Failed driving test

[Qwertykeys]

Hi all , DS has failed his deriving test three times . He’s a good driver but just can’t do the test. If any of you have experience in multi fails how do I keep his spirits up ? He’s rather glum .

Poor DS .

We're just giving this thread a bump, OP. We're sure other Mumsnetters will be along soon with some advice.

Hi, OP l failed 4 times at passed on my fifth.

He can absolutely 💯 pass. He should speak to his instructor about which areas he is now competent in and which areas still need to be improved on.

A driving is a set amount of time and SO MUCH depends on the day, how your feeling and other factors.

One thing l will say is that for my 4th and 5th test l had my instructor sat in the back. They can't say anything but having them there gave me extra reassurance and confidence.

Also, all 4 my examiners were chatty and number 5 just gave me instructions which definitely helped as l fully focused on that instead of trying to hold a conversation.

I'm much older than your son and I've got test number 4 on Monday. Seeing how my lesson went last week I'll be booking #5 that evening!

No tips, but I know how he feels!

I sat down with my two fail certs, and the highway code, and highlighted everything I was still getting minors for, then I re-read the relevant bits, and watched a load of videos on YouTube, between lessons. Lessons were spent focusing on the things I got serious faults for, and my most common minors (as three of the same minor is a fail).

My biggest issue was the fear, and imposter syndrome, I was so convinced in my last test, that I'd failed, I refused to believe the examiner when she said I'd passed, I kept waiting for her to realise she'd made a mistake. Keep telling him you believe in him, he can do it, it takes as long as it takes etc.

Also, I found watching clips of awful driving (from people who managed to pass the test), on youtube, oddly reassuring...

Thanks all , congratulations to all who stuck with it and passed and good luck to those still trying. He's out with his instructor next week, booked test no4 , what fun that is . His instructor is really good and says he's ready , each time it was one major and 3 minors .

2 paracetamol and a Mars bar before the test. 2 pills to keep temp down if stressed and chocolate bar for an energy boost.
Recommended by my instructor after I failed.
A few times.

@Q123R

I'm much older than your son and I've got test number 4 on Monday. Seeing how my lesson went last week I'll be booking #5 that evening!

No tips, but I know how he feels!

She didn't say how old he is? So how do you know?

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OP he will pass eventually. It is tough, but he will get there. It took me ages to learn to drive - I passed first time but I was 24 whereas all my friends had been driving for years at that point. I got there eventually and so will he. It really is a case of keep trying, working on the reasons he failed etc.

My daughter failed twice & passed third time - we honestly had no idea If she would! We knew she was capable the driving teacher couldn’t see the point of paying for anymore lessons! As she was capable but just had to pass this test.
Nerves really took over during the test and she panicked- failed first time with a major in the last 5 minutes (automatic fail but she couldn’t have avoided it) (no other minors) second time was just a disaster of nerves.

We left a longer gap (6 weeks) with the 3rd test - we managed through a cancellation app for a Saturday morning - traffic was calmer (the test centre is between 2 secondary schools and 4 primary’s!) also less busy at the test centre she was the only one! Which helped her, when we turned up and realised it was the same examiner who had failed her twice already we just accepted she would probably fail - very relieved for her to pass with 4 minors!

We just told her to do her best and what will be will be - hour before full emotional breakdown tears the works refused to even go to test - but I think releasing all that anxiety helped her.

There are a lot of insightful YouTube videos about driving tests, a channel called DGN Driving School is particularly good, plenty of advice and info about common mistakes.

I passed fifth attempt. Don't worry, he will pass! You brush yourself down, book your test same day, and keep on going.

Have the majors been for the same thing or different ones. This will show if it's just nerves or if it is something to work on.

Thanks All, test booked for feb , the others were three weeks apart, maybe a longer break is needed. His instructor says he's ready , she can't teach him anymore, he's having a lesson just to practice. I know he can do it , will try the mars bar and get him to watch YouTube .

First major was reverse park , second observation, third road island. So next lesson is islands , lots in the town he takes the test.

It took me many many attempts before I passed. Many. In the end, I went in there with a different attitude of ‘I will drive how I see fit and I don’t care what the examiner thinks’. Sounds like the wrong attitude, but I finally passed.

It is dispiriting to fail, but he will get there.

Can he take the test somewhere else? I learned to drive in my late 20s and passed third time. I was very anxious and knew all the potential issues of the town I was taking the test in. It was full of round about, streets with cars parked in one side etc. My instructor suggested trying a different town. I'd never driven there until the week before the test, so rather than seeing a hazard and remembering the mistakes I'd previously made, I used active thinking and got on with it.

FWIW, I later lived in the first town and had no problem driving there, so it wasn't that I couldn't drive there, just that under exam conditions, I had too many bad memories affecting my ability.

took me three goes. There is a degree of luck in how the test goes - there are so many awful drivers on the road and sometimes encountering them does kind of panic you into doing something sub-optimal yourself.

This is a bit mean spirited, but I focused on a famously dim-witted celebrity whom I'd seen driving, and doggedly swore through gritted teeth that if they could pass a test, then I could.

My wife and I were talking about this recently, she passed second time, I passed fourth. Both of us passed on the test where we thought we failed early on, my theory is that once you think you have failed you stop being so anxious and just drive, which means you aren't psyching yourself out and making stupid mistakes.

It sounds like what he needs is lots of practice just driving.

Thanks all , hi Q123r, do is 17 so good chance you are older ( no offence ) . Yes he could take it in a different place but it means changing instructor

Failed four or five times for different things, ended up taking it in an automatic where I passed first time. I then drove for a year to get my confidence up, had a few lessons in a manual and passed.

I passed on my 8th go (I think, may have lost count). It was nerves that got me. Is your son the same? I tried Rescue Remedy in the end and it helped a lot.

Well done for getting it on the 8th . Just need to get Ds motivated that he can do it , he's all for giving up

If instructor feels he is ready then is nerves on the day a factor? My DD took many more tests than your DS (!) and in the end the instructor suggested hypnotherapy. She had 2 sessions and then passed. Maybe coincidence of course but at that stage we were ready to try anything as we knew she was a perfectly competent driver

@MrsRubyMonday

My wife and I were talking about this recently, she passed second time, I passed fourth. Both of us passed on the test where we thought we failed early on, my theory is that once you think you have failed you stop being so anxious and just drive, which means you aren't psyching yourself out and making stupid mistakes.

I think you’re completely right. In the test before I passed, I failed within the first 5 minutes. I stopped caring for the rest of the test. At the end, I had made no more serious errors and just a few minors. My examiner urged me to come back soon.