Tell me to stop eyeing these boxes with such anxiety

[Wenjie]

I already posted on here that my ILs got my youngest a giant dollhouse. DH called them and returned it, so I should be happy. But there's a total of 31 packages that have arrived. And yes, many are small. But our home is so small and I'm so nervous that I'm literally having trouble falling asleep at night because I keep thinking about these boxes!

Pick the same sized packaging boxes for each of your kids. Open all the post. Fill each box with enough stuff that it can still close. Wrap the box in christmas paper and put their names on.

The rest of the stuff - put it in the loft til their birthdays

Then get dh to write/phone in the new year and ask them to cap the gifts at 4 each from now on as the kids get overwhelmed.

My sister holds back gifts - her kids are very lucky and there are gifts galore! So where appropriate she holds back some of the gifts as PP have suggested for rainy days, boring days, sick days whatever and (I think this is the clever bit) thanks the person on the day she uses it saying how grateful she was to have the activity and that it would have been lost of xmas day and that would have been a shame etc etc.

I often receive these messages from her and I know I do spoil the kids, but I hope I don't give her anxiety about 'stuff' - you have made me think about this from another perspective!

Obviously I don't know the dynamics of your relationship with your in-laws at all but working from what you've presented in this thread I honestly don't think this is about the presents at all.

I think it's a power struggle & you want to control what the gps give your children ; when.

In all honesty none of the presents that you've listed would give me stress or sleepless nights. It's a lot of books / video games, a couple of soft toys & consumables - felt tip pens & lip gloss & sweets. As a pp has said if your dc is interested in animals it is a thoughtful enough selection

Are you concerned that gps are giving more presents than you / Santa are?

There's something more going on here because gps taking an interest & putting thought & effort into getting presents for your dc shouldn't be a cause of such high levels of stress & anxiety & perhaps that needs looking at?

My parents always bought loads for my dc, my in-laws v v little through a mixture of different family culture around gifts/ Christmas (V little effort made at all) & just not bothering. For dcs sake I would have e loved the in-laws to make a tiny bit more effort but it was What it was.

Can't you do a clear out of the stuff your dc already have & donate anything still working in advance of them opening their presents?

We lived in a v small house when I was growing up & my favourite aunty excelled at getting us big impressive (not necessarily expensive!) Presents & the excitement of those big parcels under the tree was amazing. They were mostly things like a woven straw dolls moses basket bit you could almost fit a real baby into it. Another year I got a wooden high chair for my tiny tears doll etc. We loved that aunty she was kind & thoughtful & fun & her presents were the best & my mum (her sister) never made a fuss about these new toys. Everyone was excited to see what was in the big parcel & we always raced to open them 1st. My other aunt (mums other sister) always gave sensible but dull presents like pjs or dressing gowns which we tolerated but didn't excite us

Don't ruin it for your dc, they're only small for such a short time

If they don't come to your house then just donate some of it to charity.

I thought my ILs were bad the year that they bought my kid 13 presents!

Having to accommodate stuff is a huge imposition, especially when it's every birthday, Christmas and random 'surprise' parcel.

I would take half or more and shove them in a bin bag and take them to oxfam.
This is just ridiculous.
And if they get 2000 toys this xmas what is left for next and the next and the next.

@chartreue You're right, of course. They're very lucky.

@MrsPelligrinoPetrichor We're a family of six living in a one bedroom that's 687 square feet. The dollhouse was really large. My in laws didn't even know it was so big- they hadn't looked carefully at the picture before clicking on it to buy. They assured us that they thought it was one of those small folding dollhouses. Not a giant one that needed floorspace.

And anxiety is not fun - you can't just tell yourself - don't be silly it's nothging and carry on.
This is causing the OP anxiety - which is the last thing you need as xmas approaches she needs to do something which fixes that.

Something that's ridiculous!
Mine have also brought clothes when I have just got them! And when we were short of money it was infuriating esp things like a dressing gown or pj that I couidnt easily sell on.
What is wrong with just asking?
Like Advent calender, dc already has two each, posh ones and they thrust yet another at them.

Op I feel your pain. Yes it's lovely but..

@NalPolishRemover Oh no! I'd hate for them to view it as a power struggle! That's part of why I'm so reluctant to put some of these good suggestions into action. We really do live in a very, very small space, which my in laws didn't realize. And their buying habits changed this year, which was unexpected.

How old are your kids a d how on earth do you cope in a tiny one bed? I'd be feeling anxious about that not the toys.

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

Pick the same sized packaging boxes for each of your kids. Open all the post. Fill each box with enough stuff that it can still close. Wrap the box in christmas paper and put their names on.

The rest of the stuff - put it in the loft til their birthdays

Then get dh to write/phone in the new year and ask them to cap the gifts at 4 each from now on as the kids get overwhelmed.

This!

I'm not in the least anxious but that many boxes hanging around would give me anxiety! Get it all packed into one box per kid. Pens and things can be bundled up into the loft until they are needed. Batteries - that is actually really thoughtful, but they don't need to be wrapped for opening, they can go straight into a drawer. No kid gets a thrill from unwrapping a pack of AAs!

