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Original poster

Xmas holiday and teens

51 replies

Purpleturtle2021 · 01/12/2021 09:20

We have a holiday to Spain booked for Xmas, the latest government changes mean my 2 teens, who are single jabbed, can't enter Spain. My partner wants to leave my teens (from a previous relationship) with family members so he, myself and our 2 toddlers can still go to Spain. His argument is that he works hard outside, he hates the winter, getting away means alot to him (which I understand) also my teenagers spend all their time in their bedrooms and never speak to us. My argument is leaving them behind when they were supposed to be coming and spending Xmas day without them. I've already said I can't leave them behind so we either spend Xmas at home, not talking to each other and being miserable or I leave my 2 teenagers with family so I can spend Xmas in Spain making my partner happy but myself and 2 teenagers unhappy. I just don't know what to do.

OP posts:
maofteens · 01/12/2021 09:22

Is there no way they can get their second jabs?
I wouldn't leave them either.

Pippioddstocking · 01/12/2021 09:24

Do not leave your teens, that sends them a very firm message of where they come in your priorities and could have huge implications on their self esteem . Your partner will get over it, they might not.
Any partner who gave me that sort of ultimatum would be a very swift ex partner!

Original poster
Purpleturtle2021 · 01/12/2021 09:25

They're only eligible for 1 vaccine, the UK government haven't offered the second vaccine to teens yet.

OP posts:

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thebakeoffwasntasgoodthisyear · 01/12/2021 09:26

It literally comes down to whose happiness is more important - that of either your DP or your teenagers. It’d be a no-brainer for me.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 01/12/2021 09:29

I'd be telling him to go alone then. (No chance of going elsewhere that does allow British teenagers?)
Families with teens are in a rubbish situation.

xxxGirlCrushxxx · 01/12/2021 09:32

Is this how he feels generally about your kids? Because nobody would even suggest that unless there was already a problem with him/them

Starbonnet123 · 01/12/2021 09:34

To be honest I wouldn't leave them . It was a family holiday now 2 members can't go , it wouldn't be fair to leave them .
I know you're torn but they're kids after all that want to be with their mum and siblings at Christmas ,
I'd stay at home with all the kids and suggest that you all go away in the new year or when able if you can change the booking or if your partner has to go on his own it's his choice , you decide what's best for you and your kids

FabriqueBelgique · 01/12/2021 09:36

I think you’re in a unfair position there! Maybe there’s a third option you haven’t thought of yet.

I still resent my family for going away without me for a week because I was a miserable teen and had voiced that the location would be boring for the Xth year in a row. I had to stay with the most boring relatives and hid in my room mostly, waiting for it to be over.

Teenagers can’t help being miserable. They still need to feel they’re worth being around.

That said, it depends on your family. Maybe your teens are extroverts and would love to stay with cousins their age? Or they’ve been complete shits this year and you deserve the break? Grin

EmmaStone · 01/12/2021 09:37

The JCVI have advised second jabs for teens, and NHS is currently preparing - you may be able to get them jabbed in next couple of weeks in time for the 2 week period before travel.

BarefootHippieChick · 01/12/2021 09:40

@Purpleturtle2021

They're only eligible for 1 vaccine, the UK government haven't offered the second vaccine to teens yet.

How old are they? Teens can now all have a second jab although obviously it might still be too soon since they had the first one. It's hard, teens have really been screwed over regarding travelling.

poshme · 01/12/2021 09:43

Extreme option: Someone on here flew their teen to Dublin and got them a second jab and EU health pass so they could travel to Europe.
Day flights to Dublin were £13 last time I looked.

Not sure if they're still doing walk ins for teens though.

Tal45 · 01/12/2021 09:44

Why doesn't he take the toddlers to Spain for a lovely holiday and you stay in the UK with the teens and have Christmas here?
Alternatively change the dates so the holiday doesn't fall right on Christmas day (shorten the holiday if needs be).

poshme · 01/12/2021 09:44

And sign the petition

petition.parliament.uk/petitions/596335

Tickledtrout · 01/12/2021 09:45

Still needs to be 12 weeks between first and second vaccination. So if they're secondary school age, and were vaccinated as part of school health programme, that will be a few weeks off

BarefootHippieChick · 01/12/2021 09:47

Haven't seen that before poshme so just signed. Feeling like teenagers really have got the shitty end of the stick in everything this past 18 months.

redtshirt50 · 01/12/2021 09:47

I personally wouldn't leave them and think your DP is selfish for putting you in this position.

But if the kids would enjoy wherever you planning on leaving them it makes it less bad.

If it would be boring and somewhere they likely wouldn't want to be - then you can't go.

Also, what would said family members think? It's quite a big ask for them to look after two moody teenagers over Xmas while you're off holidaying in Spain.

What would happen if you needed to do a long quarantine on your return? Would this negatively affect the teens?

peterpointerpickedapeck · 01/12/2021 09:50

How old are your teens? If they're under 18 they take the vaccine status of their parents.

MrsFin · 01/12/2021 09:50

What do the teens themselves think? Have you given the the choice? How old are they?
Lots of teens would welcome the opportunity NOT to be part of a family holiday, even over Christmas.

whatnumber · 01/12/2021 09:53

How old are your teens?
I thinks it's underestimated/not talked about much just how much good parenting can affect teenagers.
No matter how they behave the desperately need good stable parenting at this age.
Put them first as I'm sure you would do if they were toddlers. They will soon be moved out and you'll be remarking how quickly they grew up!
Tell your partner to stop behaving like a child and stop putting you in an awkward situation!

spagbog5 · 01/12/2021 09:54

Can you not move the holiday to somewhere that accepts them with a pcr before flying
We went to Cyprus with our one jabbed teen last month and it was really easy.
Pcr before flying
Cyprus pass for all
Pcr at arrivals for teen and had a brilliant holiday
Weather won't be brilliant in Spain now anyway

Ragwort · 01/12/2021 09:55

I agree with a PP, your DH takes the toddlers and you have a lovely relaxing time at home with the teens (bet he won't like that idea Grin).

LagneyandCasey · 01/12/2021 09:57

My teen spends most of her time on her room but I wouldn't use this as a reason to leave her to go on a holiday, especially at Christmas and especially with younger siblings.

BurbageBrook · 01/12/2021 09:59

What a horrible idea! No, don’t leave your teenagers.

SavageBeauty73 · 01/12/2021 10:00

I was just able to book the second vax for my 16 year old twins on Friday so you should be able to.

getsanta · 01/12/2021 10:02

I'm sorry, but I can't believe this is even a question. You would seriously consider leaving your teens on Christmas? I would be getting rid of any DP who even suggested I do something like that. He sounds terrible.