How to word a difficult work email/WWYD

[4pmwinetimebebeh]

I currently work at a college teaching practical skills. I’ve been there 4 years and generally enjoy my job. In the past 6 months I’ve taken on a lot of additional responsibilities and roles, offered to me as ‘career progression’ and ‘role development’ with a view to progressing to the next pay grade/promotion. My manager has been very clear about my career path and I’ve done a good job (by all accounts) with the additional tasks.

After 6 months of this carrot I had an interview for the promotion yesterday and the phone call today. I didn’t get it. Someone external has. I don’t want to be petty but I am absolutely gutted and I feed a fool. The job description of the job I didn’t get is what I’m doing now. I was told I’m a highly respected and valued employee and assured they are going to apply to regrade my role to the higher one anyway within a couple of months. If that’s the case why didn’t I get the job? And also why have I waited 6 months for this job to come up when they could have regraded it!

I don’t want to sound petty and it’s an interview, of course it should go to the best candidate. But I’ve been assured that this was coming, the whole department expected me to get it and the interview went really well.

I feel so embarrassed and also taken advantage of. I want to email and basically say I’m disappointed and don’t want to continue to work at a higher level than I’m being paid for long term.

I think I would go gently here and ask for interview feedback and say in the e-mail you would appreciate some feedback as you are very disappointed not to get the job given that you have already proven that you would be competent to carry out the role.

Thanks @KitKat1985 that’s a good idea. I did ask when they phoned and they just said the other person had answered better a certain question.

Bet you will be expected to ‘train’ the new employee.

I’m sorry, that’s shit. How disappointing.

Write the email. Say how disappointed you are and how you won’t be doing any more additional duties.

Save it.

Wait until Monday, or even Tuesday- if you still want to send it, do.

Either way, ask for a meeting with your manager and let them know how you feel; in a few days, the sting will have subsided a bit and you’ll be able to set out more clearly what you want and what they need to do to support you.

Good luck, it certainly doesn’t sound like it’s beyond repair.

The proof is in the pudding. Be gracious, help with training. Then stand back and wait. Things can change within the space of a few months.

@Usernamenotavailabletryanother

I’m sorry, that’s shit. How disappointing.

Write the email. Say how disappointed you are and how you won’t be doing any more additional duties.

Save it.

Wait until Monday, or even Tuesday- if you still want to send it, do.

Either way, ask for a meeting with your manager and let them know how you feel; in a few days, the sting will have subsided a bit and you’ll be able to set out more clearly what you want and what they need to do to support you.

Good luck, it certainly doesn’t sound like it’s beyond repair.

What she said. I am sorry, OP.

Don't send that email. I understand you want to. Write it if it will help, but don't send it.

Ask for a meeting and have a conversation about how disappointed you are and what your future in the organisation might be, but don't do it by email.

If you got that other job then they’d need to interview to backfill your post. More work for them.

This way they don’t have any extra work, and get you doing the job for free.

Is there somewhere that evaluates/scores the value of your current job to see if it’s properly graded? Is that what they are saying will do “in a couple of months”? Why not now? What will be different in a couple of months?

Id ask if that could that be done now? If it’s valued at the higher grade then you should either get it or have responsibilities taken away from you, in which case you’re not worse off than you were before?

If they have a good reason for delaying and you can trust that they will do what they say in a couple of months more quickly I think I’d stick it out.

If not I think I might say thanks for the opportunity to gain experience however now I have that experience and since I was unsuccessful at interview I don’t see the point in continuing doing extra work at the higher grade without fair remuneration. And see what they say.

If they asked me to train her up while at in a lower grade I’d tell them if I’m not good enough to get the job I’m clearly not good enough to train someone else to do said job.

Thanks all. I’m not hugely confident and the thought of having a conversation with my manager just fills me with dread. I don’t want to sound like a brat saying I was entitled to the job- it’s not that. It’s just hurtful that I’m doing the job but not good enough for the promotion but will be expected to carry on doing it anyway.

I expect the recruitment is 'fair and transparent' so will have been competency based and purely assessed on the interview. So the other candidate could have interviewed better than you did and the hiring manager realty does need to offer them the job.

I'd be asking the hiring manager why it was advertised externally when you were already doing the role for 6 months ( did you have that as a formal 'acting' role). And details of precession policies.

Check if your organisation has an 'also suitable' outcome of recruitment. Mine does, which can mean that if the successful candidate doesn't pass probation then you can be offered the role without another recruitment process.

@Elieza that’s what DP says. They don’t have to interview again and if what they say is true they’ll have two of us at a senior level (which is needed as we are v short staffed). It just feels like a horrible back handed second best offer and I feel shit.

I agree don't send the email. You can have a calm conversation but sometimes these things do happen. I'm sorry this happened to you.

You’ve only been doing the extra work for six months so don’t be too hard on yourself.

That said, it sounds like this role was yours for the taking and you were bested by an external person who knows nothing about your company but still managed to perform better at interview.

