Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Birthdays close to Christmas

28 replies

JojobaFromOctober · 07/12/2021 18:55

Those of you who have birthdays close to Christmas - how bad is it now you are adults if people get you a bigger combined present rather than two smaller separate presents? I would never do it for a child but my partner has his birthday very close to Christmas and I was considering getting him something big for Christmas, much more than I would usually spend on just one present, and then a small token present for his birthday. Is this unacceptable or is it all right once you're an adult?

OP posts:
EssexLioness · 07/12/2021 19:17

It’s not as bad as when you were younger but it still feels like a bit of a lazy option to me if I’m honest. My birthday is a few days after Christmas. All my adult life people have been too skint/ busy/ tired to celebrate my birthday properly after the run up to Christmas. Or they are on a diet come January so won’t come out for a birthday meal etc.

I hate the cold and dark nights so a winter birthday already feels a little gloomy to me so whilst I don’t expect a huge fuss on my birthday, a few small gifts to open and maybe a nice meal out/ takeaway really help me feel as though I am not an after thought.

I do understand the gift being more expensive but for me personally I would rather have two smaller gifts, or at least the present you have planned and then a token gift to open on my birthday itself, even if that was just a small box of my favourite chocolates or something

EssexLioness · 07/12/2021 19:19

PS if you want to gauge how your partner feels, casually ask him if he got many joint presents when younger. If he’s like a lot of us, then he will prob make his feelings clear and then you will know where you stand!

Lalallama · 07/12/2021 19:21

I still hate joint presents (you'd think I'd have got over it after 49 years!). If someone's birthday was in June you wouldn't get them a joint present, they'd get two proper presents.

Although having said that, as it's your partner, could you just ask him? He might not have as much of a chip on his shoulder about it as I do. Xmas Grin

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Christmas Events & celebrations
Stompythedinosaur · 07/12/2021 19:22

My partner has a birthday close to Christmas. I would still avoid joint presents. While he is an adult so I'm sure he would be gracious about a joint gift, I suspect it would remind him of all the times as a child that his birthday was overlooked in favour of christmas.

Freebird61 · 07/12/2021 19:40

My birthday is on the 23rd and I’ve always had separate presents. This year my sons are buying me a joint birthday and Xmas present together as it’s something I really want and more than they would usually spend.
As a family we don’t really do surprise presents so I’m more than happy.

AugustSeptemberOctober · 07/12/2021 19:42

There's less than a week between my birthday and Christmas, and I wouldn't mind a bit if I got a combined present. However I would appreciate a token present to open on the other day, even if just a small box of chocolates. I think combining the presents can be a great opportunity to get something extra special!

AugustSeptemberOctober · 07/12/2021 19:43

However I have had Christmas cards with "P.S Happy Birthday" in them which gets an eye roll!

Beebumble2 · 07/12/2021 19:45

My birthdays just after Christmas. I can’t remember getting joint presents, but I do remember not getting presents for my birthday because I’d just been given one!
Birthdays around Christmas can be rubbish.

Original poster
JojobaFromOctober · 07/12/2021 19:54

It is something that I think he will really love. His birthday is just before Christmas and I was going to give him something minor to unwrap, make him a cake, special dinner etc. But there would be a huge imbalance between the two presents so it would basically be a combined present.

OP posts:
Paranoidandroidmarvin · 07/12/2021 19:56

My sons bday is on Christmas Eve. When he was little I always made sure he had separate presents. Now he will be 18 this year. And he has told me he doesn’t mind a joint present depending what it is. If In his mind it is worth it he will have them joint.

But he says he still prefers Seperate.

thisplaceisweird · 07/12/2021 19:56

Why don't you ask him what he prefers:

  1. one really special thing and one token
  2. one gift for each

You don't have to be specific

DappyApple · 07/12/2021 19:59

Mine is not long after Christmas, Dh has twice in the past got a joint present but this was (on both occasions) a car, so a lot more than he’d usually spend!
Ordinarily I wouldn’t be that lucky so I I always get separate presents. Can’t ever remember being given joint presents at all growing up or as an adult. But do remember getting birthday presents wrapped in Christmas paper as kid…which I thought was cool!

