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Original poster

partner ruins family photos

50 replies

bigyellowTpot · 13/12/2021 01:16

Does anyone else have a DP that is a total miserable bugger who doesn't smile for photos and always looks goddamn miserable? we had a lovely family Christmas day out yesterday a visit to santa for the children etc. we had 4 family photos taken and on every bloody one dp has got such a miserable face spoiling each photo so much so that I feel I don't want to print and frame them. It's not just on this occasion he's always like this on holiday pics, birthdays, special occasions etc. He just says he doesn't like his photo taken but surely he can force himself to crack a smile for the sake of his children so they atleast have a couple of photos of him looking happy to look back on.
He's not depressed in anyway although you'd think he was looking at every single pic of him. even friends and family have commented on how miserable he is in photos.
I don't know the point of this thread, think I just want a rant really about the miserable bugger and to see if anyone else can sympathise and also has a miserable non smiler dp. also are there any good apps that can't turn a miserable face into a smiley one lol🤣

OP posts:
chaosmaker · 13/12/2021 16:13

OK, maybe just take his face for what it is. It is a bit annoying if he has a beautiful smile. I never enjoyed having my photo taken when younger but don't mind now. Can you get the kids to tickle him while you take a photo. Just so you have one that's smiley :)

TheSmallClangerWhistlesAgain · 13/12/2021 16:18

I do sort of sympathise with him. I have the sort of face that doesn't photograph well, although mine tends to look startled or gormless rather than miserable. I also find having to pose for pictures really annoying, partly because I know I will look like a gormless antelope startled at a waterhole and partly because I just don't like it and would rather be actually interacting with whoever I am with.

100problems · 13/12/2021 19:30

Nothing is guaranteed to make me look a misery like a "we are having FUN" photo. I can be having the best time ever, I am enjoying the moment. Then out comes the sodding camera. Then the photos are on FB to evidence the FUN. Everyone else is funning away, and I look as though someone said "shark!"

100problems · 13/12/2021 19:31

Nothing is guaranteed to make me look a misery like a "we are having FUN" photo. I can be having the best time ever, I am enjoying the moment. Then out comes the sodding camera. Then the photos are on FB to evidence the FUN. Everyone else is funning away, and I look as though someone said "shark!"

Original poster
bigyellowTpot · 13/12/2021 20:03

@100problems 😂 oh god nothing worse than pics being plastered all over Facebook etc. my dp doesn't have to worry about that as we do not do social media other than mumsnet obvs.
omg I couldn't be doing with my pics all over SM. what's wrong with an old fashioned photo album!.

OP posts:
dancerdog · 13/12/2021 21:34

I too am in the category of scrubs up decent, not pug ugly, but every photo I have taken is absolutely appalling. As the years have gone on, just knowing that no matter what I do it will still be bad makes me a bit sad really.

I have a nephew who thought it was funny to ruin every family photo with the the rabbit ears or two fingers up behind an unsuspecting person's head. really pissed me off.

DanFmDorking · 13/12/2021 22:36

@bigyellowTpot - I've sent you a 'PM'.

DanFmDorking · 13/12/2021 22:39

@bigyellowTpot - I've sent you a 'PM'.

Inthewainscoting · 13/12/2021 22:53

Take photos when he doesn't realize it, don't put them up anywhere but keep them for the kids. Let him off the staged family photos.

I am guessing that he doesn't have a brilliant relationship with his parents and/or he's not had anyone he loves die and/or he is lacking in empathy and/or he doesn't value pictures of people he loves. One or more of the above. You probably can't change that :/

Obviously if he does have an epiphany one day and goes, "OMG my grieving kids will want photos of me when I go" and starts making some effort, then great, but OP sometimes miserable buggers just stay that way unfortunately, don't waste your time trying to change him.

DanFmDorking · 13/12/2021 22:54

Hmmmmm - just one actually - don't know why there's two posts - oh well Smile

ghostmouse · 13/12/2021 23:25

I look awful in photos. I’m slim but I have a big doughy heavy face with small hooded eyes and I look like a man in drag in them.
I ruin every photo I’m in so I’d rather not be in them.
I’m just ugly

Mudflaps · 14/12/2021 00:37

Leave the man be. I know I'm not ugly, I can get dressed up and look pretty good (if a damn sight heavier than I used to be) but I photograph dreadfully, I didn't even want photographers at our wedding, I compromised and they did their best to make me comfortable but 10 years on we still haven't bothered get a proper album. I look miserable in every picture even when smiling, it looks like there is someone out of frame threatening me so now everyone in the family knows it makes me uncomfortable and they understand. I have lost people close to me and yes, it's nice to look back on photos but not if I knew they hated having them taken. Either accept what you've got or just don't photograph him, he's not going to suddenly by happy to produce a beaming smile after this long.

dudsville · 14/12/2021 00:43

Can this not just be a cute quirk of your family? "Ah yes, this was Christmas... now what year was that.. oh yes, 2019 it must have been as you were in your pig tails phase, remember? And of course there's our Dave! That man never liked his pic being taken, poor sod, at least he participated".

