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Is it cheating or harmless fun?

61 replies

Yololollipop · 03/12/2021 23:32

Is it cheating if at a work team party, you are sitting next to a hot college, leaning onto them, brushing against them, put your arm around them, and steal 1 kiss? (Bearing in mind youve had a bit to drink). Or is it harmless fun?

OP posts:
Lou98 · 04/12/2021 00:03

Would you tell your partner about it? If not - there's your answer

WorraLiberty · 04/12/2021 00:06

@Yololollipop

Ah yes. Just explaining that im not sober atm. Which is why i probabky didnt post ymthe way you suggested. I.e. for support.
And yet up until this post, your spelling was quite impeccable.
DinosaurOfFire · 04/12/2021 00:06

@Yololollipop

I hate my life. Its easy for other to judge. You dont know what its line growing up with 2st generation immigrant parents who control and coerce every aspect of your life... including your studies, job and who you will marry. What I would give for the freedom that my friends at school or work had.
I'm sorry that this happened to you in regards to the marriage/ plans laid out on your behalf.

You will find support on here if you decide you want to leave, or if you don't. But by even asking the question, you know. You know that its not acceptable behaviour whether it's cheating or not. You know you are hoping for a loophole that means that you can push the boundaries where you can. But... The loophole doesn't exist. It just leads to more sadness. And honestly, you sound unhappy. There are things you can do to change your life, there are also consequences to those changes. It is done now (assuming you are posting after the event/ cheek kiss). And now you have some thinking to do. If only because you know someone will have seen if it is a works do, no matter how unofficial a do it is.

Assuming you live in the UK, you do have the freedom to make choices about where your future goes and what direction you go in next, with work, with your relationship with your husband, with your colleague. I do understand, I lost touch with one of my closest uni friends for the reasons you mentioned. I think about her often and hope she is happy, although her descriptions of the path laid out for her were so at odds with what she would have chosen for herself if she had the chance.

I wish you well, and suggest that maybe if you have had a few drinks and are blurring boundaries it might be a good idea to stop now and take a breather, and in the morning/ over the next few days take stock of where you are and think about what you would like to do, for you.

NeedsCharging · 04/12/2021 00:08

They you go again stating the obvious Worral Grin

WorraLiberty · 04/12/2021 00:10

@NeedsCharging

They you go again stating the obvious Worral Grin
It's a bad habit of mine 🤣🤣
DontBeCatty · 04/12/2021 00:10

It’s not harmless fun. It’s stupid, embarrassing and selfish. I’m sorry about your home life but deal with that properly without flirting with people from work

Youngatheart00 · 04/12/2021 00:10

This is what Christmas parties are all about!

Maybe it’s awakened something within you.

You are never trapped….but do think about how you want to treat people

KurtWildesChristmasNamechange · 04/12/2021 00:11

@DontBeCatty

It’s not harmless fun. It’s stupid, embarrassing and selfish. I’m sorry about your home life but deal with that properly without flirting with people from work
Agree.
Chloemol · 04/12/2021 00:13

It’s cheating. How would you feel if your partner carried on in the same way

dustandfluf · 04/12/2021 00:32

@Yololollipop

I hate my life. Its easy for other to judge. You dont know what its line growing up with 2st generation immigrant parents who control and coerce every aspect of your life... including your studies, job and who you will marry. What I would give for the freedom that my friends at school or work had.
There's plenty of people on MN from the same background as you OP.
OhWhyNot · 04/12/2021 00:32

These things happen

Sometimes they mean nothing (but can be very hurtful to others)

Other times they mean so much more

I think you fall into the latter. You can’t shrug off that you are wanting a different life

Don’t beat yourself. Your life should be your own to make your choices good or bad

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