Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

What time would you let your 15 year old stay at a house party until?

49 replies

BuddlesOfMine · 04/12/2021 17:40

DS is going to a house party tonight. He’s always struggled with friendships so I’m really pleased he’s being included. It’s the 2nd one he’s been to but this time he’s pushing for a significantly later finish time. He says 1am but I’m not comfortable with so late. What do you all think? Hate them growing up and having to make these difficult decisions-either way I know I won’t sleep until he’s home in his own bed!

OP posts:
Dozer · 04/12/2021 17:43

1am is too late IMO!

Hellocatshome · 04/12/2021 17:44

I dont think the time matters that much, if he's going to drink, take drugs, have sex (or whatever concerns you have) he will do it wether you pick him up at 11pm or 1am.

OnlyYellowRoses · 04/12/2021 17:46

It's a Saturday night so I wouldn't have a curfew but that's just me personally. Mine if he wanted a lift from me would have to leave around midnight as I can never stay up later than that Grin

Original poster
BuddlesOfMine · 04/12/2021 17:46

Thanks both. As mentioned I agree 1am is too late. I don’t have any concerns of him doing any of those things-he’s a sensible lad and so are the others. Any indication of what time you’d all allow your similar ages children out until at the weekend?

OP posts:
Remoanercorona · 04/12/2021 17:47

I’d say 11 but would be willing to negotiate up to midnight

StrychnineInTheSandwiches · 04/12/2021 17:48

I'd probably tell him I'd pick him up at 11/11.30. I wouldn't embarrass him by knocking at the door of course.

Original poster
BuddlesOfMine · 04/12/2021 17:48

Thanks Roses. Yes I’m thinking around midnight but he’s not looking happy with that! Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
BuddlesOfMine · 04/12/2021 17:50

Thanks both. Sounds like my suggestion of midnight is more than reasonable then!

OP posts:
CarButtonCloth · 04/12/2021 17:50

Maybe 11/11.30 but I think it makes a difference how he's getting home eg if another parent is collecting or he's getting a taxi with friends there may need to be some flexibility

SpindlesWinterWhorl · 04/12/2021 17:51

Do you know the family at all?

I remember being that age. (I'm ancient now.) I remember my two DC being that age. It's a very tricky negotiation but midnight(ish) was always fairly usual.

YuleHaveAWonderfulChristmas · 04/12/2021 17:51

He is safe inside a house. I'd pick him up at 1am.

Chr1stmasCarole · 04/12/2021 17:51

Midnight sounds like a good compromise.
I'd have to pick him up though at that time.
Park around the corner and text him though Grin

GrandmasCat · 04/12/2021 17:53

At that age, I did allow DS to stay until 1 am as long as he allowed me to pick him up.

Naturally, he complained I was bonkers and no other parent did that… ever. So only agreed to it a couple of times, the rest of the times he was back at 12 if he was cycling back.

PurBal · 04/12/2021 17:54

I was going to say 1am…

PinkPlantCase · 04/12/2021 17:56

I had a friend growing up that was always collected at midnight from parties. Their parents had a theory that nothing good ever happened after midnight.

I can confirm that nothing ‘good’ ever happened after midnight 🤣

Thinking of having a similar rule with my kids

OhMyCrump · 04/12/2021 17:57

I haven't had this situation yet, sorry for piggy backing on your thread OP, but interested in opinions. I don't drive so in this kind of situation instead of picking up, is it safe/the done thing to sort them a taxi home?

BarefootHippieChick · 04/12/2021 17:59

At that age latest is 11/11.30 for me as after that I'm in bed!

AhNowTed · 04/12/2021 18:06

He's struggled with friendships, is finally being invited ... just let him go.

He's 15 and 1am is hardly shocking.

Why on earth you're making a big deal about this I have no idea.

MrsLarry · 04/12/2021 18:06

Having had a, sensible, trustworthy and mature, 15 year old I'd be inclined to go with the 1am as a one off.

Original poster
BuddlesOfMine · 04/12/2021 18:09

@AhNowTed
Thanks. I’m not making a big deal at all! Grin I’m asking opinions because I’ve never had a 15 year old before and will make a decision based on the opinions given

OP posts:
Allywill · 04/12/2021 18:12

I would have probably said midnight so I could be home and in bed by one. In practice my daughter wouldn’t have come out until at least 1230 and then be followed by at least 3 friends who I,d be asked to give a lift to. I’d be driving all over the place dropping people off and be lucky to be home for 2. In reality does it make a massive difference 12 or 1? You could split the difference and say 1230, but honestly he wont be in the car until 1245 I guarantee it so you might as well have said 1.

MrsLarry · 04/12/2021 18:13

My view is you get what you give. If you give them a little trust then you'll get a little more respect back. If you start laying downtye law too much then you'll only get resentment. 1am as a one off isn't really that late.

NameChange776543 · 04/12/2021 18:15

My parents always got me around 1.30am. The parties often went on until gone 5, they’d barely started by 11!

Original poster
BuddlesOfMine · 04/12/2021 18:17

Thanks all. We’ve had a good chat and we’ll be collecting him at 1 on the agreement that if he’s out on time and doesn’t do anything stupid Grin he’ll be able to do the same in future. He’s a good lad and although I don’t know the family, I do know the boy and all the others attending and am happy they’re a decent bunch.

OP posts:
Donotgogentle · 04/12/2021 18:21

Hope he has a great time op.

Swipe left for the next trending thread