We have quite a few December birthdays within the family and would sometimes do joint (with prior agreement) to increase the budget for something decent. Rather than two smaller presents.

Impatientwino · 07/12/2021 20:01

My birthday is right before Christmas. I would much much rather have the bigger gift for my birthday and then a token at Christmas!

Laska2Meryls · 07/12/2021 20:10

Mine is just before Christmas too.. it is annoying that you cant go out for a 'birthday meal' without christmas hats and jollity and no-one wants to go out in January..

Gifts : its nice to get two like anyone else would so a birthday feels at least a bit special , but they dont have to be anything big expensive or major.. but Please do try and source a nice birthday card early .. ( my birthday is always the same day so you could think of it a few months before an get me a decent card....) ,.. Christmas cards with Happy Birthday written in are just the sad 'oh I just remembered this'll do ' option..

I always felt a bit sad when I was a child because of that .. no special party .. joint gift in Christmas paper .. but hey ho ..

PurpleBerryDancer · 07/12/2021 20:12

9 days before Xmas. Much rather have separate presents but would be happy with a joint present it's something I'd really really want. But the bigger present needs to be for birthday and the token for Xmas.

Eg. a new mobile phone for my birthday and a small crafting kit for Xmas

Laska2Meryls · 07/12/2021 20:12

... and my brother's is just after Christmas.. I think our parents were after saving money !! Grin

JingleJingleAllTheWay · 07/12/2021 20:14

My birthday is Christmas day and I've never had a joint birthday present. Like someone pointed out up above, if the birthday was in June, that person would get two presents.

I have received Christmas cards with Happy birthday in it, which is just lazy and rude. Hahah.

EssexLioness · 07/12/2021 21:57

Just seen your update @JojobaFromOctober and I think that is absolutely fine. You are still marking his birthday in a special meaningful way.

LemonSwan · 07/12/2021 22:04

I think its fine, its a great opporunity to get something really good rather than a bunch of OK presents.

I would give the big one for bday though; then you can explain its a big present and smaller for xmas. Rather than being disappointed on the bday and spending a few days thinking you didnt really bother.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 07/12/2021 22:05

My birthday is New Year's Eve and it's different as an adult I feel
I think your idea is lovely
A big gift to cover both occasions plus small gift and a celebration for his birthday too Sounds perfect to me.

SenecaFallsRedux · 07/12/2021 22:20

I always had separate presents as a child, and that has continued as an adult. But sometimes I really like having a combined present if it's something bigger than ordinary.

I think your idea is lovely, OP. DH did something similar when he bought me an expensive handbag I had been lusting after one year. It's stood the test of time and is still my favorite bag.

Rizzoli123 · 07/12/2021 22:24

A good friend has a birthday on the 28th so I spend a little more on his Christmas present. I send him a birthday card.

I get seperate for my dad whose birthday is the 5th of Jan

TroysMammy · 07/12/2021 22:24

My DP is Christmas Eve and because my Birthday is in January we have a joint limit for Birthday and Christmas. However he does insist that his Birthday present(s) are wrapped in Birthday paper.

GoGoGretaDoll · 07/12/2021 22:27

I think it's fine if it's not something that you do every year and it's clear the 'big' present is really special. However, I'd give the big present for whatever the first date was - his birthday in this case, rather than Christmas - because it's easier to explain 'I'm just getting you a token' when you've had something really stonking.

And don't make a habit of it, though to be honest for me (post-Christmas birthday when everyone's feeling shit, fat, knackered and skint) its more about celebrating than presents. No-one ever wants to go out to play!

GoGoGretaDoll · 07/12/2021 22:27

@TroysMammy

My DP is Christmas Eve and because my Birthday is in January we have a joint limit for Birthday and Christmas. However he does insist that his Birthday present(s) are wrapped in Birthday paper.
And quite right too. We're not animals! Grin
Swipe left for the next trending thread