Anyone else have a family that don't eat 'tea' together?

[Pileonsally]

Our friends think we are strange but we are a family of 4 and only eat tea together on Sundays.
The rest of the week everyone makes their own tea. If 2 people want the same thing they have it together. Otherwise everyone fends for themselves.
Kids are teenagers now so fine but when they were younger either me or DH made them what they wanted..or sometimes the same thing, sometimes not.

When I chat to my friends there seems to be an awful lot of 'tea tension in houses. Who makes tea, who thinks of tea, who shops for tea, what time we hsve tea..it seems trivial but endless.

We have zero rows or arguments about tea in our house and never have.

Surely we can't be only house who doesn't have tea together?

Before anyone says it..we are close family, lots of laughs together, we spend time together in other ways. Both kids have said they like the fact that they not tied to a 'teatime'

@MrsPear

Lord how depressing this thread is - share food and talk. Seriously it’s not just fuel. Plus I don’t like to eat ultra processed nor feed my children that kind of crap. Plus I don’t understand this middle class cliche of I’m so busy. Manage your time better.

Hmmm ‘manage your time better’. Not really possible. We both work full time. dH works shifts. Kids have sports 3 nights a week ( different times). I go to the gym one evening. Also DH does 5:2.

Not really a case of managing our time better. We eat together at weekends. During the week, yes food is fuel mainly, we have other things to do.

I am not convinced that the big family sit down evening meal isn’t a bit of a construct. When I was a kid I ate with my sister when I came back from school and Dad worked shifts so ate whenever it was possible.

Neither dp nor I ate like this as children but it is how we eat now. We family serve everything to the table and we each take what we want to our plates. It's really easy to add a little bowl of prawns if somebody doesn't like lamb for eg. Left over get put in tupperware afterwards for adults dinner at work the next day. I purposely cook extra each evening for this reason. No thinking required. Visitors tend to like this style as they can take what they want. Can't fathom different meals for all. I'd never see my kids

We never really eat together apart from meals out. The teens make their own food and me and DH eat together (different meals as he is fussy). A couple of times a week the kids want what I am having so I make more. We talk a lot across the evening so it doesn't bother me that we don't sit down and eat together.

Wow reading back over this thread I'm amazed how judgemental people can be over how others live their lives! Isn't Mumsnet a wonderful place...

@Titsywoo

Wow reading back over this thread I'm amazed how judgemental people can be over how others live their lives! Isn't Mumsnet a wonderful place...

This

Op

I’m interested to know what your kids, in fact you all, eat in your separate meals. I know if my kids were left to their own devices they wouldn’t eat very many vegetables! So us eating together means their diets are better than they otherwise would be, plus they see DH and I enjoying healthy food.

My sister went to stay with an American friend and her family once, and they all ate separately. The mum and the littlest ate together but everyone else just took processed crap from the freezer, microwaved it then disappeared to their own rooms / in front of the TV to eat it.

You are quite unusual. It is the norm in the uk, partly out of necessity. 2 Parents come home from work and need to feed 2 school kids. Even if you work shifts you still need to eat.

Plus the social side, to sit and talk about our days.

Plus the cost and the faff of cooking, and the washing up of 4 separate meals. Mums who have to do this because of very fussy eaters only do it out of necessity.

How fussy are you and your kids? Why haven't you addressed that before?

I think You have odd / unusual views on it. Who are all these people that row about it, we never have and I know no one who rows.

We all eat the same because we all like the same. I can think of 20-30 meals we all like: roast, curry, chilli, fajitas, spag Bol, spaghetti and meatballs, jacket potatoes, steak and salad, steak pie with 3 steamed veg, fish and chips, chickpea curry, chicken kebabs, paella, shepherds pie, lasagne, beef casserole, sausages and mash.

My daughter is still young, and both me and DP work regular hours so we always have dinner together. I never got that as a child so it was important for me for us to have family meals. When my daughter is older and going out with friends, after school clubs etc it may have to change but I would like us to have family meals where possible. We discuss what we'll have for dinner never had any arguments about it. Saying all this though, other people's opinions don't really matter, if it works for you and yours, then it works

We generally only do on a Saturday. I usually do the kids tea around 5pm and then will either eat mine later with my husband or separately once the kids are in bed if he's home too late. Saturday is his only day off so we're all at home at the same time.

We all eat the same because we all like the same. I can think of 20-30 meals we all like: roast, curry, chilli, fajitas, spag Bol, spaghetti and meatballs, jacket potatoes, steak and salad, steak pie with 3 steamed veg, fish and chips, chickpea curry, chicken kebabs, paella, shepherds pie, lasagne, beef casserole, sausages and mash

But that's quite a repetitive, unadventurous and meat heavy way of eating.

Many of us don't want to eat like that and I know that you can make vegetarian, fish or low meat versions of a lot of that, but then you have objections from the 'where's the meat' crowd, which is how we get to eating different things.

Why are you picking apart my list Barbara. I was just giving an example. We eat loads of meat free, vegetarian meals aswell. It was just a list. Not complete.

But now you've come to mention it, how did you stop your meals being repetitive?

How many meals are on your list?
How do they not become repetitive?

"unadventurous"

But that's quite a repetitive, unadventurous and meat heavy way of eating.

Repetitive from the person who only cooks 2-3 times then eats the leftovers the rest of the time

Thank you mafted.

we do eat loads of other things. I just didn't list them. Bok Choi and tenderstem broccoli with ginger garlic and soy. Home made vegetarian quiche and salad. Roasted pumpkin with cumin and whole coriander seeds. Home made Vegetable stir fry.

Sorry our diet doesn't meet your criteria Barbara.

We waste minimal food. I batch cook a lot and any meal leftovers (rarely, and minimal) are dished up and eaten by me for lunch at work the next day.

Jesus….what’s with all the competition? As long as everyone is happy and fed…can we stop making everything a competition or a stealth boast? People have different lives.

Plus my 3 closest friends are vegan so I do eat a lot of home made vegan too.

DH and I pretty much never eat together due to our work patterns and dietary preferences. It's fine and hasn't led to our marriage imploding just yet

@Pileonsally

Our friends think we are strange but we are a family of 4 and only eat tea together on Sundays. The rest of the week everyone makes their own tea. If 2 people want the same thing they have it together. Otherwise everyone fends for themselves. Kids are teenagers now so fine but when they were younger either me or DH made them what they wanted..or sometimes the same thing, sometimes not.

When I chat to my friends there seems to be an awful lot of 'tea tension in houses. Who makes tea, who thinks of tea, who shops for tea, what time we hsve tea..it seems trivial but endless.

We have zero rows or arguments about tea in our house and never have.

Surely we can't be only house who doesn't have tea together?

Before anyone says it..we are close family, lots of laughs together, we spend time together in other ways. Both kids have said they like the fact that they not tied to a 'teatime'

Sounds very chaotic and you are making up other people having rows to justify it. No rows in our house, a meal is cooked and you can take or leave it ! When Ds was working or out in the evenings I left him a portion to heat up or he would mention he wouldnt be needing dinner. never tea

What did the four of you eat this evening?
Tell us how the shopping, budgeting and stock control work.
Thanks

I’m interested to know what your kids, in fact you all, eat in your separate meals. I know if my kids were left to their own devices they wouldn’t eat very many vegetables! So us eating together means their diets are better than they otherwise would be, plus they see DH and I enjoying healthy food.

This, and not just the dc in truth. It is quite a faff to cook a range of things for one.