Why are the British so comfortable being overweight?

[lookforthespace]

When it seems there is a lot of chit chat about now 'oh, you've lost weight!' People obviously want to be slim. But they can't do it?

Yet so many people, including myself,
seem to fluctuate and remain overweight

Is there a psychological difference between us and Japan/South Korea? It is it just because those countries will outright tell you 'You are fat'. And it isn't seen as rude or impolite to say so

"Are the British really big eaters? Compare to Americans, no. The likes of the Italians have a really big eating culture, as a family."

I believe the British ARE really big eaters but it's become normalised and most people don't realise they're overeating! My husband and in-laws from southern Europe are always commenting that the British over-eat. For example, when they come over here I can easily eat a whole portion of fish and chips (and finish my children's chips!) whereas they find a portion completely overwhelming. They'll order one portion between 3 of them. Again, if I serve them a full English they'll struggle to eat half of it. And they're amazed by the constant snacking of the Brits and the volumes of alcohol we drink. I'm not saying their Mediterranean diet is perfect. In my opinion they eat too many pastries, too much white flour - but in general it's so much healthier than a typical British diet. They'll have cooked meals for lunch and dinner (certainly no sandwiches and crisps for lunch - they're appalled by that) but these meals are very light. Typically they'll have a fillet of grilled fish, maybe only 2 small boiled potatoes and a large salad. They sometimes have a small glass of wine with their meal but the idea of drinking a whole bottle or even half a bottle would never enter their heads. Everything is fresh, no processed foods, no ready meals (hard to find at the supermarket), no junk food. Lots of fresh fruit.

@SallyWD I agree, we have lost sight of what a normal portion looks like. I have re-educated myself after losing a lot of weight. My portions are fine and I am never hungry but people always comment on it not being enough. Also when we eat out the portions are huge (although we don’t eat out often and I always clear my plate cos I’m greedy)!

I think another factor is how our parents viewed food. I have memories of sitting at the table crying while being made to eat what was in front of me because it was making be retch (leg of lamb 🤮) or having it reheated at the next meal until I ate it. So I learnt to eat as quickly as possible to get it over with.

If I'm eating now and stop to think if I'm actually hungry or not I can get through half a plate of food and not really want the rest but eat it anyway to not offend whoever cooked it. If I'm on my own I sometimes don't bother with an evening meal as I'm not that hungry. So might just have a sarnie instead.

I was talking about food to a Portuguese nurse once who told me that there were different attitudes to food in the north and south. At one end it is considered good manners to leave something as it signifies to the host that they have sufficiently fed you and to eat everything on the plate indicated they had not provided enough. The opposite happened at the other end of the country.

According to Wikipedia, Brits are barely in top 20 for daily calorie intake.

Ipsos Mori has ~2021 data on who does the most exercise (not a lot of obvious correspondence between those 2 league tables). Brits came out as very average.

Interesting. Maybe we have a very idealised view of other countries then?

@lljkk

According to Wikipedia, Brits are barely in top 20 for daily calorie intake.

Ipsos Mori has ~2021 data on who does the most exercise (not a lot of obvious correspondence between those 2 league tables). Brits came out as very average.

Must be in the top 3 of fattest countries in Europe though or in the EU+UK. I think we used to be topped only by Malta.

We are number 36.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_obesity_rate

[quote julieca]We are number 36.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_obesity_rate[/quote]
No. 2 in Europe in that list.

Sure, I am not saying it is something to celebrate. But Europe is a very small continent.
We could do better. And I suspect improving children's diets would be the key.

we have normalised being fat and that is why we one of the unhealthiest nations in the developed world

I think UK women are quite conscious of their weight and would prefer to be lean.

I actually managed to lose 6kg recently but my mother (who lives in a different country where being fat is seen as a sign of good living and happiness) is livid!
She is constantly asking me if something is wrong... 🤦🏽‍♀️😀

It's very very complicated. My SisIL is tiny-framed but very overweight to the point where she has serious knee and hip issues. She claims to eat well but because of her work (care) she snacks on what is quick, filling and available. She lost 7lb in a week when she came to stay with us, and she ate what we ate.

"I think UK women are quite conscious of their weight and would prefer to be lean."