On that basis, I’d highly recommend asking for interview feedback and seeing what you can improve upon.

Don’t go in with all guns blazing until you’ve done that.

From your manager’s perspective, I bet she’s disappointed that you didn’t do well at interview so an email throwing your toys out of the pram might not be the best idea.

Gosh op
Don't be hurt.

What I've learned working in education:
It is all about money

The individual really really doesn't matter. They WILL pile more and more work on you, for the lowest wage until you crack.

Was the wage advertised, or was it 'competitive'

@spotcheck the wage was advertised.

Thanks all. It’s so hard not take personally. I do understand that @SmallBoyFury I definitely will ask for detailed feedback. It felt to go well though and I like to think I’m not oblivious and would realise if I missed loads of important stuff!

I've been through this too. (To the point another colleague really kicked up over why I didn't get the job!)
What I've learnt is that this is almost always a 'put up' job. They've already got someone else in mind, and you are the sacrificial lamb IYSWIM, just so that they can claim transparency.
Suck it up, and keep going, doing what you need to do to give yourself a chance to progress, but no more.
Education is a shitty place. You are either prepared to stab people in the back, or go above and beyond what is your role, in order to progress.
You can rise through the ranks quickly (and have no outside life whatsoever), or be there for the hard grind and still do your job for no recognition.
I've chosen the latter, because I have no energy now to do the former. You might have.
Good luck with whatever you choose.

Thanks @mineofuselessinformation Sorry you’ve been through the same.

I would speak to someone face to face rather than via email as it will encourage them to be more honest about why you never got the job. They may not want to put the truth in writing. I would be wary of continuing with additional duties. They're now just dangling another carrot for more free work. I certainly wouldn't be training the new person, I'd say you're not sure you're the best person to do it since your skill level wasn't enough to get you the post. Please be wary of them taking advantage of you- there are too many employers doing this now

I personally would be looking for a role elsewhere if it were me.

My company did something similar by delaying a promotion - I think because they were unable to find someone to fill my current role.

I certainly wouldn’t be doing additional work for a “prize” that may never come to be.

FWIW I have been on the other side of this as a manager. You really can only go on the interview and some people are just better at them than others - I, for one, am not good at all. It is gutting when you see someone not do as well as you know they can. And I think that when you are already doing a job you can sometimes forget to mention things that are pertinent - because it is just part of what you do. I am sorry you are in this situation. As hard as it is, I think you need to discuss this face to face, as you don't want anything you write to be taken out of context.

@4pmwinetimebebeh

Thanks all. I’m not hugely confident and the thought of having a conversation with my manager just fills me with dread. I don’t want to sound like a brat saying I was entitled to the job- it’s not that. It’s just hurtful that I’m doing the job but not good enough for the promotion but will be expected to carry on doing it anyway.

This could be why. If the job is a more senior level, although you might be perfectly competent at the job, maybe the other candidate was more confident and would be better at managing people? That would be my assumption anyway, from a fellow wallflower.

@Wheresmywoolyjumpers and @KitKat1985 both give very good advice.

I've been on both sides of this. You can only go on the interview, and some people do a better job, that's just the way it goes.

Equally I recently didn't get a post, it was temporary cover at the next level up. I did a really good interview. The person who got it was less experienced in the organisation & in terms of the role. My feedback meeting was not helpful - there was nothing I did wrong, I just didn't get it & that was it.

It was deeply upsetting - still is a bit. I felt like it must have been personal - as I know I did well otherwise. Like I wasn't someone they wanted at the next level, even though I've always done well at work.

I had to be upset for a while, and then get on with it, and remind myself that on the day, they chose her. And I had to accept it.

Be very wary of making bold statements while upset. Ask for feedback. Wait & see. Make a decision later with a cooler head.

OP in the kindest possible way have you considered that the other candidate was better and there is nothing against you?

I had to do almost exactly this to someone. We were really hoping the internal candidate would get it but an external performed better. How unfair of us would it have been to rig that?

I was able to re grade the job of the internal a few months later as we had to wait on some complex budget issues to get sorted. Couldn't have done it sooner no matter how much I wanted to.

@Polmuggle I’m sure that the case! I find it hard to articulate as I completely get they were better, you have to be fair in the interview and I obviously didn’t perform as well on the day. I do understand that and don’t begrudge them that.

I just feel upset that I’ve worked far beyond my remit and my pay grade with the promise of promotion and now I haven’t got it I feel utterly taken advantage of. I don’t have confidence they will upgrade my role any time soon and I just want to tell them im not willing to work beyond my scope of practice for no additional recognition or pay long term. It’s just making a fool out of me.

This happened to me. Almost exactly the same. I sent the email. My line manager was furious that I’d expressed my disappointment (she took it very personally) and our relationship never recovered. I ended up seeking a new job pretty sharpish (which ended well). Tread carefully if you want to stay working there.

I’m sorry. It’s truly very shit.