Page 2 | Is it cheating or harmless fun?

Yololollipop · 2021-12-03T23:32:17+00:00

Is it cheating if at a work team party, you are sitting next to a hot college, leaning onto them, brushing against them, put your arm around them, and steal 1 kiss? (Bearing in mind youve had a bit to drink). Or is it harmless fun?

NeedsCharging · 03/12/2021 23:50

Yolo

Your background doesn't change or justify what you have done.
I am sorry you were forced to enter in to a marriage and still feel trapped but having an affair/cheating is not the answer especially if you are already bound by strict rules and religion.

This is not the answer.

lilmishap · 03/12/2021 23:51

My understanding of arranged marriages is that you are both pushed into it.
Do you think he wanted a wife who does this?
Would you want a husband who does this?

Original poster

Yololollipop · 03/12/2021 23:51

I hate my life. Its easy for other to judge. You dont know what its line growing up with 2st generation immigrant parents who control and coerce every aspect of your life... including your studies, job and who you will marry. What I would give for the freedom that my friends at school or work had.

OP posts:

lilmishap · 03/12/2021 23:52

Why post if you're convinced it's fine?

Original poster

Yololollipop · 03/12/2021 23:52

like 1st generation

OP posts:

Luredbyapomegranate · 03/12/2021 23:52

It’s cheating, albeit at the mild end.

RobertSmithsLipstick · 03/12/2021 23:52

How would you feel if your husband behaved that way?
If you'd feel disrespected and angry, then don't do it to him.
If not, then it's probably not worth continuing your marriage, particularly in light of the fact that you were pushed into it.

PurpleDaisies · 03/12/2021 23:53

@Yololollipop

I hate my life. Its easy for other to judge. You dont know what its line growing up with 2st generation immigrant parents who control and coerce every aspect of your life... including your studies, job and who you will marry. What I would give for the freedom that my friends at school or work had.

Why not post for support with escaping that, rather than validation that kissing your “hot colleague” is fine?

KurtWildesChristmasNamechange · 03/12/2021 23:54

Nope, sorry. Your arranged marriage doesn't justify it. And it certainly won't go down too well with your husband if he finds out.

Luredbyapomegranate · 03/12/2021 23:54

What’s stopping you leaving? I realise your parents would be pissed off and possibly cut you off, but that’s better than a life you hate, surely?

Original poster

Yololollipop · 03/12/2021 23:54

@lilmishap

Why post if you're convinced it's fine?

Looking for sympathy or understanding I guess....

Its depressing that since i was a child to adult, ive been in a no win situation. There is no reasoning with religious immigrant parents. Its their way or the highway/disowned. Idk...i guess life is just a *"""

OP posts:

Original poster

Yololollipop · 03/12/2021 23:54

@PurpleDaisies

Not sober atm

OP posts:

lilmishap · 03/12/2021 23:55

Harmless fun is harmless. Doing something that hurts someone else is the opposite of that.

If you want out of your life, then thats the problem right now.
Wanting out of your life with a reputation as a cheating wife is something totally different

PurpleDaisies · 03/12/2021 23:55

[quote Yololollipop]@PurpleDaisies

Not sober atm[/quote]
What? Did you mean to tag me?

shuetust · 03/12/2021 23:57

Really

Original poster

Yololollipop · 03/12/2021 23:57

Ah yes. Just explaining that im not sober atm. Which is why i probabky didnt post ymthe way you suggested. I.e. for support.

OP posts:

KurtWildesChristmasNamechange · 03/12/2021 23:57

@Yololollipop

I hate my life. Its easy for other to judge. You dont know what its line growing up with 2st generation immigrant parents who control and coerce every aspect of your life... including your studies, job and who you will marry. What I would give for the freedom that my friends at school or work had.

With respect, you don't know who any of us are or what we've dealt with in life. I'm sorry you hate your life, but some of us understand more than you realise.

IncompleteSenten · 03/12/2021 23:57

Would you do it if your partner was sitting right next to you?
If you wouldn't then yes it's cheating.

If you're in doubt, ask your partner if they think flirting, being touchy feely and kissing another person is appropriate behaviour.

NeedsCharging · 03/12/2021 23:58

OP

I have a ton of sympathy for the situation you are in of which you have no control over. However you have chosen to flirt/kiss/cheat. That has been your choice.
You getting caught cheating would bring a worse shame than you divorcing.

KurtWildesChristmasNamechange · 03/12/2021 23:59

You getting caught cheating would bring a worse shame than you divorcing.

This.

lilmishap · 03/12/2021 23:59

In answer to the original question no it isn't harmless fun, if it's connected to you wanting out of your life than it is even less harmless.

Kissing your colleague won't/can't fix anything for you.
BUT if it's made you reassess the life you are living then look at that honestly and objectively.

IncompleteSenten · 04/12/2021 00:00

So you don't actually want answers giving opinions on the question you asked.
You really wanted to find a way to start a conversation about how you feel trapped in your life and maybe even how you might be able to leave and be in control of your own life?

lilmishap · 04/12/2021 00:01

We all get pissed and post on MN at some point so don't worry bout that

NeedsCharging · 04/12/2021 00:01

Not sober atm

Then I hope you are at home/safe.
Get off here drink some water and go to bed.
When you wake up seek some support if you are trapped in your marriage. I know just leaving is not an option but there is support out there

Luredbyapomegranate · 04/12/2021 00:02

I think when you wake up sober.. you should think about leaving. You only get one life.