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Anxious 10 year old at my wits end

70 replies

Trynabeagoodmum · 27/11/2021 16:55

I have a 10 year old daughter who in the last month has deteriorated so fast with anxiety. Shes out of school now 3 weeks l dont know when she will go back.. she has extreme nausea when shes anxious. The GP gave me anti nausea meds, but they dont really work. Shes also on melatonin to help her sleep. She wont leave the house or even set foot in the car. Her school are sending home books next week.. Her anxiety is terrible at night. Im just wondering if anyone has any experience of this?... did you go to a therapist? If so which one a psychologist or psychiatrist? I just want to help her its awful watching her suffer so badly

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Trynabeagoodmum · 28/11/2021 11:19

It would be great if l could get to the source of the anxiety thank you

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Ktay · 28/11/2021 11:26

Here’s some info on PANDAS - the condition a few PPs have mentioned

Trynabeagoodmum · 28/11/2021 11:41

Thanks amil

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niceupthedanceagain · 28/11/2021 11:49

When she had the virus was she sick outside away from home? This seems the obvious root of it if so. She needs CBT before proper emetophobia sets in (I have it, it has ruined my life). I'd start out by pointing out all the times she has felt nauseous and not been sick. But also re school they probably need to let her go outside for fresh air/to wash her face in the loos if she feels nauseous at school because the 'trapped' feeling makes everything ten times worse.

Trynabeagoodmum · 28/11/2021 12:21

That makes a lot of sense cause the only foods she will eat now (very little) are the ones that didnt make her sick. When she was in school she felt badely nausious and in the car its horrendous but like u said she never actually gets sick just reall6 bad nausea. She gets pale clamey and looks awful when it happens.. l think CBT would really help too thank you

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burntsouffle · 28/11/2021 12:30

I mentioned emetophobia as it has a strong link with locus of control, viruses going around at the moment and OCD. It may be that she can't put it into words, but the feeling of being out of control is a strong one, especially in a setting where the locus of control is external like in school (things happening to you, rather than you deciding what happens next.)

belimoo · 28/11/2021 12:39

When I was suffering similarly at a similar age I couldn't eat at the dinner table as it felt overwhelming.

My mum used to let me lie on the sofa watching tv and would leave me alone with a plate of food near me but with no pressure at all to eat it. Being by myself and distracted by the tv usually allowed me to calm down enough for my hunger to kick in and I would usually eat at least some of the food.

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Nandiniti · 28/11/2021 12:44

OP I m now 49 but my anxiety at school started when I was 9 - I was always very anxious about vomiting (and pooping actually) anyway, but it ramped up when I felt ill at school and was sent home. After that, everyone and everything was a ticking time bomb, and a tummy bug or vomiting person was around every corner.

So I was very much like your daughter, and when anyone ever asked me why I was crying or had bright red rings around my eyes or refused to get on the coach or mix with anyone etc, I absolutely did not know how to articulate what my fear was because it was so intangible. I tried but didn't have the words, and in any case, when I did blurt out something simplistic like "I just want to be with my mum all the time" (i.e that's where I felt safe, away from other people), I'd get a lecture about being more grown up, so eventually I just said nothing.

When I look back, if I'd felt safe enough to be honest about what I was afraid of without getting "told off" for being needy or having histrionics as my mother called it, and if I'd been sent for CBT at a younger age (I referred myself aged 17), that would have made a huge difference.

Anxiety is much better understood these days especially in children, they didn't deal with it much in the late 70s/early 80s. CBT is amazing.

I don't know if that helps even in a small way, just trying to explain how it feels as a 10 year old! Flowers

Trynabeagoodmum · 28/11/2021 13:21

Thats a massive help and my daughter gets very upset and has the nausea when l say lm going somewhere.. she will talk to me but l think a professional will be able to make her realise what shes worrying about and then we can help her to manage the symptoms thank you

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Trynabeagoodmum · 28/11/2021 13:22

Shes eating with the tv on now and l try not to ask her if shes gonna eat it.. the food can be there for an hr but shes manages some of it at least thank ypu

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Hugoslavia · 28/11/2021 13:29

The calm app sleep stories at night. They do them for children. Perhaps a new night light/pyjamas/ re style her bedroom to make bedtime feel a bit better. Also scented oils/eucalyptus. Fatigue and illness can make people feel anxious anyway. I would also be looking into CBT/ psychotherapy. I would go to the drs and get on a waiting list, but I wouldn't sit around waiting either. The sooner she receives treatment, the more effective it will be. So I would find a private licensed psychotherapist with experience in children asap. I would also invite her friends round for a play date as she needs to socialize and relax. That might also encourage her to go back to school.

Trynabeagoodmum · 28/11/2021 18:46

Great idea about the friends. Im gonna try and get a referral asap thank you

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TeenMinusTests · 29/11/2021 18:55

Hope today has been OK.

ProfYaffle · 29/11/2021 19:04

Much sympathy - it's awful watching your child go through this. My dd2 had a prolonged hospital stay which resulted in her developing PTSD and anxiety. The GP referred her for counselling but the waiting list was ridiculous. I ended up sourcing a private therapist for EMDR initially and more general talking therapy subsequently.

YY to the pro biotics btw, I got dd to take a mega dose short course and it seemed to help.

She still has mildish anxiety (age 14 now) but it doesn't have a massive impact and she can function normally with a bit of reassurance

Trynabeagoodmum · 29/11/2021 19:41

Thanks for this its great to hear they can recover l also think her illness affected her

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Trynabeagoodmum · 29/11/2021 22:06

Today was a definite improvement on yesterday we are finding ways to distract from the anxiety. Eating it up a liitle too

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Fadette · 29/11/2021 22:18

The other possibility is post viral syndrome. I had this when I was 11 after a vomiting bug. It caused me really bad anxiety, particularly separation anxiety from my Mum as I became scared she was going to die for some reason, depression and loss of appetite. My parents thought I had anorexia but it was just the extreme anxiety that completely took away my appetite. If I put food in my mouth it tasted like sawdust and I could barely swallow it. I was also really tired all the time. It took a while but it did eventually get better on its own.

Trynabeagoodmum · 29/11/2021 23:17

Shes really fatigued and the same she hates food its like her enemy.. her illness really affected her and very bad separation anxiety too.. lm feeling theres l8ght at the end of the tunnel today.. a glimmer thank you

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OppsUpsSide · 29/11/2021 23:21

Have you looked into specialist SEMH schools within your area?

Trynabeagoodmum · 21/12/2021 20:14

Hi
To all the lovely people who gave me advice when l was at my wits end. Im delighted to say my daughter is much much better eating, sleeping happy still not back to school but we will get there lm sure starting CBT soon shes doing really wellSmile

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