Help me please before I go completely bonkers. I have a 10yo DS who is bright, cheerful, and gets excellent reports from school about his “can-do” attitude and willingness to try hard at everything. So far, so good.
However his bedroom is often an absolute pigsty and he gets very upset when asked to tidy it. He would rather - I’m not exaggerating here - spend 4 hours telling me it can’t be tidied, it’s impossible, it would take days, it’s hopeless, he doesn’t know where to begin etc than just get on and do 10 minutes of tidying.
He has missed a trip out before because he didn’t do the requested 10-minutes of tidying before leaving, and he still didn’t learn. He ended up sitting on the bedroom floor in tears, still not tidying. Whole afternoons have been passed in this fashion. He has been shown how to tidy, and if I go in to help he will reluctantly make a half hearted effort for a few minutes, but only if I’m there constantly encouraging and directing. I have also tried bribery with extra pocket money but it didn’t help - he just sat there saying miserably “I can’t do it, I’m not going to be able to have the money”.
It’s driving me absolutely berserk. His sister is younger and a much more difficult character in general, but the complete opposite in this - she will get on and tidy her toys away quickly and efficiently when asked (ok, when made to). She will even come and help him, but again he will sit there saying “I just don’t see how it can be done” while she tidies round him.
Any suggestions for tackling this greatly appreciated! I just can’t understand how he’s so motivated to try things in general (and a lovely, easygoing lad), and yet so hopelessly defeatist on this.