Books I always think are nice as a bundle. But again, they can be put away for a rainy day if you so choose.

I don't like the way they've handled this but an hour's work when the kids are in school or bed today will get that sorted and off your mental list. You shouldn't have to, of course, but if the alternative is anxiety for the rest of the build-up then you need to take control.

[quote Wenjie]@RaininSummer This is what they sent for my 8 year old daughter. Mind you, this is only one of my kids!

Wooden magnetic fishing game; fennec fox toy animal, koala toy animal, unicorn toy animal, dog toy animal, llama toy animal, Super Mario video game, Pet Clinic video game, a book called Lisette the Vet, 10 "rainbow" dry erase markers, 6 "neon" dry erase markers, magnetic felt eraser, batteries, a pink rucksack, plastic stethoscope; light up & sound unicorn, unicorn lip gloss; sour fruit flavored sweets; a small pink bag; four Minecraft books, unicorn pillow, chocolate, A Wrinkle In Time; I Want to be a Vet activity book, a hardcover book filled with color photos of animals[/quote]
for an 8 year old??

a magnetic fishing game is for 3 year olds!!! same with plastic stethoscpes!
some of those are ridiculous.

@DontBeCatty 18, 10, 8, and 4. My 18 year old is away with school most of the time. My 10 year old and 8 year old are in bunk beds and we use a kallax from ikea as a wall divider. Instead of a sofa, we have ikea's cheapest daybed. Then DH and I sleep in the bedroom and have a junior bed for my 4 year old, but he honestly climbs into bed with us most nights. And we have a table that seats six and spend most of our time at home there. And we have a "garden" that is all pavement and lacks greenery, but it's really big for such a small place.

All toys, books, games, and art supplies need to fit in the kallax or the dresser on the wall across from the daybed.

It's definitely not ideal, but it's like a delicate ecosystem that can get on well enough and is easily disrupted.

I can’t believe they have the nerve to send them all for you to wrap!

It's stressful when people but lots/large gifts with no thought as to where you are going to keep them. My mum bought my dc a giant football table one year that weighed a ton and took up half my lounge! All she was thinking was that the kids would love it, but I bloody didn't!
My ILs used to do it too - it comes from a place of love and wanting to give their grandchildren the world, but they don't have to live with any of this stuff!
Anyway, OP, I agree with pp that you should ditch the excess packaging and reorganise these gifts do they don't take up too much space. It will save you money on buying presents yourself too, since your dc won't need so much from you.

@Wenjie

I already posted on here that my ILs got my youngest a giant dollhouse. DH called them and returned it, so I should be happy. But there's a total of 31 packages that have arrived. And yes, many are small. But our home is so small and I'm so nervous that I'm literally having trouble falling asleep at night because I keep thinking about these boxes!

31?!?! Nope, he returned some, he can return more. People do things like this with nice intentions but it just makes work for you keeping on top of it all, finding places to put it, keeping all the bits together and storing it. If you were comfortable returning things before, I would definitely do it again

His parents, he needs to sort them out.

I don't understand, tell them there is no space for all this shite, get them one present [and tell them what] each and be done with it.

Don't open them, stop accepting them in the first place.

Although as a keen composter, I'd be over the moon with all the cardboard.

Given. your living conditions, your IL's behaviour is very very strange.

Lots of people on here find present giving and receiving very stressful. Me included... I detest consumption, unless I am buying something that we need or really want, but I do know that kids enjoy stuff!!

I think you have to be clear... Dear ILs... are there many more boxes to come... we are really running out of space here.. take a photo of all of the boxes piled up in your bedroom.. the kids will be thrilled with the piles of loot but are also expecting Father Christmas to bring things and I do not know where we will put everything.

Unpack everything, have a cull and put the rest in one box for each child as suggested by a poster up thread. You could wrap them individually in the box if you like.

If there is a local toy collection, donate the culled presents there.

Good luck.. I think your living conditions and the even increasing pile of boxes would test anyone's patience.

I'd be asking my in laws for money for a deposit to move. 4 kids in a 1 bedroom is ridiculous and not sustainable. Those kids need their own space and privacy.
I'm presuming you have money if you ship your 18 year old off to school.
I certainly wouldn't be moaning about gifts, I'd be getting my priorities right. Especially as you had to send a dolls house back which is a fantastic present for an 8 year old girl.

Someone needs to have very strong words with your ILs about the reality of your living conditions. Where does your 18 year old sleep when they come home? No wonder you're anxious. The sheer lack of space would make me anxious, never mind all the parcels turning up.

Don't wrap anything just get a Santa sack. Or giant gift bag and put stuff in it from granny and grandad. They sound like they have made good use of their Amazon prime 🙄

@supersonicginandtonic We live in the states, outside of San Francisco. My 18 year old took out the largest loan amount she was allowed for university, and she got a middle class scholarship, and we took out a loan for the rest. We do have money, but we have a big tax bill coming up that we've almost finished saving for. We expect to be in a good financial position in June. At that point we can consider selling, because right now it would cost us more to sell our home than we'd get back in the sale.