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Original poster

Huge kitten regret

107 replies

Chikapu · 11/12/2021 17:02

We've had a kitten for about two months now and I have so much regret about getting him.
He's a beautiful little boy and I love him to pieces but he's such a handful I feel like I can't cope. He bites and scratches despite being constantly redirected to a 'legal' biting toy. He has every toy you can think of and I play one on one with him a lot, I'm guided by him and stop when I see that he's had enough and leave him to play on his own. He hardly sleeps though and ramps up his biting when he's seriously overtired, my husband is for some reason the main target of his biting. I'm anxious and desperately trying not to let bites happen.
I feel like every single aspect of our lives has been disrupted, I can't sit down to knit or crochet because he's on me trying to bite my moving hands.
He's not destructive towards furniture, he uses the litter box perfectly, he eats well and has been declared beautifully healthy by the vet.
I feel like such a pathetic failure and fully expect to be told that's exactly what I am. I want to cry I feel so bad about this.
Will he get better? Has anyone else had serious remorse after getting a pet?

OP posts:
ConsuelaHammock · 12/12/2021 12:46

And close him out of the room when you want to crochet .

MrsSkylerWhite · 12/12/2021 12:47

He needs a friend and in the circumstances, that’s you.

Your comment about knitting and crochet is a bit daft, tbh. What did you expect, he’s a kitten?

birdglasspen · 12/12/2021 12:56

Normal kitten behaviour. They calm down once they can go outside and expend some energy. My cat is out all night and sleeps in house all day the only time he’s a little wild is if the weather was awful! As for crafting with a kitten?! Build yourself or it a cage! 😂

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Behaviour & development Cats
belimoo · 12/12/2021 12:58

I really struggled with the kitten stage with mine and had several moments of regret. What got me through was reminding myself that the kitten phase is relatively short and he would calm down as he got older.

He's now docile and well behaved and my absolute best friend. I wouldn't give him up for the world and have no regrets at all anymore. So hang in there, in a few months he will be a very different cat.

festivefuschias · 12/12/2021 13:12

He’s adorable! I disagree that you need two. We got two from the same litter many years ago and while it’s true that the first few months were easier because they chased each other around the house they cost a fortune in their old age - insurance went through the roof as they got old and developed medical conditions - and we wouldn’t have two again.

We now have one kitten. He was crazy for the first few months and we had to play with him intensively every time he woke up from a nap but he calmed down shortly after he was neutered and he’s just very cuddly now. He has his odd moments but nothing like a few months back (he’s cuddling me as I write!).

Original poster
Chikapu · 12/12/2021 13:46

@Hen2018

How much time is he spending in the house? He sounds bored and like he need a good explore for a few days.
He spends all his time in the house, he's three months old, not yet neutered and only just fully vaccinated. He's not ready to go outside.
OP posts:
Original poster
Chikapu · 12/12/2021 13:47

@Kotatsu

Does your DP play a bit rougher with the kitten - ie. is he encouraging it a bit?

I had to stop ex doing the rough belly rub until they attack my hand play he was doing with our kittens, because they started doing it to me and the kids, so just watch that they're not getting in the habit!

Neither of mine were particularly cuddly as kittens - they preferred to be in the room, but not on a lap.

Now they come onto my lap for a bit, then wander off to nap elsewhere when they've had enough, which I think is just about perfect.

No not at all, we've both been very firm from the beginning that hands and feet are not toys.
OP posts:
Original poster
Chikapu · 12/12/2021 13:50

I've always had cats. Not one of them has ever been interested in my knitting or crochet as my enormous hoard of shawls, blankets and socks will testify.

OP posts:
Kinsters · 12/12/2021 13:54

He will calm down. We had our cat from very tiny and she was a handful to begin with. We had to keep her in our bedroom overnight and I'd often wake up to her leaping on my head, biting me or she'd climb the walls. By the time she was a year or two old though she'd sleep snuggled in bed with us all night long and it was lovely. Some of it does depend on their personality though - we've got another cat who is almost 7 and still very kitten like in her behaviour.

WingingItSince1973 · 12/12/2021 13:55

Aw hes an absolute darling. We've had litters of kittens over the years and the mum does the amazing job of imprinting on their little minds rules etc. Sadly his mum died and so did his sibling so I'm thinking he hasn't had these early lessons. He's treating you as one of his siblings. Learning to play and push boundaries. His mum would have laid down some rules for him had she been around, that's why it's best to have any animals past 12 weeks so they can get that early education. Anyway it's wonderful you have him and he will settle down. My houseplants became fair game to our kittens. The second batch were much more destructive than the first. They escaped from anything we put them in! In time he will calm down and become a loyal lovely boy. I do agree the kitten stage can be relentless but take on board all the advice and eventually you will see what a fab boy he is xxx

maddiemookins16mum · 12/12/2021 14:01

Get him neutered and a friend. There are reasons rescue places home in pairs.