In general probably yes, but I do see many young women who are larger now wearing very clingy or revealing clothes and not at all hiding themselves in baggy clothes like large girls and women did when I was young.

@XingMing

It's very very complicated. My SisIL is tiny-framed but very overweight to the point where she has serious knee and hip issues. She claims to eat well but because of her work (care) she snacks on what is quick, filling and available. She lost 7lb in a week when she came to stay with us, and she ate what we ate.

Most care workers I've seen are very overweight. I do think it's something to do with the job and the very low income.

Once people have enough money to be able to eat enough, internationally obesity is correlated with poverty.

@Gwenhwyfar

"I think UK women are quite conscious of their weight and would prefer to be lean."

In general probably yes, but I do see many young women who are larger now wearing very clingy or revealing clothes and not at all hiding themselves in baggy clothes like large girls and women did when I was young.

Is this possibly just because there are more/better ranges now for all sizes?

Even when I was young - not so long ago - the nice trendy clothes didn’t always come in larger sizes, whereas now they do.

Also possibly because of the prominence of more body positive influencers/pop stars etc people feel less embarrassed or ashamed to wear whatever they want rather than hiding themselves away.

"Is this possibly just because there are more/better ranges now for all sizes?"

When I was young, a teenage girl who was a size 14 or 16 wouldn't have worn a crop top with nothing over it for example. The sizes probably existed, but it wasn't done to expose yourself.

"Also possibly because of the prominence of more body positive influencers/pop stars etc people feel less embarrassed or ashamed to wear whatever they want rather than hiding themselves away."

Well yes, so this suggests they're not conscious of their weight and wanting to be slim as OP suggested.

Most care workers I've seen are very overweight. I do think it's something to do with the job and the very low income.

Yes, shift work, especially nights increases the risk of obesity as well (and yes I do know care workers aren't the only ones who work shifts) and the low income and amount of hours you need to work to make a living, for me at least put my weight lower down in priority to working and getting enough sleep in between to be able to do it. I've not always been overweight, it started to creep on when I started working permanent nights and has been harder to shift as I've got older. There's no extra money usually for unsociable hours, even though it's harder on your body and a known health risk working permanent nights or even shift work. The work is very physical too, in most cases, so it's not even really that there's a lack of exercise, but maybe it's not a great type of exercise for weight management.
I can understand the snacking on what's quick and cheap to fill you up and keep you going when you get pulled off breaks constantly, I do it myself and it's a vicious cycle.
But people either can't or won't attempt to understand those things, maybe because they've not had to face it themselves, and start with the talk of 'excuses' and personal responsibility when you attempt to explain the reasons for nutrition being of lower priority. If I talked about working in a hot environment, doing a physical job and therefore sweating a lot and the impact lack of rest breaks etc was having on my fluid balance, and the effect that has on my health, there wouldn't be the snarky, negative and mocking overtone there is when it comes to the effects being a visible layer of fat around my body.
For many it's more about the perceived moral high ground and feeling justified to be negative, snarky and bitchy towards someone else as they feel they're a 'better' person and entitled to put someone in their place, than any actual concern around obesity and health and the costs of that. Fat people are often accused of being defensive, well yes, when you face the above attitude almost daily, you're going to get defensive. I don't want to discuss my weight and the problems around it with people who are only doing so to feel justified in mocking and belittling me.
If that really did work then we wouldn't have an obesity crisis would we because, well, it'd be working on stopping people getting obese before they did.

@Maverickess I relate to a lot of what you write. I worked permanent nights in care for 3 years and the exhaustion is unreal. I gained some weight because I didn’t prioritise healthy foods and reached for sugary snacks for a quick boost.

The slimest I have ever been, I would still be considered fat in Japan/Korea- I used to be size 12 and looked really good, I was sporty, and my body was in a good shape. but I have wide hips, and my bone structure is such that I would never compate to super slim and tiny women over there. Sad times.

@Nomilkinmycoffeeplease

The slimest I have ever been, I would still be considered fat in Japan/Korea- I used to be size 12 and looked really good, I was sporty, and my body was in a good shape. but I have wide hips, and my bone structure is such that I would never compate to super slim and tiny women over there. Sad times.

