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Original poster

How do you feel when colleagues are off sick?

32 replies

parrotonmyshoulder · 01/12/2021 07:10

Especially if you know or suspect it is mental health related?
I need to stop. I need time off or I will end up leaving the job altogether. I am in a complete mess and so are my children. I can’t fix things without being in a better place myself.
But I will leave things undone at work that will mean that others have to do them, or pick up the pieces if they’re not done. Some are time limited. I can’t see how I’ll get better if they’re not done as I’ll keep thinking about them. But I’m not even in a fit state to make a list to help someone else.

OP posts:
MrsLargeEmbodied · 01/12/2021 07:11

of course i would be concerned
i have had colleagues but not not close colleagues, go off with stress

MrsLargeEmbodied · 01/12/2021 07:11

tbh we should not be privy to the reasons for the sickness

spotcheck · 01/12/2021 07:12

Honestly? I think it is absolutely understandable. I don't think twice. But, really, your colleagues don't need to know why you are off.

Haus1234 · 01/12/2021 07:13

It doesn’t matter what your colleagues think, and they’d have to pick up the work if you quite anyway. Take the time off.

R0tational · 01/12/2021 07:13

I wouldnt give a flying fuck. (I would hope theyre ok though). Take care. Flowers

AnFiadhRua · 01/12/2021 07:14

I know people have to be genuinely sick to let their workload build up more by being off sick so i feel bad for them and the million emails they will get back to.

Take some time off op. Listen to self compassion meditations. Do a bit of easy yoga. Eat nuts and avocados. Treat yrslf to a week in bed with a hot water bottle listening to audibles.

Dont burn out.

romola · 01/12/2021 07:14

If you were my colleague, I would worry about your welfare and hope you recovered and felt better. I wouldn't worry about picking up the pieces at work because that's how it goes. We all need time off sometimes and you should take all the time you need. Flowers

TulipsGarden · 01/12/2021 07:15

Surely no-one is going to tell them why you're off? If they guess or find out because someone blabs I'm sure they would be concerned and hope you're ok.

Do take the time off. There was a point in my life when I really should have, and I think I would have recovered a lot quicker if I'd allowed myself that rest.

Badabingbadabum · 01/12/2021 07:15

I hope they feel better soon and would take the time off they needed, whether it is something physical or mental health. Ill is ill.

AnFiadhRua · 01/12/2021 07:15

@MrsLargeEmbodied

tbh we should not be privy to the reasons for the sickness
This too.
Whatwouldscullydo · 01/12/2021 07:16

If you are sick you are sick. It wouldn't be my business what to of sick that was.

Unless you had firm fir going out getting drunk then calling in sick the next day ( have worked with a couple of those ) then the only thought going through anyones head should be " I hope s/he's ok"

mynameiscalypso · 01/12/2021 07:17

I have been both the person going off sick and the person picking up the work from someone going off sick. It's fine, both ways. Shit happens. We're a team.

HugeAckmansWife · 01/12/2021 07:17

I just covered for a week for my colleague. Organised cover lessons, taught the ones I was able to etc. You pitch in. If you're situation is serious or longer term, that's for manage to to deal with and delegate or hire a temp or whatever. I mean this kindly but no-one is indispensable, the world won't end if your job doesn't get done or gets done later so take the time you need. It's no-one's business.

Landlubber2019 · 01/12/2021 07:25

I am sorry you feel like this, its important that you take time to care for yourself and it sounds like you need to take a break.

I would take a week off and if you feel no better arrange a GP appt.

I would then look at what's brought you down and do you need you make lifestyle changes going forward? What can you do to keep well if anything?

Hope you feel better soon Flowers

user1471548941 · 01/12/2021 07:28

I went off with stress last year.

I got a message from a close colleague to tell me to look after myself that morning.

When I had got back they had shared my work between them without complaint and looked after everything so I didn’t have to pick too much up when I came back and came back in slowly. Several messages of support on work comms. Their great response probably made me realise I was taking too much on and needed to share more with the team- haven’t been anywhere near as stressed since.

I would do the same for another colleague- it was a great lesson for me.

Elieza · 01/12/2021 07:29

Take the time you need.

That’s what sick leave is for.

Original poster
parrotonmyshoulder · 01/12/2021 07:29

@Landlubber2019
Thanks. Well, thanks everyone.
‘I would then look at what's brought you down and do you need you make lifestyle changes going forward? What can you do to keep well if anything?’
I already did this last year and changed jobs, all sorts. But it’s caught up on me. I already have regular counselling that’s probably kept me okay for some time. Anyway, time is probably what I need.

OP posts:
Original poster
parrotonmyshoulder · 01/12/2021 07:30

I think my fear is ‘everyone’s stressed, why do I need special treatment?’

OP posts:
MrsLargeEmbodied · 01/12/2021 07:33

they dont need to know op,

MrsLargeEmbodied · 01/12/2021 07:34

yes we all get stressed but some people deal with it in different ways, and sometimes something has to give

Gazelda · 01/12/2021 07:35

@parrotonmyshoulder

I think my fear is ‘everyone’s stressed, why do I need special treatment?’
OP, we all have different coping mechanisms, background support, breaking points. Anyone with an ounce of compassion won't have a second thought about you being absent other than hoping you are able to do whatever is needed to get back to full strength. And anyway, as others have pointed out, your colleagues shouldn't be told the reason for your absence. You sound like a conscientious employee. If the situation were reversed I bet you'd be a supportive team member and do what you could to make things easier for your colleague's return. So trust them to do the same for you. Take the time off. You need it and will feel better for it, Thanks
Original poster
parrotonmyshoulder · 01/12/2021 07:36

Stop making me cry!

OP posts:
Waxonwaxoff0 · 01/12/2021 07:37

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest. I like being busy at work anyway.

rrhuth · 01/12/2021 07:38

I would hope you were OK, I would not judge you and I would also respect you for prioritising your health.

The world of work is insane these days, it isn't you.

FoxgloveSummers · 01/12/2021 07:40

@parrotonmyshoulder

I think my fear is ‘everyone’s stressed, why do I need special treatment?’
Is this what you would think about others?

I’ve seen my boss go home with a migraine when I had a headache. Did I think “well I can’t cope why can’t she?” Nah, I thought “urgh hers must be terrible, poor thing.”

Even if some few people are ungenerous and think that, though, so what? You don’t actually have a legal duty to be at work - you could quit tomorrow. You don’t owe them anything. Do you always feel too much responsibility for others?