My life fucking sucks!!!

[AppleBottomJeansBootsWithDaFur]

Don't mind me, just feeling ultra sorry for myself today. Not one bit of my fucking life is working out the way a planned it and it's a thoroughly shit!
Marriage is in the toilet
Up to my eyes in debt
I feel fat and gross
Work is just awful
Kids are lovely but I'm not being the best parent as I just haven't got the patience to deal with them
Parents are useless
Friends are wrapped up in their own lives
Dog is a nightmare and DH hates him

I'm not depressed and just fucked off. I'm a nice person and I try so hard to make it all work but it's just all so throughly shit!!

Thank you for making it this far. I'm sorry if my pity party has made you sad too. How's your day going?

@arlodumbledog

maybe sit outside and have a banana?

I don’t know if this is genius, or the very worst thing I’ve ever read.

Seriously.

I may adopt it as catch-all advice when I don’t know what else to say. It has the ring of a catchphrase about it.

Shit, sorry about your arm @Crispynoodle!!

I apologise @arlodumbledog - I see you’re advising from the POV of OP not having eaten since yesterday! I was reading it very wrong
(Still think it has the ring of a catchphrase tho!)

Thank you all for being kind.

I think I'm going to adopt the banana thing too!

You'll be pleased to know that I'm feeling slightly brighter today and have popped passed Waitrose on the way home and bought something ridiculous for supper... just for me!

OP I feel exactly the same way about everything in my life as you said. It's not great is it! Solidarity

@Arcadia same here - solidarity

i got a banana stuck up my bum once. i had to clench until it all mashed up and fell out

Don’t worry. Things will change.

@Crispynoodle

Dunno if this will help but this is my current situation:

Ouch ouch ouch! You poor thing!

I too hear you...

In hospital with DD as a result of her poor mental health
Ds with ASD constantly trashing my home
Worried work thinks I'm unreliable because I couldn't go in today (see above)
Mum died in Oct
Barely any social life because it always involves drinking and that's no good for my mental health
Always skint

Honestly, I've had moments recently where I wish I would disappear. Quite a miserable contribution to your thread but you're not alone.

Here's my moans OP for solidarity:
Ongoing back problem following a back surgery and trying to get back to normal life isn't that easy and fear of back getting worse.
Struggling to lose weight which would be good for back but need to eat shit tonnes of mince pies and choc for comfort.
DH and teenage dd don't get along well.
Dog is a bit anxious and won't go out for walks if she gets scared by loud noises.
Worried about my mum who has a lot on her plate as a carer for other family members.
Money worries with difficult job situation for both DH and I at present and we are living on our savings.

I'm not going to sit outside and eat a banana as it's a bit cold and rainy and I don't like bananas that much.

That's shit OP my DD is autistic and I sometimes wonder how I help her be a decent partner as at the moment she wants a family.

I'll share the fucked off I've spent the last 2 years working flat out with barely any holiday and ensured that every single person in my family business remained employed and do I get any thanks. Nope I've got some misogynistic employees who keep raising stupid HR issues and try and have a go at me or the other two female's in the leadership team at every fucking opportunity, honestly they have tried to bring up things that happened 15 years ago, I'm sure they would say the pandemic is my fault. So far I've resisted shouting shut up you silly sexist idiots but only barely. Oh they complained and wrote multiple grievances when I wanted to pay them More 🤦‍♀️

My DD it's not getting proper support at secondary school and I'm having to fight the local authority to assess her for an ehcp but apparently it's fine because she's lovely kind and quiet in school. I do wonder if I should wind her up get her to have an autistic meltdown in school do you think it would be wrong to encourage my DD to throw chairs in school? Perhaps I could get her to bite someone she's done in the past so she's capable of it.

DS hyperactivity is not listening with age and funny enough is school and her saying to us that it might be worth investigating where is when I raised it with them that we had suspicions hyperactivity may not be neurotypical it was all but he's a boy! I know that because I gave birth to him that still doesn't change the fact but he doesn't ever stop moving and is extremely impulsive and can't control these urges but let's forget about the genetic link between autism and hyperactivity disorders no no no it's just cos he's a boy.

We've moved house as well and because the business is being so rubbish we have no spare cash to be able to renovate it or reduce the mortgage so our mortgage has doubled when everything else is gone up in price as well.

Finally my Dsis I was always be my partner in crime since we were kids has decided she's abandoning me moving to somewhere nice a few hours away. She should have a nicer life style and be happier but I mean what is she thinking she should wallow in misery with me!

I’m sorry you are having a tough time.

My house is a tip as DH does nothing in the house

I work too many hours and never seem to make progress (but I do know I am very valued at work, and I am paid very well for it, but the role can take a toll mentally)

I don’t get time to do stuff in the house to improve point 1 because I’m too busy with point 2!

We too have a nightmare dog, he’s almost 14 months old, but the 2 year old dog bullies him. Puppy stayed with my sister for a bit (she has his brother) and his bad behaviour disappeared. This makes me worry if I should send him to her permanently, because he’s so affectionate and I missed him when she had him.

I found out this week that one of my cousins has only about 6 months to live. I suspect it will be less. I think he’s had a pretty shit hand of cards dealt to him and it makes me angry.

Covid has been really tough on my husband’s business, and due to Brexit they are struggling to get staff. He is worried if the business will survive.

My son is spending too much time working rather than studying to help out in the business. I worry this will impact on him for the rest of his life if his A level grades are poor.

I have to re-type my rant as it's illegible:

DS hyperactivity is not reducing with age and funny enough his school is saying to us that it might be worth investigating. Yet when I raised it with them, that we had suspicions his hyperactivity may not be neurotypical, their answer was, but he's a boy! I know that because I gave birth to him that still doesn't change the fact but he doesn't ever stop moving and is extremely impulsive and can't control these urges but let's forget about the genetic link between autism and hyperactivity disorders no no no it's just cos he's a boy.

AuditAngel solidarity but also your DS sounds brilliant to have such a strong work ethic at his age many parents struggle with kids his age to get them to be like that. He can redo his exams and learn if needed but it's hard to get that innate drive.

I'm mostly enjoying your attitude, OP, but it'd be helpful if you could address the question of why your v young children need to be privately educated at huge expense when you're knee-deep in debt?

Privately education children due to me working at said private school! I'm SLT so need the wrap around care facility.

Take the DC out if few paying school, clear the debt, spend any money left on fun family things.

@AppleBottomJeansBootsWithDaFur

Privately education children due to me working at said private school! I'm SLT so need the wrap around care facility.

Arghh even more frustrating would a nanny or childminder work out more cost effective? & Give you the freedom to make a decision regarding your marriage?

Don't let a diagnosis of autism mean that you stop thinking that empathy and love can't be offered.... they might not be offered in conventional ways - but if DH's being crap, it may just be that he's being crap and have little or nothing to do with the autism.

The dog is at a difficult time - look up some brain games and see if you can help to tire him out a bit by doing things that make him think and work things out - this could be even things like giving him some of his food in a kong toy - ideally frozen in with natural yoghurt or peanut butter (no sweetner!).

Diet etc - I've found huge change by incorporating some protein powder into my diet. When you're not feeling like eating anything or cba or don't have time, having a scoop of protein powder in some milk will help - don't think of it as a meal replacement etc but it's much better than simply missing meals.

I'm here with you OP

• Marriage hanging on by a thread
• preschool DC hard work (but v v lovely!)
• drowning in debt. Too scared to answer the phone in case it's a debt collector
• constant arguments with DH about money
• don't know how we'll pay our rent next month
• have not been exercising
• dog annoying me
• NC with DH family and LC with mine, so no help from anyone
• no holidays, or anything, to look forward to
• everyone around me seems to have fabulous lives
• some days there's no light at the end of the tunnel

Thank you guys about my arm. to you OP in my case the silver lining is that I haven't had to work for 4 months and the arm will heal eventually as will your life OP