How would you handle this? Work Xmas party issue

[Sinnia]

We had our work Xmas meal last night.

I manage a team of around 20 people, my managers were also there. One member of staff I’ve had repeated issues with over the last year (turning up late, gossiping, not pulling their weight)

Towards the end of the evening I was having a conversation with some people on our table about some of the food options (the food was a disaster but it had become a kind of running joke of the night). We were all laughing and joking. Member of staff I’ve had issues with turned around from another table and very loudly shouted

“Oh will you shut the fuck up” at me

My table had my managers on it. Two of who looked at me like WTF. I just looked at member of staff and raised my eyebrows.

What would you do about this?

Technically we were outside of work so not sure I can really do much here. They had been drinking. But everyone in the team heard them say it. I’ve had a few messages this morning from other people. One manager messaged me to say how inappropriate they were behaving. Not sure how to tackle this

Keep a diary of their behaviour. Flag with your own line manager. And say its not just about that incident but the accumulation of all the other incidents. Them not being able to handle their drink is not your issue. Ask line manager how they plan to handle it.

Could you have a word with them when you are back in work and say it was inappropriate. I know it was outside of work time, but still you should abide to some work etiquette whilst out with colleagues and what they said wasn’t appropriate.

It's a work event and so I definitely think you can discipline them. A former colleague behaved appallingly at a Christmas party when drunk and ended up being fired for gross misconduct because of his behaviour. Not saying that is the case here at all but you're still expected to behave appropriately. How would you react if they shouted that at you in the workplace?

Probably have a word on Monday to say it was not appropriate behaviour. Whilst it was a do it was still 'work". I assume they had been drinking and this took the veneer off they usually apply at work?

Honestly, I would do absolutely nothing. Your manager heard, as did lots of others. They will have come across as a complete tit and lots of people saw it. How embarrassing for them.

“Real life” me wouldn’t tolerate anyone telling me to shut the fuck up. The more I think about it the more I think I should have shut them down then and there

This is tricky one as yes it's outside of work but still a work function as such so they're technically bringing the company into disrepute as people in the venue are likely to know this is a works do

Be interesting to see what others have to say

A colleague had a written disciplinary after similar behaviour at a works event. Bringing the company into disrepute.

They were at a work Christmas meal and should behave as such. Totally inappropriate.

You should speak to them about how rude, inappropriate, and aggressive the behaviour was. What disciplinary steps are there? A stern warning should be issued with info about disciplinary action that will be taken if they don't make speedy positive changes to their behaviour all round (including those things you mentioned besides the xmas meal).

Tbh as to what id honestly do. I'd start exiting them.out of role on performance grounds, knowing I'd have the backing of my managers.

I wouldn't ever mention the office Xmas party.

Wow. I think she made herself look bad there.

But, it is a clear sign of disrespect in front of people you do have to manage?

I was out on my christmas party last night too. OUTSIDE brrrrr
But even after a few drinks I'm still conscious of my line manager.

I have told him what I thought of his management on one occasion !!(he was pushing down not up) but I did it behind closed doors and I was sober.

I can't imagine telling somebody I had conflict with to shut up, with an audience!

Everywhere I've worked it has been made clear in company policy that equivalent standards of behaviour are expected at work parties etc as in office hours and that disciplinary action for behaviour at such events is definitely an option. If your work has similar policies, would that give you the confidence to pursue this?

Have a word with them on Monday morning. Say you realise that they had been drinking but that their behaviour was out of order, had not gone unnoticed by more senior members of the company and they have let themselves down badly.
Suggest that if they can't hold their drink, they stick to soft drinks in future. And then leave it.

I wouldn't talk to them. They obviously have an issue with you. Later they'll say you approached them and said xyz and make up anything.

It sounds like you need to start addressing the work issues through your organisation’s capability/ disciplinary processes. Involve HR, formalise everything.

This member of staff clearly has no respect for you and feels safe in intimidating you, but if work nights out are a grey area it might be safest to avoid making it your focus.

I was present at an office party where someone made a racist remark and they were dismissed for gross misconduct. I would manage this individual out under capability. This toxic person has crossed the line.

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As you are their manager I would call them in for a formal meeting with HR present. As it was a work do it could still lead to a disciplinary, depending on the scope of relevant policies (dignity at work/bullying and harassment)

Start managing them out.

Did you feel the member of staff was addressing you or the Group? I absolutely hate having a difficult team member. It’s literally the worst thing I ever deal with at work so I really feel for you. I wouldn’t do anything on this one without HR with me every step of the way because this sort of person often complains and I’ve seen too many colleagues put through a miserable time in such circumstances.

Do not ignore it. They already think they can walk all over you
Definitely address under dignity at work and bringing the company into disrepute.
They will have to leave one way or another

I would speak to HR and see what their policy is on this. In most corporate environments a work party is seen as work related and behaviour is measured accordingly. It doesn’t sound like this was done it a jokey way and obviously there are a lot of witnesses.

How embarrassing for them. I’d say your silence is golden for the moment.

Speak to hr or your line a manager and ask if it's possible to do a disciplinary. That's unacceptable.

Work do is work, so you give him a written warning or minimum a verbal one.
I would have replied with a Behave yourself, or something similar. Raised eyebrows can do the trick if he actually stop behaving like this!
Have you recorded all the issues you have with this person?

Agree with HR process.

Luckily for you you had many witnesses!

I'd be calling them aside on Monday to say that regardless of it being a work function, members of the company are expected to conduct themselves in an appropriate manner, and that to yell loudly across to their manager to 'shut the fuck up', is not appropriate conduct. That it did nothing more than to highlight their inappropriate behaviour to many members of staff, including senior staff. And if they can't both drink, and behave appropriately at a work function, perhaps lay off the booze at one.

That's what we did to a member of staff in a similar situation, anyways.