Anyone else have a family that don't eat 'tea' together?

[Pileonsally]

Our friends think we are strange but we are a family of 4 and only eat tea together on Sundays.
The rest of the week everyone makes their own tea. If 2 people want the same thing they have it together. Otherwise everyone fends for themselves.
Kids are teenagers now so fine but when they were younger either me or DH made them what they wanted..or sometimes the same thing, sometimes not.

When I chat to my friends there seems to be an awful lot of 'tea tension in houses. Who makes tea, who thinks of tea, who shops for tea, what time we hsve tea..it seems trivial but endless.

We have zero rows or arguments about tea in our house and never have.

Surely we can't be only house who doesn't have tea together?

Before anyone says it..we are close family, lots of laughs together, we spend time together in other ways. Both kids have said they like the fact that they not tied to a 'teatime'

We eat the same thing, but we don’t eat together Monday to Thursday as it would be too late for my son to eat if we waited until my husband got home. So me and my son eat at 5:30 and my husband just heats it up when he gets home. We do eat together on a Friday and at the weekend.

We don't eat together. My kids are younger so they together at 5.30. We're not even finished working at that time.

DH and I then typically make our own dinners when we're done with work.

At weekends the kids, again, eat earlier although we'll often have lunch earlier and on a Sunday have a roast sometimes which we'd eat around 6 all together. DH and always eat together Friday, Saturday and Sunday and take it in turns to cook.

I'm always amazed at grown adults eating dinner at 5pm! I also think it's only really an option if you have a SAHP in the house.

We are a family of 4, Ds 19 & 13 . We eat together every night. It's a time we all get together and discuss our day and laugh together. I love this time . It also teachers the boys about meal prep as they are normally mooching about wanting to know what's for dinner and sometimes helping ( very rarely ) . We've eaten like this since they were babies and is our normal

No, we're really not reliant on ready meals, nor are we tripping over each other in the kitchen, there will usually be one person cooking, another at the table etc. I can imagine a scenario where someone has time to cook lasagnes etc routinely on a weeknight, its strange that some on here can't imagine that things work differently for other families.

But what's the alternative? Because in a lot of cases it's the woman in the household taking on all the mental load of trying to come up with meals that everyone will eat, or cooking several different meals and half the time, eating what everyone else wants, and never getting what she actually wants to eat herself.

It would be nice if everyone did their share of cooking, and everyone agreed to eat the same meal, but there's plenty of households where that's never going to be the case, so why blame the OP for doing what works for them for a change?

It must cost you a fortune in food, particularly with how much prices have gone up. Plus water waste in washing up.

Do you find that you have a lot of food waste if someone changes their mind?

We grew up all eating together/the same thing? Obviously not every meal was a favourite, but meant that we learnt that we just couldn’t get our own way every day. Also none of us are fussy eaters - we eat everything.

We’re bringing baby DS up the same way. He can leave what he doesn’t like, but we don’t cook separate for him.

We eat all together 3/4 nights a week. I always intend to do it every day but it doesn't work out that way as there's so much to do (usually cos I'm working, DH is working and the kids are hungry before either of us are able to cook dinner)

As a kid we would eat together every day. I don't know how my mum did it!

When we don't eat together either the kids make their own (which means sandwiches or super noodles) or it's an easy oven tea which I can shove in while I'm working. The kids can choose where they eat - my teenagers eat in their bedrooms but my youngest will sit at the table.

I love meal time altogether but I don't know how on earth I could make it happen every single day. The kids are happy with oven crap a few days a week, no way am I eating nuggets and chips so they eat first then DH or I cook a proper meal.once we have finished work. Sometimes we don't eat til 7.30/8 - far too late for the kids.

Those eating altogether every day, what time do you have dinner? And how do you manage it?! Tips please 😁😂

@starrynight21
That's terrible.
There must be a generation of us who weee like this.
We only had the 'occasional' sit there till you eat it 'crap' But even once was enough.
My kids it was if you don't like it it's fine - leave it (kiss kiss I love you )
None have hang ups about food.
When they were little and we had all 4 every other weekend it was like a chimps tea party - so they sat at the table and me abs dh sat on the sofa. Watching tv

The only time we ate together was Christmas.
We have 3 lads and lass. All with big appetites so there was never a morsel left.
Their tables manners were fine.
Once they had left home and only the youngest was left he'd either eat at the table or take his dinner up to his room.
Much more civilised
Plenty of other ways to bond.

We always eat tea together with teen DCs. I cook, they clear up, no fuss, no fussiness. We usually have a bit of a laugh and banter, the evening news on in the background and we talk about topics of the day. Wouldn't want it any other way

We mostly eat at the same time but not around a table we eat on trays, our house is too small to have a large dining room table out all the time.
We love it its cosy and no one except me really chats in our family so I was finding it stressful eating in silence.

We rarely eat the same thing - husband has troubleshooting swallowing after radiotherapy so eats only certain things; son is autistic and only eats certain things; I'm a pig who will eat almost anything but are often bedbound with chronic illnesses. sometimes we all eat together but not often. it's not an issue as we don't make it one

We all eat together mostly, there’s the odd night when someone has to eat earlier:later due to commitments.
We eat 6-7pm mainly. On the nights me and DH are both out at work we either have something quick to cook or the teenagers (13 and 14) will cook. dad especially loves to cook so often says can I cook ‘x’ this week. She’s veggie but she will also cook a meat version for everyone else. I think that’s taught them to think of other peoples needs by cooking for everyone rather than creating a every man for themselves mentality. Means on the days I’m rushed for time I come home to a meal nearly ready, other days when DH is WFH he doesn’t have a commute so gets tea started and on my days I finish early I have time to sort tea out.
I don’t think it has to all or nothing as modern family
Life with activities and long commutes means that it’s not always possibly to sit down at 6pm to eat together but if you are in the house then yes, you are expected to sit down at the table.

I don't think that's unusual at all - we rarely all eat dinner together (evening meal) in the week. (2 late teens, me and DH). They often have clubs, friends to meet, stuff to do. We either get our own, of cook for one another but it's a fluid arrangement.

We're the same although I will cook the same meal but with work and clubs our weeks are busy and meal times are functions all.

There is only one night that there isn't boxing football or rugby or I am often away with work at least 1 night.

We do have Sunday lunch together though and I enjoy that.

We always ate together as a family
It wasn't always easy but I am very glad we stuck at it as long term it was great

Same here. We rarely eat all together as DH mostly doesn't get home til at least 8. Kids (12 and 15 normally have the same and eat together - I cook for them) and either I eat the same with them or eat later with DH. DD is very fussy and would eat freezer/beige food all week given half the chance but DH won't eat that sort of thing at all so there's often more than one meal being prepared.

@Pileonsally

Yes it is inefficient but I feel same about people who eat together. Other than roast dinner i genuinely can't think of another meal that all 4 of us like! I have no idea how people do it. My friends say well you just eat stuff you not keen on and suck it up. I dont want to eat stuff I don't like so wouldn't make my kids eat stuff they dont like. Trying to think of and make a tea every single night would tip me over! No wonder people row about it

Shepherds pie? Sausages and mash? Chilli? Jacket potatoes? Lasagne? Pasta? Curries? Stir fries? Vegetarian versions of all those? You must must a very fussy family We eat together as a family, I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old and I'll be damned if either me or DH are cooking more than once an evening! And usually whatever we make one evening will have enough leftovers for the next day too.

My childhood meals were as you describe op. I've chosen not to go that way with my own family. I think it's important for us to all sit down together.

I'm with @BrieAndChilli - mealtimes are lovely for us, and important for a whole lot of reasons.

We never argue about food either. But each to their own.

Sometimes we don't actually eat together if the kids have activities etc. but I do cook the same meal for everyone (we're all omnivores and two of us are gluten-free but it's no hassle to cook a single dinner that we can all eat). If someone's late in, they can pop it in the microwave to reheat or I leave it in the slow cooker for them to serve themselves etc.

We don't usually.
I have to cook 3 different meals that aren't ready at rather same time. DS needs massive hearty meals, DD is seriously fussy would live off chicken teddies- and I need small amounts of healthy veggie gluten free food.
DD also has meltdowns so eats on her own in front of the TV. Me and DS sometimes eat together but it depends on cooking times.

When my daughter was growing up we always had dinner together, and when she’s home now we still do it, but we have plenty of meals we all like. For me, family dinners was important.

What can you cook individual portions of that's not either frozen, packet or wasteful? I'm curious to know what the 4 different meals are.
OP tell us what a typical evening looks like, food wise.

We all eat together. The kids eat what we eat at around 7pm every night. They are 9 & almost 11. We've never rowed about food.

We never do. Nobody is ever in at the same time. DD1 makes her own after work, DD2 goes to her boyfriends for dinner every day, DH either makes his own when he comes in or heats up what I've made.
I don't even have a dining room table

@MeredithGreyishblue

What can you cook individual portions of that's not either frozen, packet or wasteful? I'm curious to know what the 4 different meals are. OP tell us what a typical evening looks like, food wise.

We all eat together. The kids eat what we eat at around 7pm every night. They are 9 & almost 11. We've never rowed about food.

So if I make something like a lasagne, curry, chilli etc I always make extra and freeze a portion or two. So like today with the gammon DD1 will have a look through the freezer and see what she fancies and heat up a portion. Same as if I was cooking a curry DD2 won't eat anything spicy so she will get a portion of bolognaise or lasagne out. It works really well for us.