Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Year 7 Whats App

42 replies

MarysEasyCooking · 08/12/2021 17:30

Does your Y7 ds or dd have a form WA group? I know that WA is 16+ but all the kids are using it to stay in touch and not being on WA means you're left out. We don't allow TT or any of the other social media apps but WA is very tricky to deny as that is where all the conversations happen.

Ds goes to a good secondary with generally good behaviour and happy kids but OMG, the WA group shock.

Swearing, rudeness, and some borderline explicit gifs and videos being shared.

We do spot checks every few day, which ds knows and he has been very good not to get drawn into the gif spamming and general rudeness but answers or asks the occasional homework and after school club question.

Do most parents keep an eye on their dc communications? Or not? How do you navigate this?

OP posts:

ButterflyBitch · 08/12/2021 17:35

My son is in year 7 and is on a tutor group WhatsApp and a year group WhatsApp as well as a couple of friendship groups. The class one and the year 7 one is mostly them saying hi to each other or arranging to meet up at the park. I don’t think he really takes part in it. He did message a girl and ask her some questions (he has additional needs and didn’t realise how creepy this would be) and I explained that he can’t message people he doesn’t know, especially girls. I don’t think he got it (very innocent) but he’s not done it since and mainly chats to his friends. He also knows I can and will check his phone every so often.

Original poster

MarysEasyCooking · 08/12/2021 17:47

Your son sounds lovely. I'm glad your dc's WA groups seem a bit more civilised but it makes me more worried about my Ds's form WA.

Last week some boys were teasing each other about which girls they find hot or not and some of the children post doing the school day, which is not allowed. Lots of seemingly nice girls say Fuck Off, WTF, etc. Am I behind the times or is this how 11 and 12 year olds communicate nowadays? This is a 'nice' school btw.

OP posts:

Findahouse21 · 08/12/2021 17:49

Using the term 'fuck' doesn't make you not nice. You sound judgy to the max

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General education Secondary education

itwasntaparty · 08/12/2021 17:52

My kids have it in y6. There is a class one and a girls one. The girls one is fine. The class one and two specific boys sending almost porn and bullying have made me have a meeting with the safeguarding team this week.

I check dts messages every night and we are very open about what is and isn't acceptable. They have left the class group.

Yes they're young for it but it's a way for them to communicate, you just need to be shut hit in policing it.

Strangevipers · 08/12/2021 17:54

Yes this is how kids communicate, they all swear even the nice ones around each other and then infront of their parents they wouldn't dare swear.

It's just the way kids are nowadays, just keep an eye and go from there

Original poster

MarysEasyCooking · 08/12/2021 17:57

@Findahouse21

Using the term 'fuck' doesn't make you not nice. You sound judgy to the max

11 year olds saying 'Fuck off' in an online conversation isn't exactly nice, is it.

OP posts:

Iggly · 08/12/2021 18:00

WhatsApp - yes my year 7 has it.

People get quite hung up on the age limit but better to step back and think what is the app, and why is it 16? It’s not dissimilar to text messaging to be honest.

My ds does swear on WhatsApp and he gets a talking too when it happens. They’re playing around with what they can/can’t do - but I’ve explained to him that adults read the messages and can get the wrong impression of him.

But I swear. Loads. Does that make me a bad person?

rainbowandglitter · 08/12/2021 18:01

My year 7 is in a few WhatsApp groups including a year 7 one.

Beamur · 08/12/2021 18:04

WA is a really useful tool.
However, I did suggest to my DD that maybe holding off from joining a class one until she knew people better might be sensible. She's sometimes been a bit on the outside of knowing what's going on but overall I think it's saved her hassle as she clashed very badly with some boys in her form. She uses it with friends only.

milkysmum · 08/12/2021 18:12

Yes my year 7 dd used WhatsApp. She is is in various different chat groups at present.

educatingrati · 08/12/2021 18:33

Nope DD doesn't have it. She hates me but I don't care, my job is to make sure she is safe, I don't give flying fuck what other parents do; I won't be manipulated into her having inappropriate apps on her phone.

