Tell me to stop eyeing these boxes with such anxiety

[Wenjie]

I already posted on here that my ILs got my youngest a giant dollhouse. DH called them and returned it, so I should be happy. But there's a total of 31 packages that have arrived. And yes, many are small. But our home is so small and I'm so nervous that I'm literally having trouble falling asleep at night because I keep thinking about these boxes!

Crikey. Let them spoil their grandchildren. You'd be on here moaning if they didn't buy them enough.

@NalPolishRemover

Obviously I don't know the dynamics of your relationship with your in-laws at all but working from what you've presented in this thread I honestly don't think this is about the presents at all.

I think it's a power struggle & you want to control what the gps give your children ; when.

In all honesty none of the presents that you've listed would give me stress or sleepless nights. It's a lot of books / video games, a couple of soft toys & consumables - felt tip pens & lip gloss & sweets. As a pp has said if your dc is interested in animals it is a thoughtful enough selection

Are you concerned that gps are giving more presents than you / Santa are?

There's something more going on here because gps taking an interest & putting thought & effort into getting presents for your dc shouldn't be a cause of such high levels of stress & anxiety & perhaps that needs looking at?

My parents always bought loads for my dc, my in-laws v v little through a mixture of different family culture around gifts/ Christmas (V little effort made at all) & just not bothering. For dcs sake I would have e loved the in-laws to make a tiny bit more effort but it was What it was.

Can't you do a clear out of the stuff your dc already have & donate anything still working in advance of them opening their presents?

We lived in a v small house when I was growing up & my favourite aunty excelled at getting us big impressive (not necessarily expensive!) Presents & the excitement of those big parcels under the tree was amazing. They were mostly things like a woven straw dolls moses basket bit you could almost fit a real baby into it. Another year I got a wooden high chair for my tiny tears doll etc. We loved that aunty she was kind & thoughtful & fun & her presents were the best & my mum (her sister) never made a fuss about these new toys. Everyone was excited to see what was in the big parcel & we always raced to open them 1st. My other aunt (mums other sister) always gave sensible but dull presents like pjs or dressing gowns which we tolerated but didn't excite us

Don't ruin it for your dc, they're only small for such a short time

This! This 100%!!

@supersonicginandtonic

I'd be asking my in laws for money for a deposit to move. 4 kids in a 1 bedroom is ridiculous and not sustainable. Those kids need their own space and privacy. I'm presuming you have money if you ship your 18 year old off to school. I certainly wouldn't be moaning about gifts, I'd be getting my priorities right. Especially as you had to send a dolls house back which is a fantastic present for an 8 year old girl.

Just for the sake of clarity, it was a police and fire station dollhouse for my four year old son.

@MrsLarry No, they've always given one gift before and I never complained. My own mother is only getting my oldest DS a pillowcase and a new pair of shoes. This was unexpected, and very out of character for them.

If you’ve got uninvolved grandparents it can seem churlish or ungrateful to complain about receiving lots of presents.
However, if you haven’t got space it’s not a gift! If you live in a small house anyway, lots of ‘things’ become stressful.
I would definitely be opening them and sticking them in a bag for life. The packaging is always way too big. It might make it seem less daunting in one bag.

Sorry OP but I think the presents are the least of your worries. 1 bedroom house for a family of 6 should be your priority.

Are they in a different country and that’s why the presents come directly to you not to them?

Have they seen where you live?

Can you rent a lock up or something to keep excess stuff until you are able to move in the summer?

Open all the boxes (you need to make sure everything is intact and not broken anyway). Put all the smaller gifts inside the pink backpack, as much as you can possibly fit in it and wrap that. Stack the books together and wrap them. Take one of the empty boxes, the smallest possible and put the rest of the gifts in it and wrap that. Then the 31 becomes 3 presents for your DD. Flatten the rest of the boxes and stick them in the recycling.

I am tempted to chime in with ... Have you considered that your in laws might be displaying signs of dementia!!!

@trilbydoll

I think people are suggesting OP opens the amazon boxes and removes all the excess packaging that way, not rip off wrapping paper and casually chuck the contents into the toy box with no ceremony!

She didn't say anything about Amazon boxes. Just that she was unwrapping presents sent for her child. Which is decidedly odd.

warmduscher

Well I think most people could make the time - but it seems like such a waste of time!

[quote Wenjie]@RaininSummer This is what they sent for my 8 year old daughter. Mind you, this is only one of my kids!

Wooden magnetic fishing game; fennec fox toy animal, koala toy animal, unicorn toy animal, dog toy animal, llama toy animal, Super Mario video game, Pet Clinic video game, a book called Lisette the Vet, 10 "rainbow" dry erase markers, 6 "neon" dry erase markers, magnetic felt eraser, batteries, a pink rucksack, plastic stethoscope; light up & sound unicorn, unicorn lip gloss; sour fruit flavored sweets; a small pink bag; four Minecraft books, unicorn pillow, chocolate, A Wrinkle In Time; I Want to be a Vet activity book, a hardcover book filled with color photos of animals[/quote]
I would have no problem cutting that down to a quarter. Just put the rest put of sight, and charity shop after Christmas. The thank you letter can say 'thank you for the presents, I especially liked x'.

You can manage this.

charity shop after Christmas

Charity shop now surely so some other child can benefit.

@YourenutsmiLord

charity shop after Christmas

Charity shop now surely so some other child can benefit.

Some other child will benefit later, perhaps for birthdays.

After Christmas is strategic because if there are awkward questions about e.g. the soft toy unicorn, it can be fished out

She didn't say anything about Amazon boxes. Just that she was unwrapping presents sent for her child. Which is decidedly odd.

The title and opening post say boxes have arrived.

A later post says she’s not unwrapping presents.

When you live abroad it is pretty normal for grandparents to order stuff to be sent directly to you, then you wrap it.

Not 31 boxes of gifts though…!

OP I can imagine your panic given your small space. The GPs are not being at all thoughtful here.

I would absolutely take all the smaller stocking filter type stuff and just wrap it up individually and make a lucky dip to use through the year for when your kids do well, get start of the week, go above and beyond in doing chores/helping/tidying etc.

I do understand why this is bothering you but I cannot believe that people are suggesting that you take gifts, sent for you children, not you, and give them away before they’ve even seen them!
This is not your stuff to give away!!
Your ILs have not been Very sensible about this but I don’t think you can just give away their gifts without permission.

Is it possible that your inlaws are sending so much stuff as a compensation for not having seen your dc in a couple of years?

Have they ever actually been to your apartment and do they know exactly how cramped your space is?

It is an unusual situation to have 6 people living in a 1 bedroom flat though.

If this is really out of character for them couldn't you have a conversation with them about it? To see what's going on?

Perhaps they're really missing seeing you all?

My parents used to give us huge toys for the kids, even though they lived 3 miles up the road and knew perfectly well how little space we had. It was their way of showing love but it just totally stressed us out.

I much preferred my MIL's and dad's approach of putting some cash in my bank account, and asking me to get the kids something that they actually wanted.