My life fucking sucks!!!

[AppleBottomJeansBootsWithDaFur]

Don't mind me, just feeling ultra sorry for myself today. Not one bit of my fucking life is working out the way a planned it and it's a thoroughly shit!
Marriage is in the toilet
Up to my eyes in debt
I feel fat and gross
Work is just awful
Kids are lovely but I'm not being the best parent as I just haven't got the patience to deal with them
Parents are useless
Friends are wrapped up in their own lives
Dog is a nightmare and DH hates him

I'm not depressed and just fucked off. I'm a nice person and I try so hard to make it all work but it's just all so throughly shit!!

Thank you for making it this far. I'm sorry if my pity party has made you sad too. How's your day going?

Neuro diverse or not I bet he would feel hunger! Stop feeding him.

@Fallagain

My top tip for your home cinema is do bath and dinner early without telling them it’s early and tell them they are staying up for a midnight feast. I did this last year and DD1 is still talking about it.

That is bloody inspired!

Keep the dog. He’s only 8 months,he can’t help it

@AppleBottomJeansBootsWithDaFur

I love the dog, he is just a pain in the bum because he is 8 months old and DH hates him... and wont stop going on about how much he hates him!

The debt is sort of under control, I can afford to pay it off, there is just lots as DH doesn't pay for anything except the mortgage and school fees.

Can't get rid of him though because he pays the mortgage and the school fees!!

Keep the dog

If possible maybe more stimulation some more short walks ??

Been In your shoes op

Many of us have

Problem solving helps

What can you do?
Prioritise the important little ones in your life also

Kick oh to the kerb?

Any chance of finding a new non fee paying school? Send them private again later, for secondary.

If you sold up and divided your assets would you be better of? If you less emotional load (and he sounds mean financially as well as emotionally) maybe all other thing would fall into place?

Stop suggesting she ditch the dog

Animals can help in so many ways
Sounds like you are fond of it xxxx

Why are you paying school fees when in debt? Sounds a stressful way to live.

Try and improve the diet if you can, does the dog need to stay ?
Maybe change jobs

I agree with a PP…. You need to spend some time with friends.

I’m not depressed either,but life feels very flat right now.

@AppleBottomJeansBootsWithDaFur

DH has ASD and it makes things hard between us. He is emotionally unavailable and can be very self absorbed. We are having specialist neurodiverse marriage counselling but she basically tells me that I need to accommodate his needs because he has Autism and isn't capable of accommodating mine. Which is helpful!!

That's crap advice that will lead to resentment.

I have 2 sons one with ASD diagnosis (8) the other on the pathway (6).
It is hard as hell and a nearly normal life involves all of us being told what to do (by me), I love my boys wholeheartedly but as their mum I am able to love without reciprocity. Bollocks to doing that with a partner

Get a new counsellor and try to implement routines that make you feel better? sorry it's shitty advice

@Nsky

Try and improve the diet if you can, does the dog need to stay ? Maybe change jobs

the dog seems the least of it...

Thanks all. I appreciate you taking the time to suggest stuff to me. Im listening.

Perhaps I do need to shake everything up. Scary thought though and maybe now is not the time for big decisions while Im so all over the place.

The doggo is lovely and it isn't his fault that he is a pain. He will grow out of it.

DH, on the other hand, is getting worse! He is mean with money as well as affection. He basically brings fuck all joy to my life except allowing us to financially sustain this life.... which fucking sucks!

I managed 4 hours of sleep last night and I haven't eaten since yesterday morning as I'm so stressed (I'm really fat though, so it won't hurt me to miss a meal). I just feel like there is a heavy ball of 'oh just fuck off' in my belly and it's all so shitting pointless!!

Again, not depressed though. Just fucked right off with all the quiet suburban misery!

You sound exactly me OP and its bloody hard work. My kids are older but both have stuff going on, I come home from my relatively new, very stressful job and am immediately bombarded by emotional needs from them. Then there's the endless hobbies that I facilitate. I am mostly penniless and scraping by which is draining in itself.
I have 2 pain in the arse dogs, one aged 2 and one aged 10 months.....to be fair though I would rather chop a limb off than get rid of either of them (they give the best cuddles when I'm completely broken )
My DH is NT as far as I know, unfortunately he has the emotional intelligence of a wet fart.....consequently when the kids are losing their shit he wades in and makes it ten times worse and so it goes on and on
Extended family are an emotional drain, especially at this time of year (apparently no one else can host Christmas, only me) I haven't bought the kids presents yet as I totally can't be arsed (went shopping last week and came back without most of the stuff I needed as I just felt completely exhausted even thinking about it)
So, I completely feel your pain, life is currently just utter utter shite (please keep the dog, he's only a baby and doesn't know any better )

Keep the dog
Stop private schooling - private primary is definitely not a necessity. Also , if your ds has additional needs , these are better served in a state primary imho
Get rid of dh, he is difficult to live with. Your life will improve , trust me.
Start going for walks, it will improve your mental health and also help if you want to lose weight.
This is just a blip Op, all of us go through with it at some stage. All one needs to do is take steps to tackle any issues

OP, being overweight doesn't mean you don't need to eat and nourish your body. You'll feel just as rubbish from not eating as anyone else. It sounds really hard for you at the moment, try to look after yourself too if you can.

@AppleBottomJeansBootsWithDaFur

I love the dog, he is just a pain in the bum because he is 8 months old and DH hates him... and wont stop going on about how much he hates him!

The debt is sort of under control, I can afford to pay it off, there is just lots as DH doesn't pay for anything except the mortgage and school fees.

Can't get rid of him though because he pays the mortgage and the school fees!!

Dog is in teenage phase and will improve in month or so. Honestly.

I love that you ended that by asking how our days were going!!!
Give the dog 3 months, my DH was the same with ours at that age- they grow out of it (the DHs and the puppies)

I'm a bit like that atm.
Been trying for a baby since begining of august, I'm only in cycle 5 so I don't really have any reason to feel shit but it still feels a bit shit as I so wanted to be pregnant by xmas and I wont even have a baby by next xmas unless I fall by feb.
Work is mind numbingly boring and wfh so no human contact but I can't leave as we will need my enhanced maternity pay.
Covid is a bloody joke, how are we still having rules thrust on us despite all the testing and jabbing.
Put on a bit of weight and all my clothes are tight but I cant find the energy/drive to work out as hard as I used to

Oh and my beloved cat isnt well and its going to need long term heart treatment and I'm so worried for him

Thank you for making it this far. I'm sorry if my pity party has made you sad too. How's your day going?

Period coming on, am in pain and enraged at the world so frankly I'm 100% here for this vibe.

I can't help any better than PPs with most of the points in your post but I'm confident you aren't fat and gross. I, on the other hand, have eaten an entire banana bread and 2 donuts today. So...yeah.

Chin up. You sound like a great mum. Marriage will work or not, you'll be okay. Most of us are in debt. House can be tidied. Weight can be lost. Jobs can be changed. Even the most twatty dog is awesome. I know this is all harder than my summation, but it's all true. You'll be ok. x

Dunno if this will help but this is my current situation:

No. No. No.

Ditch the DH. Life is hard enough - your marriage should be easy and comforting. If you're constantly having to work hard at your marriage then you're in the wrong marriage.

Private school at primary level is a bit silly (and I speak as someone who was privately educated).

Even if you're divorced your ex will still have to pay a healthy wack to support your children. Put your kids in a state primary. Move to a smaller house and in the move chuck out everything that isn't useful or beautiful (including your DH obvs).

I'm certain that once you have done the above your head will be in a much more positive place and tackling your weight issues will be much easier.

For your dog's happiness, your kid's happiness and for your happiness - divorce.
Will you ever feel emotionally happy with this man?
If you're emotionally happy everything else seems more manageable.
Change is scary but worth it.

You go ahead and bitch and moan! Life is shit sometimes, not depression, not bad luck, not being negative but just fucking shit!!

My life is falling apart around me at the moment and has been for the last few months- one massive shockwave after another with no restbite in between. It’s devastating, fucking heart breaking and I’m being drowned!

Blow the candles out and cut the cake, I’ll join you in this much needed pity party

maybe sit outside and have a banana?