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Original poster

Handhold - on postnatal ward and struggling

58 replies

ActonBell · 08/12/2021 18:56

Baby is one day old. I had a long labour and emergency C-section in the end. Baby has had a few issues with infection markers and breathing. He’s with me but we’re being kept in at least 3 days for treatment and observation.

I’m at a great hospital- the staff are really helpful and not too overwhelmed. I’m in a 4 bed bay and two people left today but I guess it may fill up again later.

So, the experience could be a lot worse. But my husband can only visit for a couple of hours a day because of covid. I miss my son at home. I’m struggling with breastfeeding, I’m in a lot of pain from the op and hormones are kicking in making me teary. It’s hot and I’m struggling to get any sleep night or day. I’m so sad that my little one has a cannula in and had to have an X-ray today.

How do I get through the next few days on my own? I have snacks, water, and a few programmes downloaded on my phone. I have a reasonably comfortable bed and I can ask the staff for help, so like I say it could be worse. I just feel incredibly overwhelmed at the minute especially at night.

I feel like I could just about cope if I was focusing just on my recovery or on baby but trying to do both by myself seems just impossible.

OP posts:
CheeseMmmm · 09/12/2021 04:27

Plus.

I know it's hard but try to remember.

You and baby are there for a reason which is to look after you both.
That's a good thing.

You have had a massive operation. You have a new baby to care for. Hormones doing their thing.
Of course you feel upset, no doubt in pain, bleeding, overwhelmed.
Of course you want to go home.

At the moment though you are where you need to be, both of you.
It's 3 days. Will feel long as you feel rubbish. 3 days though is doable. You will go home soon.

You're talking to other DC video phone I'm sure. Try to be upbeat. Smile look baby! He I'm sure loves seeing you and his happiness will make you feel better.

Chin up OP! I know it's hard but it will soon be over.

OctMama · 09/12/2021 04:48

Hi OP,
Congratulations on the birth of your baby I am sorry to hear you are finding things difficult it must be very hard for you especially the first few days trying to establish breastfeeding and recovering from birth you need to be comfortable and with your loved ones around you to support.

I had my first child last month and whilst I did not have a c section I was induced which took 3 days and then we were kept in overnight for monitoring on the first night, came home for one night and were re admitted for 4 days due to my baby having severe jaundice. It was really tough and I remember feeling just like you!
I found speaking to the infant feeding worker really useful and using the hospital electric breast pump. Like some other posters have suggested it’s tough trying to sleep as the midwives are coming in and out (I remember my baby having the newborn blood tests at 3amConfused) headphones are a good idea there are a few white noise videos on YouTube or earplugs. When your husband does come to visit, try to use that time to get some rest. Magazines, books and podcasts are good too and keep hydrated with plenty of snacks.

Hopefully it won’t be long till your back home and enjoying your newborn sending you lots of love.

birdglasspen · 09/12/2021 04:56

Sleep whenever you can, if the staff need to see you or baby they will wake you, get every bit of rest you can! X

Interested in this thread?

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Antenatal & postnatal Families General health
teezletangler · 09/12/2021 05:23

That is so tough being in a shared ward in that situation! My baby went to NICU for one day and then was with me for 5 days of observation- we were given a private long-stay room with extra amenities and it made all the difference in the world. I'm not sure how I'd have coped otherwise. It sounds like you are being tested to the limit. I'd make a nuisance of myself and ask again tomorrow if there is a possibility of being moved. Also please let the midwives know how you are feeling.

ijustneedasleep · 09/12/2021 08:07

How're you doing this morning OP? How was last night?

If it helps to chat then we are all here and more than happy to keep you going!

Bagelsandbrie · 09/12/2021 08:10

If you are in pain ask for stronger painkillers. I found after my c section they tried to taper me back to just paracetamol super fast and actually I could have done with another few days on oramorph or something else. With hindsight that was making me feel more tearful and stressed as the pain was so draining, so do make sure you tell them you’re in a lot of pain and ask for something stronger / a higher dose.

EishetChayil · 09/12/2021 08:18

I went through exactly this, almost to the letter, when my DD was born last year. I was in for 5 nights post c-section, both of us on antibiotics for an infection.

The nights were the worst. I got through by reminding myself constantly that it was just temporary, and I would be home with DH soon. I also took some comfort from watching other women's birth stories on YouTube on my phone or iPad!

Original poster
ActonBell · 09/12/2021 09:28

I survived the night. He cluster fed until 2.30 but then I was able to get a chunk of sleep. Too tired to say much but it’s light, he’s looking well and I’ve had some strong painkillers now and they’re taking my cannula out at least so hopefully onwards and upwards.

OP posts:
DownWhichOfLate · 09/12/2021 09:37

Well done! It is incredibly hard, but you’re doing it. Would your own pillow from home help? Might sound silly or trivial but it made a huge difference for me. Someone upthread asked: do you have a name yet?