Have you ever been to Japan? I would bet good money that no matter what size you were, so long as you were happy with yourself, you would have had no shortage of interest in you. “Competing with super slim and tiny women” is just nonsense talk. Perhaps you don’t realise how many tiny women would have seen you in your sporty glowing glory and swooned with envy over your height and curves. So many treasures diminished and discarded when they should be delighted in and “owned”. The real “sad times” are when we look back at pictures of our youth and regret being blind to our qualities.

“Competing” indeed! I took my then size 12 ass on vacation to Tokyo 20 years ago and swiped the grandest prize of all away from them by hooking my husband there.

@GreenAndSpringy I have, and loved it, but going to department stores was super awkward. I remember another time I went we had a fun thing going when we tried kimonos to go out for a day, I was a bit bigger then, and even with the largest size (I was then size 14 or so) I was not able to sit down in it as it the material was going sideways and didnt look great and I had to awkwardly hold it in place. All my Japanese friends had wrists half my size. If I turned up the way I am now (despite being far from hating the way I look) I would probably get quite a few stares.

There was definitely interest in me back then, hehe, but I wonder how much of it was superficial as I am uber pale and have unusual eye colour, so more of a fetish rather than having someone genuinely interested.

@Nomilkinmycoffeeplease - you’ve just identified the superficial level of interest many people have in extremely thin women. Is it just a fetish? Or will they still be loved and admired if circumstances change their shape.

You do realise that kimono are supposed to be tailored? Sure you can buy a cotton yukata off the shelf according to your height or pick one out at a hotel or ryokan, but for someone who wears kimono seriously they are cut and sewn to match your form.
As well as this there is a whole wardrobe of underwear, devices and hacks to fill out and press in women’s shapes (kitsuke aids) to help the things look good on. The only females who can just have one put on them and pull it off without the trussing and scaffolding are the 7 year olds who wear it for the 7-5-3 festival. Kimono were once worn more naturally but ended up stagnating in time during the past century. However, if you look back to the Taisho era (1920s) you can see how it was a more liveable garment, and that is how I was able to wear kimono for events when I was pregnant and when I was breastfeeding.
Here’s a photo from a publication I have showing the adaptations necessary.

I’d bet you’d look great in kimono, you’d just need one in appropriate size and tips on how to put it on and move/sit/walk in them. There’s a reason not many people (even the super slim) are wearing them anymore!

@GreenAndSpringy - but then most of our lives we do live on a superficial plane, don't we. You walk donw the street, people judge. I am so lucky as I have a very supportive partner and he does not care I put on loads of weight, and so in this respect I am very happy. But then, I also realise it's not as frequent. I know of so many women put down by their partners because of their weight (men too- whose partners don;t find them attractive if they are not muscular and slim). And let's face it, the majority of men prefer slim women. I did a lot of online dating back in the day, and there was also a bit where you have to click your body size, and lots of men having preferences for the slimmer built women. And I have not even been my size now, and felt super self conscious about myself.

Kind of makes me think of Pierce Brosnam who was fairly recently asked about his wife's weight in an interview, and he is I think one of the very few celebrities who is married to a larger woman. We are so influenced by most people on the TV and in the media being slim- I just found in Japan and Korea it's more extreme, as women tend to be more petite anyways, and the standards of beauty and perfection you need to achieve are much harsher than in the West. I once read 50% of people on Korea have gone through some form of plastic surgery, and thought, what an insanely high number.

Thank you for sharing the bits about kimonos- I was once told that making one for yourself is crazily expensive and some people settle to rent for special occasions- which is not a problem if you are average (Japanese) size. We actually went to a proper kimono rentals where they had the really good quality stuff, it was amazing and they put it all up on us, but they did say on their website that 'larger' sizes are not something they accomodate for, and I was right at the top of what they could offer. It should not have phased me, but I was with 5 tiny Asian girls who had no problems fitting in, rationally you know we're build in different way and it's fine, but then in the back of my mind there is that bit when I think- if I ate less and what not...

In 2004, I was travelling on a round the world ticket, and while I was in Singapore I wanted to buy a top in a department store in Chinatown. The sales assistant straight out said "I don't think we have anything in your size". I am 5 feet tall, and at the time I was somewhere around 9 and a half stone- so maybe a stone overweight, but "right" for me. I am considerably more than that now. I think other cultures eat more healthily (less processed food- see recent podcast series by the van Tullekens), and are very blunt about people putting on weight.