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Original poster

partner ruins family photos

50 replies

bigyellowTpot · 13/12/2021 01:16

Does anyone else have a DP that is a total miserable bugger who doesn't smile for photos and always looks goddamn miserable? we had a lovely family Christmas day out yesterday a visit to santa for the children etc. we had 4 family photos taken and on every bloody one dp has got such a miserable face spoiling each photo so much so that I feel I don't want to print and frame them. It's not just on this occasion he's always like this on holiday pics, birthdays, special occasions etc. He just says he doesn't like his photo taken but surely he can force himself to crack a smile for the sake of his children so they atleast have a couple of photos of him looking happy to look back on.
He's not depressed in anyway although you'd think he was looking at every single pic of him. even friends and family have commented on how miserable he is in photos.
I don't know the point of this thread, think I just want a rant really about the miserable bugger and to see if anyone else can sympathise and also has a miserable non smiler dp. also are there any good apps that can't turn a miserable face into a smiley one lol🤣

OP posts:

TwentinQuarantino · 13/12/2021 01:21

I'd stop including him in future photos! If he doesn't like it then he's bound to look miserable doing something he doesn't want to do. DH is the same and hasn't had a photo taken in ages. I (half) joked we'd have trouble finding a recent photo to give to police if he ever went missing.

LoveFall · 13/12/2021 01:23

I totally understand and sympathize. What happens in my family is one set of nieces and nephew in particular think it is funny to make weird faces, so I don't have one photo from when they are young where they look normal.

It drives me mad. A certain parent of theirs encouraged them.

AnnieSnap · 13/12/2021 01:24

A lot of people don’t feel comfortable having their photo taken. It makes some people feel anxious and some keep a serious face as a result. Conflict over it won’t improve things. I’d suggest googling and perhaps looking on YouTube for tips for seeming more relaxed and natural in photos, specifically focused on men. Then practice with him at home using his own phone, so he knows he has full control and can just delete the results as he wishes. He can’t suddenly be comfortable in ‘occasion’ photos until he becomes comfortable in everyday pics on his phone.

Anordinarymum · 13/12/2021 01:29

This is a funny one because I can relate to it.
I am not a bad looking woman. I scrub up well when I make an effort. I know I am not pretty in the conventional sense, but I am not ugly by any means.
I look awful in photos. I dread having them taken. Even my children admit it. When they want a photo of me for something such as a collection of pics of me and my grandchildren for a collage thingy they find it difficult to find one at all that is not awful.
When we go to weddings I don't know what to do with my face for this reason and I think this compounds the utter dreadfulness of it all...

Occasionally someone takes a good one and I am strangely drawn to it to work out why I look OK this time :)

LOL

Anordinarymum · 13/12/2021 01:30

Oh and selfies........... OMG. I do not even go there.

2WeeksTillChristmas · 13/12/2021 01:34

Have photos without him !

Original poster

bigyellowTpot · 13/12/2021 01:39

@AnnieSnap that would never work he'd just laugh if I suggest he practice taking pics it's not that he feels anxious or uncomfortable he's just a miserable bugger. Also photos are not important to him he wouldn't care less if there wasn't one single photo of him with his children in existence I think that's why he doesn't bother to smile or look remotely happy to be with his children. I have explained to him that just a few photos will be very precious to the children in years to come but he doesn't seem to care.

OP posts:

mausmausmaus · 13/12/2021 01:44

@Anordinarymum

This is a funny one because I can relate to it. I am not a bad looking woman. I scrub up well when I make an effort. I know I am not pretty in the conventional sense, but I am not ugly by any means. I look awful in photos. I dread having them taken. Even my children admit it. When they want a photo of me for something such as a collection of pics of me and my grandchildren for a collage thingy they find it difficult to find one at all that is not awful. When we go to weddings I don't know what to do with my face for this reason and I think this compounds the utter dreadfulness of it all...

Occasionally someone takes a good one and I am strangely drawn to it to work out why I look OK this time :)

LOL

me too! my face just doesn't know what to do when a camera comes out!

Original poster

bigyellowTpot · 13/12/2021 01:50

We do take lots of pics without him but occasionally it is nice to get one with him, he is their dad after all. And nice to get a full family shot for the dc to look back on, I always tell him he'll be sorry in years to come when looking back and there's very few family pics but he doesn't seem to care. I actually find it quite selfish that he can't put himself out and crack a 2 second smile for his dc. he also never takes pics himself it must be a couple of years ago maybe longer since he thought to take a pic of the dc he's more likely to take pics of things in shops he's seen on sale, his camera roll is full of shop shelfs, nothing of his dc or me.

OP posts:

Original poster

bigyellowTpot · 13/12/2021 02:05

@Anordinarymum I look awful in photos too my hair is always a mess, I'm starting to look old, my skin is terrible. but I know my children love me as I am so I'm happy to have pics taken. I know they'll look back on them and say that was our mum just as we remember her! I remember years ago before phone cameras were a thing (I'm mid 40s) it was quite rare to have a photo taken so when the old film 35m camera did come out I would feel awkward and not know what to do with myself as It was so rare to have a photo. nowadays with phones people are constantly be photo'd and videod so must be used to it and much more relaxed surely.