YesItsMeIDontCare · 12/12/2021 14:04

Is Jackson Galaxy on YouTube? He has brilliant advice on redirecting "aggressive" behaviour in cats and kittens - it usually centres on consistency, rewards and fishing rod style toys.

It's not really aggressive behaviour - it's more sort of playing and practicing apex predator moves for when he's stalking zebras rodents.

NiftyFiftyPlus · 12/12/2021 14:41

Feeling your pain, we had the same problem with a kitten and I was always the subject of her attacks. I bought a Feliway plug-in and she calmed down. Still a bit of a grumpy cat and isn't keen on me, but I don't suffer from unprovoked attacks.

Fleemeister · 12/12/2021 14:54

I'm another chiming in to say don't get another. Rescues re-home in pairs because they can re-home more cats that way. We rescued two who ended up having toileting issues. The vet said this is common in 2 cat households and most are happier as only cats, not having the stress of trying to share the territory. Sure enough, once one cat died the other stopped weeing on the carpets.

MouseholeCat · 12/12/2021 14:58

Our cats both went through a biting hands/feet stage when kittens. One thing that helped when they did it was pushing back- e.g. if they attack your hand push it towards them, firmly but not aggressively. Prey pulls away so their instinct is to continue the attack, so pushing towards them changes their instinct.

Our first kitten loved to wrestle but was by himself until we got our second one. We stuffed a hiking sock with old material and he would wrestle with that rather than our hands/feet. We also tired it to a length of string so he could chase it. It looked ridiculous, but it worked!

Dancingsmile · 12/12/2021 15:02

A strong cardboard box. Put holes in it. Some paw width, some size and one that they can fit through. Hang dangle things off it. Hours of fun diving in it , claws and head popping out to attack. Saved our feet and arms.

Allsorts1 · 12/12/2021 15:03

Don’t panic. He will turn into a normal lazy adult cat in time! I had massive puppy regrets and they did pass. Remember everything is a phase. When your kitten is a boring old cat, I bet you’ll even look back on this time with rose tinted glasses and miss all the scratching and biting 😂

nannybeach · 12/12/2021 15:08

Yes, another kitten. Baby animals are hard work,folk think kittens are easier than puppies,not really. When my dog was a puppy,I was knitting a footstool. Every single time I left the room bar once,I put the knitting on the job put of the way. It trailed out of the dog flap, quite a way round some 2 MTR high trellis,into a flower bed under shrubs. It was raining, luckily it was dark grey. Another day found my purse under there!

Duckrace · 12/12/2021 15:18

Ours started going outside at 5-6 months and that stopped any tricky behaviour.

Mcmcmcmc · 12/12/2021 15:31

Haven’t RTFT but wanted to join and say that “hissing” at the kitten when he’s engaging in destructive behaviour may work. I do this to my 3 cats (all adopted as kittens, from feral/stray backgrounds) and it generally works!
Another thing that works - and is even weirder - is to make another sound that scares them a little. For my cats it’s the “om” sound - I discovered they were terrified by it when the 3 of them ran away scared when I was chanting at a yoga video! I only do it when strictly necessary (eg when they are scratching the furniture) and it always works. Your cat may need another sound though!

CrimbleCrumble1 · 12/12/2021 15:39

My beautiful angel fluffy ball of loveliness was a nightmare until he was neutered at 4 months. I’d find him swinging half way up the curtains and trying to bolt out of all the windows and doors.

CrimbleCrumble1 · 12/12/2021 15:42

We were all nervous wrecks in our family if we had jogging bottoms or pyjamas on that had a cord as he’d jump up to attack the cord. For months the whole family walked around with our hands in front of our crutches in case he pounced!

DedalusBloom · 12/12/2021 15:42

Oh my goodness he's adorable! I just want to smooch his little face off.

We had a tuxedo almost identical to yours- she was an absolute nightmare from the off and hated us all. My mum in particular was very fond of her and used to boil her up a piece of pollock every day for tea. Was so grateful? Was she eckers like.

CaptSkippy · 12/12/2021 15:42

OP, if you can't get a kitten, how about getting another young cat, one that is less than a year old? Not as good as getting two kittens, but still a good solution.

Helpstopthepain · 12/12/2021 15:47

He’s gorgeous! Remember, it’s a stage and he will grow out of it. Neutering will help.

(I want him)