GameofPhones · 14/12/2021 01:18

Can't you get a snap when he doesn't know he's being photo'd? I much prefer photos of people in spontaneous natural situations anyway.

frogsbreath · 14/12/2021 01:26

My DH is the same. I try to laugh it off when people comment. Or at least I did. Now I just want him to fake a fucking smile. He is the thief of joy and I've come to resent it. Even our wedding photographer couldn't raise a smile from him. It's embarrassing.

PureBlackVoid · 14/12/2021 09:02

My DP has one eye that looks slightly smaller than the other, it’s barely noticeable but for pics he tries to even them out in photos but ends up just opening both eyes wider. He can’t then smile naturally whilst tensing his eyelids, so he looks like a serial killer in all photos.

We have exactly one photo together (been together a decade) where he somehow managed to relax his face and smile naturally, and we actually look like a couple not hostage/kidnapper.

Bordois · 14/12/2021 09:16

Like a few others have said, I cant "pose" for a photo and dread it when the camera comes out. I much prefer it when someone takes a photo of the fun and happy thing without asking everyone to stop doing the fun and happy thing and then act like we are doing the fun and happy thing in order to have evidence that we were doing a fun and happy thing!

Bettybantz · 14/12/2021 09:20

I only look good in photos when I’m slightly tipsy. I think I find it hard to relax.
My suggestion would be to take him to the pub for a couple before any major photo opportunities.

Laska2Meryls · 14/12/2021 09:33

I dont do photos unless I absolutely cannot get out of them and I delete any of me I can get my hands on...Just look appalling in all shots that I have ever seen of me.. We've been together for nearly 30 years and it looks like DH has had loads of happy relaxed holidays by himself .. ( but I went along to all of them!).
We do have some wedding photos.. one in particular with my family ( who also dont photograph well) where we look so miserable and like we are all just about to be carted off to jail..

ChristmasRobins · 14/12/2021 10:11

Sounds like he looks like himself in the photos, which is what you want, surely? I definitely wouldn’t edit them to make him look different.

Pumpkin314 · 14/12/2021 10:33

Is he grumpy in general or just when posing for a photo? If it's only when posing, ask him to look at the kids instead of the camera, maybe get him to tell them some jokes and ask him to try make them laugh, you might get a genuine smile out of him when he succeeds! Or ask the kids to look at him and tell him what's the funniest thing he's ever done. You need to be ready to take a bunch of photos while this is going on so you catch any fleeting proper smile!

jpbee · 14/12/2021 10:49

My DH also doesn't like photos and doesn't smile much for them. I love taking photos of/with my 3 year old but I've long since got used to him not being keen on photos and it doesn't really bother me. Instead I will take unexpected photos of him doing things with my daughter, like walking along a path, doing an activity. We usually doesn't even know I've taken them and they look much more natural and less forced.
It is a shame as we don't really have many photos of the three of us as a family, and my instagram looks like we broke up as he's nowhere to be seen, but I've accepted it now.

2catsandhappy · 14/12/2021 16:09

Can he look at the dc when the photo is taken, while hugging them? So involved but not stressed.

Original poster
bigyellowTpot · 14/12/2021 20:35

@frogsbreath yes exactly that is how I feel about my dp just fkin smile for 2 seconds its not fkin difficult. he always looks like he's been handed the death sentence. He is a naturally miserable bugger anyway to be honest who doesn't find much joy in anything. And he honestly doesn't seem to understand why people want to have photos and if it was down to him there would not be a single photo of the dc or family, holidays, events etc as he's just not interested. he really pisses me off.

OP posts:
TurquoiseDragon · 14/12/2021 21:19

Does anyone else have a DP that is a total miserable bugger who doesn't smile for photos and always looks goddamn miserable?

I did, and he became an ex. It turned out to be all about him, and being dominant. I'd spent years asking him to at least try to do a decent photo.

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