OP posts:

Kinko · 13/12/2021 02:07

There is an app! YouCam perfect. Go to beautify and then select smile.

Works great - you can just get it to nudge the corners of the mouth up!

Anordinarymum · 13/12/2021 02:10

[quote bigyellowTpot]@Anordinarymum I look awful in photos too my hair is always a mess, I'm starting to look old, my skin is terrible. but I know my children love me as I am so I'm happy to have pics taken. I know they'll look back on them and say that was our mum just as we remember her! I remember years ago before phone cameras were a thing (I'm mid 40s) it was quite rare to have a photo taken so when the old film 35m camera did come out I would feel awkward and not know what to do with myself as It was so rare to have a photo. nowadays with phones people are constantly be photo'd and videod so must be used to it and much more relaxed surely.[/quote]
I'm quite happy with myself. It's just the photos I can't cope with. I have no problem growing older at all. I make the best of me, but Oh my word, I look like someone else in a photo !

Ha ha

VanillaIce1 · 13/12/2021 02:11

Is his name Chandler by any chance

Original poster

bigyellowTpot · 13/12/2021 02:14

Thanks @Kinko il have to try that 😆 iv looked on the inbuilt photo editor on my samsung nothing for smile adjusting but can widen eyes, slim face etc. or maybe I should put one of these emojis over his face 😁😄.

OP posts:

StruggleStreet · 13/12/2021 02:22

@VanillaIce1

Is his name Chandler by any chance

Haha, this is what I was about to say.

There is a running joke in my family that we all do this Chandler-esque smile. I still try to smile in photos but invariably they look ridiculous. Maybe your husband is similarly afflicted OP.

VanillaIce1 · 13/12/2021 02:24

@StruggleStreet My dad does it too. He sort of looks like, he's being held hostage and asked to smile to show he's okay. 50 years of photos now and it's the same "smile" In every one!

grey12 · 13/12/2021 02:30

DH used to be so stiff and terrible posing for pictures to the extreme of looking like a scarecrow I had to teach him and now he's really good mainly I told him to do a cowboy pose, but not exaggerated. For the face I have this trick that I push air through the nose like a silly little laugh that you don't make noise. It makes your smile more natural

Do tell him that everyone would love to be able to look back at his pictures and see his lovely smile

chaosmaker · 13/12/2021 02:36

OP stop taking so many photos with him in if he doesn't want to be in them. Then if he only has to be in the odd one he should be able to smile.

Bussinbussin · 13/12/2021 03:06

Or go the other way and fill the house with of enlarged photos of him in his finest misery guts face, he might then realise that he looks like a twat and do something about it.

HoppingPavlova · 13/12/2021 03:08

Some people just can’t and that’s that. I have one child whose range for photos is from extremely depressed through to being made to stand still while having an axe murderer come at them. They were like that in nursery photos and are like that now in their 20’s. Never had one photo with a nondescript face let alone a smile. They just can’t. It is what it is and I don’t see the point of harassing someone in those circumstances. I do pity their spouse if they ever get married, when looking at the photos afterwards.

Fuuuuuckit · 13/12/2021 04:55

Every photo I've ever taken of my mum looks like a mug shot, including wedding photos, graduations, christenings and when she first held the dc. But she can be a miserable moody bugger and hardly ever smiles anyway so it's no surprise, she chooses to stay out of all photos by her choice (and nobody argues now).

My exh was a real mardy arse and purposefully ruined family photos so I don't have a single one of us all that even the kids want to look back on. His attitude was a major reason we split up...

FearlessSwiftie · 13/12/2021 05:18

Tell him next time he's being grumpy in the pictures you'll add a smile to this photo and if he doesn't like it then too bad so sad. There is even a smile editor for doing that so you can fix his miserable face all you want.
In all seriousness though, I think he'll regret it later when he finds out there are basically no family photos with him looking happy so he's better come around now.

BettyfromBristol · 13/12/2021 05:53

It's not the same as getting him to smile but have you thought of photos taken from behind? We have one on the mantlepiece of DH with his arms round the DCs when they were small. The DC had just climbed their first proper mountain and they are all looking at the view. So it's their backs in the photo not their faces but it still brings back memories. Although not such a good technique for a family gathering on the sofa really.

Original poster

bigyellowTpot · 13/12/2021 13:53

@chaosmaker I don't take many photos of him most of our pics are without him and he still cannot manage to crack a smile or not look totally miserable in the rare one we ask him to be in.
@StruggleStreet haha I've not seen the chandler smile episode il have to watch that one 😄 .
Dp does have a naturally miserable grumpy face anyway but he does have a lovely smile which brightens his whole face. just a shame he cannot manage to smile whilst infront of a camera.

OP posts:

Original poster

bigyellowTpot · 13/12/2021 13:58

@BettyfromBristol yes I took a couple of sneaky pics of him from behind whilst he was holding dcs hands etc when they were much smaller. they are nice but a nice posed family photo with us all would be lovely also. He's just a grumpy bugger.

OP posts:

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