Trytowin20 · 09/12/2021 09:41

I'm sorry, being in hospital at all the moment is so difficult. Hope everything is going as well as possible for you.

I had my daughter in Nov 2020 so my husband was able to carry my bags and set it out for me in postnatal that's was all that was allowed and I found that so difficult and cruel. Frankly I was pathetically grateful for even that which says a lot 🙄. I'm truly glad you get visits though it's not as much as it should be.

I video called my husband so I could see my eldest and they could see baby, the lady on the other bay was in for quite a while as her baby was unwell, her husband brought her eldest out to the carpark and called her to look out the window and wave. We both cried at that 🥺, I sobbed (happy for her tears) into my dinner

Hers was much smaller so video didn't really work for interaction whereas my girl at 3 was as least able to look and get involved for a little bit on the phone.

You got this Mama!

LefttoherownDevizes · 09/12/2021 09:42

Oh OP it's a particular kind of loneliness that is so very bleak.

Whether you have faith or none there should be a Chaplaincy team who can do pastoral visits, esp of your baby is unwell. Our hospital has a Humanist too but any Chaplain should come and just spend time with you, no pressure to pray or convert. As they are considered members of staff they shouldn't have to stick to visiting hours only.

Really hope you're all well and out soon Flowers

Original poster
ActonBell · 09/12/2021 12:23

Thank you everyone. He’s doing really well today. If the latest blood tests come back for okay and his weight is okay tomorrow then we might be able to go home tomorrow afternoon.
They’re not going to give him any more antibiotics for now and will see how he does and what the blood tests say.

He doesn’t have a name yet. We can’t decide what he looks like. Feel free to make suggestions! We like fairly classic names.

OP posts:
DownWhichOfLate · 09/12/2021 13:09

That’s great news! Alexander; Samuel; William; Christopher; Daniel; Michael.

ijustneedasleep · 09/12/2021 13:19

That's fantastic news OP, fingers crossed for you!
Hope the painkillers are helping too. There's a fine line between moving around enough to stop swelling and moving around too much and being exhausted.

Two of mine were almost Jacob which I still love.
Nicholas would be nice for a wee December baby!

ImAbsolutelyTwatted · 09/12/2021 13:27

Henry, Tom, Edward. 3 of my faves (one we used Grin) congrats on your baby boy OP. You're doing fantastically well Thanks

Gregsprinkles · 09/12/2021 13:34

Hope you get to go home tomorrow!

squee123 · 09/12/2021 13:35

Good news! Do give the National Breastfeeding Helpline a call. They're free and fabulous. 0300 1000212

AgathaMystery · 09/12/2021 13:38

Sending love. My practical tip is ask DH to bring in a flight mask. You will have better, deeper sleep/naps which will help with your recovery.

nitsandwormsdodger · 09/12/2021 13:41

Keep moving the pain inside is gas and make sure you drink gallons of the anti constipation meds I mean gallons ! I would do up and down corridor every half hour
Bottles are always an option
Harry styles sleep podcast thing is lovely ... xxxx

DownWhichOfLate · 09/12/2021 14:21

Nicholas is a fantastic suggestion! Or how about Gabriel? Possibly not traditional enough!

EvenLess07 · 09/12/2021 14:39

Poor you OP Flowers I'm so glad your little one is doing better today. I know it's very cliche but be kind to yourself, this is really hard but soon you'll be home with your lovely baby.

Keep on top of your painkillers, try and drink some peppermint tea/the anti wind stuff they give you. The first few days after a C-section are no walk in the park but I bet you'll be feeling much better soon. Unmumsnetty hugs and congratulations to you Smile

AtLeastThreeDrinks · 09/12/2021 16:28

Not much to add but you’re doing amazingly – just wanted to send some love. It’s really tough and the tears are completely normal; I look back now and laugh at the things that set me off! Try to keep it light if you can, I binge-watched Friends while my baby cluster fed. It’s a hard time of year as the nights feel very long at the moment, but the light comes and you’ll be home before you know it. Flowers and Cake for you and a massive congratulations on your lovely new baby.

elenacampana · 09/12/2021 17:33

Good on you OP. You have done another day, that’s a day closer to bringing him home.

Come back here and post again if you need to. I got a lot of comfort from the fab women here who helped me through my 12 days in the hospital last month!

littleowls83 · 09/12/2021 17:40

Only way to get through the postnatal ward is to take ALL the good drugs they offer you so you are slightly out of it the entire time.

ILookHorrible · 09/12/2021 17:43

In lockdown when I couldn’t have any visitors I developed an upset stomach 24. Hours after c section I had to keep just leaving my baby as they weren’t allowed in bathroom then I desp needed a shower and asked the midwife can I leave baby in the cot next to nurses station and she barked at me ‘no! That’s not what I’m here for I have work to do leave baby in your bay’ I was so so upset she was rude and so unpleasant