I've been friends (acquaintances) with this man for a long time, mostly see him as part of a group, but recently we've moved closer into the friends bracket because of a shared hobby and have spent a bit of time 121. I've started to learn something of his life.
He has a female "friend". They're very very close. I suspect they were once lovers. She's very beautiful, very good company, but they both insist they are just friends. There are some sensible practical reasons they shouldn't be "together" but you would never know it when you see them together. He, particularly, doesn't see anyone else in the room when she is there. They're very touchy with each other too.
It's actually fascinating to watch.
Anyway he's recently split with a GF. He "tried really hard to be there for her, but she struggles with her MH and couldn't deal with my relationship with X"
I bet she couldn't. I think any woman would struggle with that. I think he probably believes the just friends thing and that GF should have been fine with it, some of her behaviour does seem extreme, but I'd guess that even if her MH was already fragile there was an element of gaslighting that contributed.
So the reason for my post. As he's talking to me about this stuff, would it be unreasonable of me to tell him that if he wants to be happy with someone else he needs to distance himself from X? That actually his behaviour to ex GF was quite cruel.
He's basically a nice guy, I think, but in this messed up situation. I have no stake in this, he's someone I like to spend the occasional afternoon with but I have no interest in anything else and knowing what I know wouldn't touch him with a bargepole anyway.