Finally been offered new job, but instead of feeling happy I’m crying about it, does that mean it’s wrong?

[WhatAboutDessert]

Been in current job 11 years, very senior, good salary. Always been my dream job but I’m very much taken advantage of and dumped on, overloaded with stuff. No progression opportunities and frequently end the week exhausted and broken. Been terrible for mental health and very up and down.

Finally been offered new job having been looking 9 months. A good five figure salary increase, interesting position, great scope for advancement, job title maybe not as prestigious sounding, awful commute but only need to go in once a week and rest will be working from home. It is very flexible working hours and they are very family friendly (I have two primary school age children).

I should be celebrating but I feel absolutely sick. I don’t want to see my current role advertised as I know it will really upset me. I don’t know if it’s fear of change or that I don’t really want to leave.

Bump

Fear of change.

I got offered a new job today too! I cried too - but overall I'm really pleased. You should be too!!! Congrats OP!

Its your current burnout messing with your head. Can you take a couple of weeks between roles?

It's fear of the change and of the unknown. It is normal and you will get over it. Let your brain deal with its worries. Feel the fear, and do it anyway

Now for the good things: You are going to be AMAZING at this! It's going to be a great time in your life, full of challenges and excitement. You will meet new people and be able to develop your skills in a completely new and exciting way. Congratulations!!!

I got a new job OP after 15 years in the old one. Hated old job. New job was the other side of the country involving moving house. I thought I was insane but was properly stuck in a rut.
Anyway after having a mental meltdown about it it was the best thing I ever did.
I hope it works out for you.

I was unexpectedly offered my perfect job earlier this year and promptly burst into tears (fortunately the offer was via email!) I think it's a natural reaction to the prospect of a big change, even if it's a welcome one.

Your new job sounds great, old one sounds awful. Give yourself a bit of time to let it sink in and I'm sure you'll start to feel more positive.

Congratulations on getting the new job offer! Change is always slightly scary, but can also be the best thing for you. Take some time to decide, but ultimately there was a reason you went looking for a new job.
Best of luck!

Fear of change
Tis natural.

Don’t let it unsettle you - embrace and enjoy the change

Burnout, another word for exploited. Sleep on it. When you wake up you’re going to be thinking more clearly

You're crying with relief! Congratulations on the new job. You've had a terrible time with the old one, and months and months of searching and finally, a solution has arrived. Getting through the last little bit of any long ordeal can often be the worst bit. Somehow having the end in sight allows you to acknowledge just how awful it has been. All of this is totally normal! Go with the flow, have a really good cry and trust that you will feel better soon! Well done and GO YOU!!

I was in exactly the same position as you 6 weeks ago, cried my heart out telling my boss I was leaving after a decade even though I knew it was the right move for me. Cried my heart out again on my last day and had a weekend of panic thinking what the hell have I done

Two weeks into my new job now and I cant explain how much happier I feel and like a weight has been lifted!

Congratulations! Sounds like relief cry, I had this when I changed jobs recently. Didn't realise how burned out I was until I stopped and had a gap to rest 💐

Thank you everyone.

I really appreciate everyone who has taken the time to post. I wish I felt happier right now but I think a lot of it is fear. I’ve been there so long.

I would have loved a gap but my new employer is desperate for me to start and I already have a three month notice period so that isn’t possible.

“Feel the fear and do it anyway” as the self help book says!

Try and get a week between jobs if you possibly can. Even a long weekend. Even if you have to lose a weeks pay on your old job for not giving the full amount of notice and going a week early. And the new salary will make up for it.
You need time to decompress.

I just moved on after 12 years in a post. I was scared shitless. It was the best thing I’ve done.

You can do this.

It's just the fear of a new thing, you need to remind yourself how you felt as detailed in your OP. You want to be dumped on, overloaded? No! You deserve a better job than that. Good luck.

When I left my longest job, I felt very tearful even though I knew it was a dead end and leaving was right for me.

I slowly realised that I was mourning everything I’d hoped the job would be, and the fact that it was over (and that I’d wasted my twenties on it). To use an analogy, you can be glad to get divorced but still grieve for the dead marriage and all the dreams you’d had for it…

It's graduation goggles, where you focus on the good in your last job and not the bad. Take those goggle off.

Don't do what I did - turned down an amazing opportunity because I felt like you did and thought it was a sign the role wasn't meant to be. Regret it to this day!!

You'll be fine, you've said so yourself the current role offers no progression and has made you feel awful, you're looking at it through rose tinted glasses atm, give it a few months in the new role and you will think differently. It's a significant salary increase and mostly homeworking, especially as your kids go through changes over the next few years it's ideal x

Definitely try and take a week off between roles. You'll need a break

Congratulations 🍸🍸🍸

@Skysblue this really resonates with me. My current job has / had the potential to be great. They promised a lot but never deliver on it. Every time in the past I’ve made noises about moving on, they’ve promised again but then failed to deliver on it even when chased.

I always hope they will deliver but after all these years I know I’m chasing a fantasy. I’m definitely mourning what it could have been rather than what it is. I love elements of it but struggle to get past the many negatives where they’ve really let me down. Happy for me to do 60 hour weeks most weeks under extreme pressure. Not happy to deliver on their promises even when they’ve been in writing. 11 years is a long time though and there is a lot I’ll miss.

They won’t let me finish early, my new job won’t delay the start. I’d kick myself for turning it down (I also get a lot more annual leave, an extra 8 days!).

If you’ve got any annual leave owed from current job make sure you take it, In the 3 month notice period tie up any loose ends and leave everything tidy for your replacement but don’t stress over it. Don’’t do anything extra or unpaid. 5 minutes after you’ve left they will have forgotten about you.

I’m in a similar situation. I’m putting a lot of it down to fear of change.

Completely understand OP, im leaving my job after 20 years, just waiting for security clearance for my new job before i hand in notice - my boss already knows and i felt so guilty telling him.
I flit between excitement and 'what am i doing'.

You can do this. It’s obvious to me, from the other side of the world!