated herself at saving it from landfill (most non recyclable waste in the UK is now incinerated rather than landfilled but that's by the by) but really all she's done is push the 'problem' onto someone else to solve...

I think you have to think of your own mental well being rather than what happens at the moment. In the future you can buy less so there is less waste but at the moment stuff has got to go.

If you have tried selling stuff or giving it away for free and it has not gone it needs to be bagged up for charity. Does your grocery store have a charity skip type thing you can take the stuff to?

I am constantly going through things to get rid of them. It very easily becomes overwhelming and I get so anxious with lots of stuff.

Once you are on top of things you will save money by not buying so much.

@HollyandIvyandAllThingsYule thank you - you're right of course, some things are destined for landfill. And thank you for acknowledging the mental health aspect, it really does have an effect. It's become something else for me to worry about

I don't actually buy a lot - I am struggling financially as I said, but i think that has sone knock on effects. 1 is it makes it hard to "get rid" of stuff. And people give me stuff. Lots and lots of stuff. I need to start saying no.

I live quite rurally which is I think selling for collection doesn't work the same issue with leaving stuff out with "free" on. We have no real passing traffic, and walkers are "proper" walkers.

After posting, I decided that getting the charity bags gone would at least make me feel better. I managed to fill 2 more small bags, and also filled a bag to give away, put it on Olio and its gone already.

You may not have local landfill. We have an incinerator and it's used to generate energy.
I feel a bit less wasteful if I throw away crappy stuff now.
I still try and do the 4 R's but at least the leftovers aren't landfill.

@HollyandIvyandAllThingsYule

Another way to look at it is that your first responsibility is to yourself and your mental well-being because that is what enables you to look after your children. The whole world and all of the environmental disasters in it aren’t your problem to fix. Do what you can where you can - for example simply stop buying anything that’s just cheap tat. That’s within your power to do. Holding on to a load of physical and mental clutter because you feel bad about throwing some of it away isn’t good for you. It’s rubbish, it can be thrown away.

Thank you for this. I have same stress of environment vs me and it just adds to my mental load and do nothing. Your post spoke through all the mental crap I have in there today.