JuneOsborne · 08/12/2021 18:36

My Ds is in y12 now bit I was really shocked by the sheer number of messages! And all through the night.

My Ds left because he found it over whelming.

WotgunShedding · 08/12/2021 18:36

DS (in year 7) doesn’t have it. He doesn’t seem too fussed and doesn’t really use his phone much so we’re happy to stick to this and reevaluate if he asks for it. My feeling is that it’ll remain this way for a good while though.

Original poster

MarysEasyCooking · 08/12/2021 18:36

But I swear. Loads. Does that make me a bad person? Not at all, I swear too but these kids almost only swear "bye mother fucking weirdos" seems a favourite expression. It's just silly spamming, swearing and discussing which girls are hot or not. Maybe it's from gaming. They send up to 200 messages between 7pm and 7am.

OP posts:

curlyLJ · 08/12/2021 18:51

@MarysEasyCooking

My yr7 daughter was added to a whole year group chat that clocked up over 700 messages in little over 2 hours

She deleted it as she finds it annoying, I had a brief look through the messages and there was a lot of what you describe. Thankfully DD just likes to be in small groups of her actual friends.

vinoandbrie · 08/12/2021 18:52

No, not on WhatsApp and not on a group like this on any other platform. School is clear that these groups cause issues, and there is no way I would tolerate this. None.

AmIgoinghomeforXmas · 08/12/2021 18:54

My dc have these.
I actually reported once to the school when one dc was being very unpleasant to another.
School dealt with it.
My dc were mortified and again when I reported tik tocs being filmed in the bathrooms.

I have no fucks to give on this subject however.

They can use their phones but I will monitor and step in if I see fit.

LoveGrooveDanceParty · 08/12/2021 19:02

Year 8 DS has school teams chat which has been fine.

Year 6 DD has kids messenger, which has again been fine because the account is fully linked with a parent’s FB account. They all got this during lockdown last year.

No sign of DS wanting WhatsApp.

The kids seem to totally forget that adults are reading their chat. I drum this into my two all the time.

EvilPea · 08/12/2021 19:10

Mine don’t have it.
I have mixed feelings on it.
They do get left out a bit.
But they also don’t get drawn into all the drama (and there is a lot of drama). There’s also been a few random people being added to groups.
As I say. Mixed feelings on it.

IgneousRock · 08/12/2021 19:20

My DS is at a 'nice' comp, and I was shocked by the language in the Y7 WhatsApp group.

Original poster

MarysEasyCooking · 08/12/2021 20:11

I'm tempted to ask him to leave the group at the risk of him being out of the loop. A few girls were calling ds a nerd on the group , he didn't seem too bothered maybe you as parents we just have to let it play out and let it be a learning experience for them. I find it also quite weird that a few of the kids take their phones out during the school day and text during the lesson, one took and shared a picture of the maths classroom. It's against the rules to take out your phone during the school day, they're quite cheeky.

OP posts:

TheTurn0fTheScrew · 08/12/2021 20:18

I don't have WhatsApp, and so forgot to factor in the Epic Everyone Groupchat issue when i let my then Year 7 kid have WhatsApp when she first got her phone. Although she wasn't directly affected, it was where all the twattery went on. She kept leaving the massive groups, but was always being added back by someone (I understand you can't stop a friend from adding you back???).

Anyhow - the good news is that the twattery definitely peaked in year7, and now (year 10) everyone just messages their actual mates. My poor DC2 will suffer for my naivety and isn't going to be allowed WhatsApp for the first term at least .

AmIgoinghomeforXmas · 08/12/2021 20:24

Yes I would agree the large nonsense filled groups die down and smaller groups with just friends on become more standard.
Also the being added in and dropped out also stops.

rrhuth · 08/12/2021 20:30

@MarysEasyCooking

I think you're right to be concerned.

rrhuth · 08/12/2021 20:32

@EvilPea

Mine don’t have it. I have mixed feelings on it. They do get left out a bit. But they also don’t get drawn into all the drama (and there is a lot of drama). There’s also been a few random people being added to groups. As I say. Mixed feelings on it.

Mine didn't/don'teither. It is not healthy for them, always ends in bullying of someone.

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread